UPJOKE

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
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If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist...

I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence"
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Someone called me pretty today

Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying" but i only focus on the positive things
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Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.

Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem

Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.
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Someone called me pretentious today.

I nearly choked on my honey-cardamom latte.
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If I had a dollar for every time someone called me immature

I’d have so many hotwheels
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Someone called me and sneezed and then ended the call

I’m tired of all these cold calls!
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Someone called me on the phone and asked me if I wanted satellite radio.

I said, ā€œ are you Serius ā€œ?
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Someone called me immature today.

Guess who isn't allowed in my tree house?
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Someone called me an asshole the other day

What can I say, you are what you eat

Someone called me a massagenist recently.

I was offended; rubbing backs is a woman's job.
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If I had a pound for every time someone called me lazy

I'd have enough money to not need a job
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Someone called me a son of a gun the other day

So I shot them with my dad.
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If I had a dollar for every time someone called me attractive...

I’d get my friends to call me attractive over and over again. Then I’d pocket everything for myself because I’m a selfish jerk.

Every time someone called me spoiled I felt bad..

that their parents didn't love them.
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