The 166+ Best Can Jokes

Andrew Tate says his Romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?"

Say the lice.

"Dad, can I borrow $10 worth of bitcoin?"

"Borrow $11.62? ... What the hell do you need $7.45 of bitcoin for?"

A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you...

A: Have lunch.

B: Browse reddit.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!

Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

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A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $80. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appo...

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage

I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”

How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fettish?

Ask them what a dungeon master is

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

The doctor replied “Don’t worry, Those are just contractions.”

One night Chun Li gets drunk and decides she wants to get laid. So, she asks her friend Cammy if she knows which of the male Street fighters can help her get off...

Cammy said, "Sure. Ryu can."

Name one superhero that can beat Captain America...

Captain Vietnam

Saw the CEO arriving to work in a Ferrari this morning. He noticed i was looking and he told me "if you work hard for this company, if you stay overtime without asking compensation, if you truly believe you can make a difference and instill the same passion into your colleagues...

... then probably next year I'll be able to go for a Lambo"

What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time?

A subwoofer

Who’s the Pokémon that can be found in the home of nearly every lonely adult?

Sudowoodo

What is the worst thing you can say when someone points a gun at you?

Oh, shoot!

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Man 1: Tell me the shortest sentence you can think of.

Man 2: Why?

Edit: Fuck

Edit 2: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers

I am from the future I can predict the score of the super bowl LVII before it starts...

0-0

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A dyslexic son asked his mum if he can have some McDonald’s for dinner.

He’s mum said ok, but only if he can spell out McDonald’s.
The son replied: Fuck it, I’ll just have some KCF!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener

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How can I improve this joke I wrote?

A man one day hears a buzzing noise from the spare bedroom in his house and when he goes to open the door it's locked. His wife walks out 15 minutes later looking very relaxed and he asks her what that noise was.

She tells him its the new vibrator she bought and its amazing! The next day the ...

Can’t believe the film Groundhog Day came out 30 years ago....

It feels like yesterday.

My wife is fed up with me constantly posting jokes here, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!" I chuckled...

"No it doesn't!"

How can you tell if a guy has a high sperm count?

His girl has to chew before swallowing.

What vegetable can be delivered by a postman?

Lettuce

My son asked me, “Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge?” I smiled and said, “Sure..."

"But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.”

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A horse is sitting in his stable one day when he hears music coming from the farmhouse. He waits patiently for the farmer to go out before making his way across to the farmhouse to see what's going on. As he peers through the window he can see MTV is on the television.

Horse goes into the house and sees a rock band on the screen. He is instantly taken by the guitar and decides there and then he wants to play. He uses the telephone and calls the local music shop. He explains that he has seen the band on TV, that he is a horse and that he wants to play guitar, The m...

CHRIS: Hey can I borrow a ten?

KRISTEN: Sure

CHRISTEN: Thanks!

KRIS: Any time!

What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row?

A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!

Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi.

Backwards.

I can cut through a piece of wood just by looking at it...

It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!

what's the difference between a large pizza and an American?

The pizza can feed a family of 4

What do you call something you can serve but can't eat?

A volleyball.

Police officer: sir, you can’t fish here

Man: I’m not fishing, I’m teaching my pet worms how to swim.

What do you a call a fat lady who can tell the temperature?

Yourmometer

As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

Can February march?

No. But April may.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today.

That’s 5 years in a row now...

I can't lift a ton of chicken soup but I can lift a ton of pho.

Because a pho ton is light.

Patient...Dr can you please help me I keep waking up thinking I'm Tom Jones. Is this normal ???

Dr ... It's not unusual

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A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he’s being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the agent looks over his paperwork and says:

“The reason for your audit is that you live such a lavish lifestyle, yet not much income to justify it. Can you tell me what you do for a living...

I’ve just found out there’s an actual clinical name for the condition where you can’t sleep and just eat instead

It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia

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Offer a man a plane ticket and he can fly for a day.

Pueh a man from a plane, and he can fly for the rest of his life.

Edit... I fucked up, I know, but I'm rolling with it... pueh... PUEH!!!!

I don't understand how cemeteries can raise their prices

and blame the cost of living

My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me:

"Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?"

"Erm, I don't know" I replied

"Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing

"Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs"

"Donald Duck" I replied

"No, all ducks you idiot"

I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?” I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled...

