Someone's Jokes

"I find your lack of face disturbing."

He was very much wracked with guilt in his confession.

The priest forgave him in God's name, but added that in a secular sense, he still needs to return the cow.

The thief asks, "Will you take the cow, then, Father?"

The priest says, "No my son, I cannot accept."

The con... read more

I responded, "How about now?"

Like "who are you" and "is that a gun?"

Because you're a joke.

I was donating blood.

Ask them who won the election.

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a stunningly beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus, she became aware that her skirt was too t... read more

Quoting someone's mistakes is a sic burn.

Brad's first year away at university was a lot of partying and paying for his friend's. He quickly runs out of money. His father would not be pleased with his wastefulness, so Brad sends him a message stating he has a professor that can teach his father's dog how to read and write for a bargain pric... read more

The first man fired his pistol 20 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm James Bond." He said.

The second man shot an arrow 30 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm Robin Hood." He said.

The third threw a boomerang 40 meters away, hits the forehead of that person.

"I'm sorr... read more

Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Textual frustration.

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ... read more

You're not alone.

Now its a car-pet

They'll tell you!

The plot thickens

the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

But I'm willing to try.

Piece of cake!

A deafinition.

Remember it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMW's

And suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

Police are working tirelessly trying to find him.

Do you stand corrected?

Do vegans drool when someone is outside and is mowing their lawn?

Because that person is still alive?

"Mate I have no idea what you're tolkien about"