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Soda Can Jokes

Soda Can

Yesterday someone hit my head with a soda can,
luckily it was a soft drink.

What’s the difference between a ruble and an empty soda can?

An empty soda can is redeemable for cash.

The other day, I was in Minneapolis and found a small soda can.

It was a Minnesota

How much soda can a tropical bird drink?

Tucans

I hate my job smashing old soda cans

It’s soda pressing

Me: *hits friend with a soda can*

Friend: Ouch! Why did you do that?

Me: Stop complaining, it was a soft drink afterall.

*insert Seinfield theme*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

one day a soda can got crushed

The next day it went to his therapist and said I'm sodapressed

I’m just sitting here all sad, crushing soda cans by myself

It’s soda pressing

I asked my friend why he stopped working his job of squishing soda cans at the recycling factory?

He said that it was soda pressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Redneck birth control

A man and a woman from Alabama don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio.

The doctor asks, "What state are you from?

The man says "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in...

I wanted to buy a drink from a vending machine, but there was a guy in front of me.

I tried to wait my turn patiently, but he just kept buying soda. I stood there for a while just watching him put in some money and take his drink, over and over until he had a whole bag of soda cans. He showed no signs of stopping, so I asked him, "Why do you keep doing that? Are you ever going to g...

I used to work at a place where they crushed down soda cans after they were used.

I had to quit though, because it was just

*soda pressing*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It took me a while to get this...funny when I did though

Cats probably wonder why soda cans/bottles yell "FUCK OFF" when they are opened...

Hillary Clinton comes home one day and finds Bill putting a large box back into the closet...

...she asks him what it's for and he responds, "Don't worry honey. Just forget about it." She does until a few weeks later when her curiosity peaks. She looks in the box and finds $80,000 and 2 soda cans.

When bill gets home she asks him about the box and why there's $80,000 and soda cans i...

On Bill and Hillary's wedding night

On Bill and Hillary's wedding night, Bill said " I'll always be truthful to you Hillary, but promise you'll never open this shoebox.

Thinking it's a strange request, Hillary agreed that she never would.

On their 30th anniversary, she stumbles upon the box. Having kept her promise fo...

A blonde...

...is at a soda machine outside a gas station. A man walks up to her because he sees she has her arms full of soda cans. She put in another quarter, and yet another soda pops out. Another quarter, another can. He finally asked her, "Why do you keep putting money into the machine? I think you have en...

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