“It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

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Can I have a beer?

A young boy sat next to his grandfather on the front step and asked if he could have a sip of his beer. The grandpa asked him “can the head of your dick touch your asshole?” The boy replied “No”. The grandpa said “well then you’re not old enough”. This went on for several years always with the same ...

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. I say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him swim.

I am _never_ playing water polo again

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A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it befo...

can someone tell me what LGBTQ means?

I can't get a straight answer

I asked my boss, “Can I leave work early today?”

Boss: Only if you make up the time.

Me: It’s 49 past 70 o clock.

Boss: You’re fired.

Can Flemish and Dutch people understand each other?

Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"

They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".

The man behind the c...

My annual cake day joke repost - how can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce unionized

What's the worst thing a woman can hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

I've invented a new soft drink that floats out the can

It breaks the laws of fizzicks

What can you do with an elephant with three balls?

Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time...

but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"

Where can you still get gas for $1.39?

Taco Bell

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide...

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

The second old guy says,

'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little des...

What can you do as a tourist in North Korea?

What you're told.

What's the worst thing a girl can hear when she starts dating a doctor?...

"Ok, you're gonna feel a little prick..."

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus…

…but geometry is where I draw the line.

My four-year-old nephew still can’t say ‘please’ in Spanish.

That’s poor for four.

It can get hairy.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

The Doctor tells me I can play with myself whenever I like

My wife tells me that's not what 'You could have a stroke at any moment ' means

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I asked a hooker for a blowjob

She said it would cost $50

I said I only have have $5 what can I get for that?

She said a bus pass

I said what am I supposed to do with a bus pass?

She said I don't know but you're not getting off here

Dad, can I ask you two questions ?

Yes, son. Now, what's your second one ?

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My wife says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page

Please don’t make that happen, she has been dying to try that strap-on on me forever.

What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan?

Cast Iron.

What does a piano, a tuna, and glue have in common?

You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna!

What do you call a man who's so strong he can lift a car?

Jack

What's the worse job you can get as a vegan in England?

Beefeater.

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They DoD realized they have too many Generals.

So they offer a retirement package where they have a doctor measure the distance between any two points on their body and they get $10,000 for every inch.

An Air Force General is the first two take the offer and has the doctor measure him from the top of this head to the bottom of this feet. ...

What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly?

Stationary.

How can you tell the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

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How can you tell that someone's a homewrecker?

It's fucking apparent.

Garbage can

An old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came dow...

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What can you say to a dentist that you can also say to a prostitute?

Give me oral, B!

A blacksmith said to his new helper, "You see this piece of iron? When I nod my head, you hit it as hard as you can with your hammer."

Those were his last words.

Not just anyone can work at the Mountain Dew factory

You gotta have a can dew attitude.

You can keep your beer cold with the same stuff that makes it clear

Isinglass

My can opener quit working last night.

Guess its a cant opener now.

A lawyer walked into the courtroom wearing nothing but his underwear and asked, "Can we please postpone the trial?"

The judge replied, "Of course! How can we start when you've forgotten your lawsuit?"

What’s the worst crime a slime creature can commit?

Gelatany

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What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room that means it’s good.

My go-to pickup move when I'd just walk next to a girl in the bar and whisper in her ear "If I get excited,I can touch the bottom of the Pringles can" and see how their eyes light up excitement

I love these new snack size ones.

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Well, after years of begging, my wife finally gave in and said tonight we can try anal sex.

Just one question, though.
What's a strap-on?

So there's this part of a woman's body that can drive her wild with erotic pleasure and I can't remember the name of it.

It's on the tip of my tongue...

Can anyone tell me the natural predator for young goats?

When I try to look it up I just get swatted

Q. What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?

A. Baby, darling, honey…

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I lost my penis in an accident and they took me to the hospital.

The doctor said "don't worry we have a range of penises we can surgically attach. We have small, medium and big. They all cost £10,000. I'll leave you to discuss it with your wife" 20 minutes later the doctor comes back in and asks for a decision.
"I've discussed it with my wife and we've decide...

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A man applies for a government job

A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.

”Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”

The interviewer ...

What is the definition of trust?

Two cannibals having a 69.

So what if I can’t spell Armmagedon?

It’s not the end of the world.

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"You're under arrest, anything you say CAN and WILL be held against you"

"Boobs!! Boobs!! Big boobs!!"

