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Side By Side Jokes

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar...

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3 Tampons,are walking down the street side by side. Which one says hi first?

None, they’re all stuck up cunts.

Two tightropes are side by side.

One is made of polyester, the other nylon.

The tightrope walker makes it across the polyester rope with no trouble, but on her way back across the nylon line, the rope gives a little too much, and she falls to the net.

The polyester rope looks over in disappointment. "That was a disg...

A lawyer, a priest and a schoolboy were sitting side by side on a plane.

Suddenly, they watched as one by one, the engines stopped working as the ash from the volcano they flew over clogged them.

The pilot announced sadly, “There’s not a damn thing we can do. We’re going to crash. Thank you for flying with us.”

While everyone was panicking, the three went t...

Two fish are side by side in a tank

One looks to the other and asks. “How do you drive this thing”

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An old couple are sitting on a seat in a park, side by side...

... the husband leans over to his wife, says "Fuck you" and smiles.

The wife turns to him, also smiling, and replies "Fuck you too, dear."

They both sit in silence for a few minutes, before the wife turns to her husband.

"Dear, I can't say I'm a big fan of this oral sex."

2 sperms are swimming side by side

sperm 1: do you know how much longer 'til the fallopian tube?

sperm 2: fallopian tube? we aren't even past the esophagus yet!

Two ants were walking down a road, side by side.

One ant says to the other, "You know, despite how incredibly successful our species is, our tiny brains are nowhere near having the capability to comprehend language like humans do."

The other replies, "Yeah, I really wish people would stop anthropomorphizing us in their jokes."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little old couple are sitting on their porch side by side in rocking chairs

Out of nowhere, the little old woman reaches over and smacks her husband across the face.

He looks at her in shock and goes, "What the hell was that for?!"

"That's for having a tiny dick to pleasure me with for the past 60 years!"

They go back to rocking back and forth in their ...

Two men are walking side by side down the street

One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it, and says, “This guy looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know him from.” The other guy grabs it from his hand, takes a look at it, and says, “It's me, you idiot!”

Two Trump supporters are walking side by side.

After a while, one asks the other "Can I walk in the middle now?"

My girlfriend and I were doing treadmill side by side in the gym...

I took this opportunity and told her that we are going nowhere.

Did you know there are so many lawyers in America that if you lined them up side by side

They would reach all the way into each other’s pockets.

Two sperm were traveling side by side when one of them yells "Oh yeah! We're off to make a baby!"

The other sperm says "Take it easy man, it's a long trip. We only just passed the tonsils."

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods.

The bear leans over and says to the rabbit, "Hey rabbit, do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says, "No."

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

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Two blokes were on a plane one day.......

........ and they were sitting side by side. Coincidentally, they each had one black eye. They started talking.. 'hey mate do you mind if I ask how you got your black eye?'. 'Yeah no worries', the other one responded. 'I was at the airport check in and when I got to the counter, I couldn't help but ...

Did you know If you laid out all your veins and arteries next to your body side by side

You'd be dead

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Two residents of an old folks home fall in love…..

June and Freddy. And they adore each other but they are too old and weak for sex. So the way they show affection is that each evening, June visits Freddy in his room, they sit side by side in their armchairs, and June just holds Freddy’s penis in her hand while they watch TV. That’s their love life ...

Three new fathers, an Englishman, a Welshman and an Indian are looking at their newborn babies cribs in hospital.

All three babies are side by side and the fathers are congratulating each other on their new arrivals.

Just then, a nurse enters the room, looking quite flustered.
"I'm sorry" says the nurse " but we've lost the paperwork, and can't tell you whose baby is whose!"

The three fathers l...

A widowed man enters a nursing home. Lonely, he meets a lady and invites her to sit with him in the courtyard and hold hands.

Wheelchairs side by side, night after night, their affection blossoms to the point she lays her hand on his crotch. This happens like clockwork, every night.
One night, she wheels herself to the courtyard. To her horror, he is sitting next to another woman's wheelchair.
In tears, she whee...

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