Yo Momma so ugly...

Scorpion from Mortal Kombat be like "Stay over there."

How did Scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend?

GET OVER HER!!

A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent...

In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.

In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.

In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room.

What did Scorpion say when Sub-Zero wouldn't stop pining over his ex-girlfriend?

Get Over Her!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Department of Defense wanted to improve their survival training...

The select a sergeant from the Army, Marine Corp, and Air Force for interview, in order to see what they already know.

The interviewer asked the three sergeants, "OK. What would you do if you were away on deployment, you're about to go to sleep, when you find a large scorpion in your tent."...

Fear the wrath!

Things that people who come to Australia are afraid of: Spiders, Scorpions, Snakes, Sharks, Crocs, Jellyfish, Octopus, Stone Fish, Feral Pigs, Giant bulls, Emus, and Kangaroos.
Things that Australians are afraid of: Magpies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about the different branches of the US military.

“What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”

A sailor says, “I’d step on it”

A soldier says “ I’d report it to my CO”

A marine says “I’d catch it, cut off it’s tail and eat it!”

An airman responds “I’d pick up the phone and call room service and ask why’s the...

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
“What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”
A sailor said, “I’d step on it.”
A soldier said, “I’d squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.”
A...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are trekking across the desert... [Long]

Two of them are thirsty, but the last is holding an empty wine bottle, and is drunk af. Suddenly, a holy light shines down on them, and St. Peter appears.

"There's not a drop of water around for miles" he says. "But I have a task for each of you: if you complete them, you will be granted enou...

A frog is sitting alone on the Jordan River's banks...

A Frog is sitting alone on the Jordan River's banks, when a long comes a Scorpion.

 

The Scorpion says "Frog, I wish to cross this river, would you please carry me across on your back?"

 

The Frog responds, "We are natural enemies, why should I do that? ...

The devil and three doors

Phil finds himself dead and standing at the gates to hell. The devil approaches and says, "Welcome Phillip, we've been expecting you. Allow me to explain how this works. Everyone that comes here gets an opportunity to choose how they will spend their eternity, behind one of these three doors. Go ah...

This Halloween on the East Coast

I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.

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