Why can people never tell who Superman really is?

Considering they always mistake him for a bird or a plane, it’s a miracle they see him at all

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An Elderly Woman Gets Pulled Over For Speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

O...

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A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word "contagious" in a sentence.

Jenny puts her hand up and says "My mum says we should stay home when we're sick incase we're contagious."

"That's right" the teacher says, "Anyone else?"

Susie says "My grandma says a smile can be contagious."

"Very good" says the teacher, "Anyone else?"

Little Johnny pu...

What bird can build a tower?

A crane.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.

‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied, ‘I know the guy.’

What's the worst combination of diseases you can have?

Alzheimer's and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, especially when you can't remember why you're running.

Odd how you can only send mail during the day.

They are called post office hours, after all.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. I mean you haven't done a...

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A husband tells his wife: "I bet you can't say something that makes me happy and sad at the same time"

She told him: "you have the biggest dick in the whole town"

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To the bastard in a wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket..

You can hide, but you can't run!

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To librarian: Can I have self help book for men with small penis?

Librarian: It isn't in yet.

" Yes, that's the one"

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My wife was incredibly mad when she found out I have been visiting prostitutes for sex

I said “Well you can hardly blame me, it’s not like I was getting any from you!”

She yelled, “But I didn’t know you were willing to pay for it!”

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Harold got in bed, kissed his lovely wife, and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the pearly Gates and St. Peter said..

“You died in your sleep, Harold.”

Harold was stunned. "I'm dead...? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back to my wife!”

St. Peter said, "Perhaps that can be arranged, but there aren’t many open spots right now. You’ve got two alternatives: you can come back to you...

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How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? …

sex is what we want!

I can laugh in color

Hue hue hue hue

You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American

His superpower is healthcare

What does every woman have that starts with a V, that she can use to get what she wants?

Her voice.

I can’t be injured by cars.

The scientists said I have an autoimmune condition.

Why is crushing pop cans taxing on one's mental health?

Because it's soda pressing.

How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill two and a half men

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An attractive lady is at her doctor's

She's lying on her back on the examination couch, her blouse undone and looks up into his eyes and says, "Kiss me doctor,"
"No I can't, " replied the doctor.
"Oh go on, kiss me, kiss me," she insists,
"No it's out of the question," said the doctor,
"Why's that?" She asks disappointedly.<...

An iguana can stay underwater for up to 28 minutes

Or longer, if you don't mind it dying

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Things you can say during sex and at a funeral. I’ll go first....

Even with all of her health issues, I'm glad grandma was able to come.

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What can happen if you have sex with shellfish?

You get clamydia

Q: What has huge nipples and can sing?

A: Areola Grande.

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An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II

An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."

The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."

"That is correct...

What can you add to any food to make it taste better?

The word "free"

How can you tell the difference between an influencer and a computer scientist?

By checking how they pronounce the word “bios”

FAQ: Can I returned my child and get a refund?

No, but we can give you stork credit.

A colon can change the meaning of a sentence completely

For example:
Jane ate her friend's sandwich.
Vs.
Jane ate her friend's colon.

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

You know why they can’t cremate the pope?

‘cause he ain’t dead yet

A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door...

A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or your mum home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town".
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with mum and dad".
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himse...

Anyone know where a guy can find someone to hang out with, maybe have a few beers with, talk to, and kinda just enjoy spending time with?

Asking for a friend.

I got kicked out of my favorite Vietnamese restaurant and told I can never come back.

How dare they banh mi!

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A TV crew went to interview the oldest man living in a small village

"Can you tell us what was the happiest moment you can remember?"

"That was when Mary Jones got lost on the hills over there. We organized a search party and when we found her we were so happy that we had a special celebration, everybody got drunk and all the men in the village fucked Mary Jon...

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My wife and I can never agree on when to have sex

I want to have sex when I come home from work.

She wants to have sex while I’m at work.

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A son ask his dad "Dad, how can I take the next step with my girl? We kissed and all, but I don't know how to proceed... "

His dad answers "Listen to me son, do what I did with your mother. I treated her to a romantic dinner, took her home and brought her to her room. We're there, I look at her, and she looks at me. I look at her she looks at me, I look at her she looks at me, I move her panties away and put it in! " ...

