This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A vampire bat came flopping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, parked himself on the ceiling of a cave, and prepared to get some sleep.

Pretty soon, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and go get some sleep.

But they persisted, until finally he gave in, grudgingly. “Ok,” he said, “follow me,” and he flew out of the cave with hundreds and hundreds of bats...

Two men are drinking in a bar

They pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in.

The bartender comes over and says "you can't eat your own food in here"

So they swapped sandwiches.

Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”

"I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whi...

How do Lions like their meat prepared?

Apparently poached.

"What would you like for your anniversary, darling?" asked the husband as the couple prepared to celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary.

"How about a new wardrobe full of designer labels?"

"No, I don't think so," said the wife.

"Then what about a new Mercedes?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Then what about a holiday in Bali?"

"No, I don't think so. You see, what I really want is a divorce....

Who's the most prepared person on earth?

Justin Case

Four friends were so well prepared for the finals that the weekend before finals,

they decided to go for a picnic and party with some friends up there.

They had a great time.

However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to College until early

Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find t...

An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher ...

My manager asked me if I had prepared my report on how to cut costs at our cookie factory...

Thinking quickly, I told him that we could save money by not fully cooking all our cookies.
It was a half-baked idea, but it turned out to save us a lot of dough.

So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong...

Killed 'em both.

People ask how I'm so prepared for Christmas

It's easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since August, my girlfriend is going to love her new puppy

A Native American asked his chief about the coming winter

"How bad will this winter be?" He asked.

"It is good to be prepared. Get some firewood ready" replied the chief.

The chief then called his friend in the national weather service to ask him. " How bad will this winter be?"

The meteorologist said "this will be a pretty cold winter...

What happened to the Transformer that ate poorly prepared food?

It came down with Autobotulism.

You've gotta be prepared these days, so I've bought myself an air raid shelter for the back yard.

I've requested it comes with sound proofing, doors that lock from the inside and enough supplies to last for a week.

It should be ready in time for my wife's next period.

Wow, some people are so prepared!

Christmas is 364 days away, and some people already have their lights up!

The gynecologist who became a mechanic!

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligentl...

An ancient mathematical joke

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife routinely turns down my sexual advances because she has headaches. Feeling particularly horny last night I prepared for that scenario.

As she joined me in bed I asked her if she would like to make love. She declined with her usual headache.

I carefully pulled back the bed-sheet, exposing my erection which was covered in a white powder.
"What the hell is that?" she asked.
"Honey, it's aspirin. You can take it orally o...

I prepared the chicken earlier.

I said, "Listen, there's no easy way to say this..."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Max Goldstein has died and his body is being prepared for his funeral

The undertaker is astounded by the size of his penis, so he decides to cut if off, put it in a box, and bring it home to show his wife.

When he gets home he takes out the box, opens it in front of his wife, and says "What do you think of this?"

His wife screams, "Oh my god, Max Golds...

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are all caught by ISIS and are being prepared to be executed by a firing squad.

The red-hed was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, "TORNADO!" All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. He followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed "SANDSTORM!" The gullible ISIS members again ducked for co...

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've bee...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A rich man threw a mansion party

It was of extravagant proportions. Hundreds of guests filled his enormous abode to mingle and drink with glee. During the festivities the rich man gathered everyone to the backyard.

“Come! I have something to show you all! As well as a challenge!”

His curious (also drunk) flock followe...

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I wasn't prepared for all the changes I'd have to make...

...like my name, phone number, job, city where I live...

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied, '...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A jew and a goy are seated together in a train compartment. No one else joins them and as the train gets underway, the goy decides to engage the jew in a conversation.

The goy asks the jew all sorts of questions about his religion. The jew patiently answers them all.
Eventually they take out their pack lunches and continue the conversation. The goy asks:

« Why is it you people are so smart? »

The jew thinks about it for a while and responds:
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving wi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A PETA activist visits a small ranch in Montana

After meeting the farmhands and inspecting the facilities, the activist asks the rancher:

“So, what do you give to the pigs to eat?”

“Well, pigs don’t need much to live. I give them scraps and food from the fridge that is almost spoilt, that sort of thing.”

“That’s a grave viola...

The brave captain

My dad told me this joke a few years ago and I thought it was pretty funny. Not sure if this has been posted before though so sorry if it has!

There once was a brave sailor with a very small crew on a very small ship. One day, while they were fishing, a ship filled with pirates was on the way...

A med school student walks into a bar...

but he was not prepared for it

A man from Maine heads to Florida for a weekend trip.

A man from Maine heads to Florida for a weekend trip. The man’s wife is coming to see him the next day. He checks into a hotel room and opens his laptop. He sends her a brief email to let her know he got to his destination safely. Unfortunately, he makes a typo in the address and the email is sent t...

A very arrogant man walks into a restaurant...

A very arrogant man walks into a restaurant. The waiter approaches him with the menu and the arrogant man exclaims: "You are giving ME a menu?! Please man, I know it all, just bring me a fork from the kitchen."


The waiter quickly goes into the kitchen and comes back with a fork, handing...

A husband and wife decided to go to Florida to escape the snow and cold in Minnesota.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel and sent an email to wife after he arrived. However, he accidental...

The two best racehorses in the country.

There were these two racehorses, Galem and Gollum. They were raised together and had been racing side by side their entire lives. Everyone loved to watch them. They were always faster than the other horses; as a matter of fact, they were the best racehorses in the country.