What's interesting is that this joke can now be reused and instead of Soviet Union we can just say; current day Russia

In Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car...

He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds:

'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?'

The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car.

So he pays for the car in advance, and ju...

[OC] I went shopping with my wife yesterday....

She looked at lipsticks for over 30 minutes but she didn't buy any

She tried 20 kinds of perfumes but none of them were good enough

She tested 10 different kinds of mascaras but she didn't like any of them

She read the labels of all the blushes just to finally walk out empty han...

Dad, can you explain what a Solar Eclipse is?

No, son.

What cake can love anyone?

A pan cake

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and ...

What’s black, white and red and can’t fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills

# For all who know/knew that poem of Rudyard Kipling’s, “If”

**A delightful take-off!**

**If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,**

**If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,**

**If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,*...

How can you tell a developer from an astronomer?

You ask them what does JWT stands for

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks…

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving ...

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Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no ...

A man finds himself in a jungle surrounded by cannibals…

Seeing no possible way to escape, he says to himself, “Oh God, I’m screwed!”

Suddenly a light shines down from the heavens upon the man and he hears the voice of God, and God says, “No my son. You’re not screwed. You see the rock on the ground next to you? The pointy one? Take it and throw i...

Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please?

Waitress (slaps me): That’s none of your business!

Three men arrive simultaneously at the Pearly Gates.

They are greeted by St. Peter, who tells them, "Welcome! Before you can enter heaven, you must be circumcised, and I can see that none of you are. The standard procedure these days is that we remove your foreskin using whatever method your father used to make a living."
To the first guy, he says...

An elderly couple decides to live it up a little and go to McDonald's...

When they order the food, the old man divides the fries in half and splits the burger in two.

Some students see this and offer to buy some more food so that they can both eat a whole sandwich.

"No, no, that's fine," says the old man, "We share everything."

So the old man start...

Why can’t the vaccine contain holy water?

Because you’re not supposed to take the lord’s name in vein.

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Why say you swallow cum?

When you can say you sucseed

The blind salesman a woman in the shower

A woman was taking a shower when she heard a knock on the door. She called out, “who is it? I can’t come to the door right now, I just stepped out of the shower” The man at the door answered “Don’t worry lady, I’m a blind salesman”…so the woman says “ok you can come in”. He gets inside and asks: “wh...

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. ...

Can a ninja throw a throwing star?

Sure-he-can

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune

But chick peas can only hummus one.

My friend was bragging his new 3D printer can print a gun.

I wasn’t impressed, I’ve had a Canon printer for years!

It dawned on me why teenagers are always in groups of 3 or 5

Because they can’t even

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A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich...

The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Ce...

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The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does abou...

Yo Mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs….

My phone ran out of space.

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A dyslexic boy is on his way home from training with his mam...."Can we stop at McDonald's mam? I'm starving" the boy asks. "If you can spell McDonald's we will stop on the way home ofcourse son" The boy pauses, composes himself and begins "M" "C" He begins to struggle....

"Ah fuck it mam let's have a KCF"

Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?” And the other responds, “duh...

... can you see Florida ?

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I saw my wife walk past me with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

Today is laundry day.

Man goes to a pet store to get his wife an anniversary present.

He walks into the store, owner greets him and asks how he can help him. He glances at the pets I the store and sees birds, guinea pigs, fish and stuff.

Husband: "Today is our anniversary and I'm looking for something real special for my wife."

Owner: "Boy do I have something special fo...

What do libertarians and house cats have in common?

They both act like they are independent and self sufficient but in reality are utterly dependent on a system they can neither appreciate nor understand.

What's the oldest you can be to get a circumcision?

I need to know the cutoff date.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I am a compulsive gambler

Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back

What requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing, you can’t quit and people’s lives are on the line?

_*Motherhood.*_

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day in class, the teacher calls on Little Johnny...

... and asks him to tell the class a story with a moral in it.

So Johnny says, “One day at the farm, a chicken and horse were playing together. The horse falls into quicksand, and he implores the chicken to go get the farmer. He can’t find him anywhere, so he jumps into his BMW, backs i...

A boy asks god,

“Is it true that a billion years is a second to you?”

God says yes

“Is it true a billion dollars is worth a penny to you?”

God says yes

“Can I have a penny right now?”

God replies, “Sure, just one second.”

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