​
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A plane crashes on an island and three men survive...

After wandering the island for a day, they come across a group of natives. Luckily, one of the natives could speak their language, and offers the survivors a challenge.

"First, search our land and retrieve ten fruit. Return to my hut by sunset tomorrow with the fruit, and be prepared for the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An owl flew into a Kebab place and started dancing.

The customers were amazed and started taking videos.

Every day, it returned, and soon the owl became a tourist attraction.

Visitors from different continents came to see the owl, while the Kebab place prospered.

One day, the owner, a man named John Spon, decided to lock up the o...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man gets drunk at a bar and vomits all over the front of his shirt

He looks up, eyes bleary and bloodshot and says “my wife is gonna kill me, she told me not to drink so much”

The bartender says, “do you have a twenty dollar bill?”

The guy responds, “yeah, but how’s that gonna help me?”

Bartender says “take the twenty, fold it up, put it in you...

The Surgeon’s Operation

A surgeon urgently left for work one morning after hearing that a new patient just came in with 3 tumors. He got there as quickly as he could, despite living roughly half an hour away. He managed to get to work before any of his coworkers that were capable of operating on the new patient could. He r...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A couple were talking after having sex.

“You know, that was a really nice time. You lasted a lot longer than usual babe.” The woman said. “What’s your secret? Can I expect this every night from now on?” She continued.

The man replied “Well, we were sexting earlier so I knew we’d be having an interesting evening, so I might have mas...

On the first day of classes professor asked his students “Do you know what I will be talking about today?”

Surprised by this question, students reply with “no”, so the professor announces that he doesn’t want to speak to students that don’t know what he will be talking about, and immediately walks out of the room.

On the second day of classes he asks the same question again. Embarrassed from the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A married couple goes to dinner

A married couple goes to dinner at a fancy restaurant and are soon escorted to a table for two.

The waiter runs through the specials and then proceeds to take their orders

Waiter: May I take your order ma'am?

Wife: Yes I'll have the chicken please.

Waiter: Fine choice...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A couple comes home to find their kitchen completely bare.

All their fixtures and appliances are missing. Suddenly they hear a knock at the door.

They open the door to find their oven waiting on the porch. It begins to speak, "I have come to life and have cooked you both your favourite meals!"

They let their now-living oven back into the hous...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was a farmer who had two sons.

His wife died as soon as she gave birth to the second son. Because of this, the farmer always blamed his second son for his mother's death. But he did not fail in his responsibilities as a father. The farmer was poor but he worked really hard to get his two sons in grad school. They didn't do well e...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I always have a box of tissues near my computer...

I cum prepared.

I’m really glad I learned geometry instead of taxes.

Now that trapezoid season is coming, I’ll be prepared.

3 drunk men get into a taxi...

3 drunk men get into a taxi. After listening to the instructions from the men, the driver realised that he could scam them easily. So he turned on the engine, revved it a bit and turned it off.

The first one paid, got out and walked away, the second walked out and threw up in the bushes, but...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is lost in the desert...

A man is lost wandering in the desert. After pushing as hard as he could, his horse has died, and he is near to death himself, when along comes a missionary. The missionary, having come extra prepared in case he should come across a poor weary soul, has brought enough food, water, and an extra horse...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Out shopping

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she likes and must have...
The husband says, "No fucking chance , they're too expensive!"
Later on that night in bed, The wife is just falling off to sleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hands on her hips....

The FBI, CIA and KGB go into a forest for a rabbit hunting competition.

They each have 2 days to do it and whoever finds a rabbit the fastest wins. First, the FBI go in. They go in with the latest and greatest rabbit locating equipment, and it’s clear that they have prepared for a while. They come back after two days with a rabbit in hand. Next, the CIA go in. Their equ...

Dan is an aspiring actor who has recently been feelimg down.

He's done audition after countless audition, but has never managed to get a role. One day, as he's looking for another job, about to give up, he gets a call from his manager.

"Hello," Dan says.

"Hey," said Dan's agent, "I just managed to get you cast in a play. It's really last minute,...

A man was out for a hike on a mountain when he's caught in a storm. Afraid of traversing the narrow roads in foul weather, he sought help in the first building he saw - a monastery...

"Of course, you can stay here until the morning. We even have spare rooms you can stay in." said the monk, who answered the door.


The man gratefully accepted the offer and followed the monk to the room. He quickly changed out of his wet clothes and lay in bed, only to notice a muffled ...

The Three Kingdoms

There once was a far off land with a perfectly triangular lake. Surrounding the lake was 3
kingdoms.

The first kingdom was wealthy and was filled with prosperous people, the second kingdom was more humble, but had its fair share of wealth and power. However, the third kingdom was small a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Zeus is offering a seat in his Pantheon for the first person to complete his trials of strength.

An esteemed hero of all men approaches Olympus and thinks hey, why the hell not. If I lose I may be disappointed, but if I win I will join the legendary Gods of the Pantheon!

So he makes his way to Zeus, excited to see what is in store for him in order to prove his worth to the Gods. Along th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Barbara Walters is interviewing Neil Armstrong in 2010 about him being the first man on the moon.

Barbara Walters (BW) says to Neil Armstrong (NA) "It's a great honor to interview you Mr. Armstrong. (NA) replies, "Happy to be here". Then (BW) asks him "As a young journalist hearing you speak those famous words for the first time". "One small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind", "I had to a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is sex?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man was flying to Finland for a vacation.

He packed his bag and went to the airport; as he was going through security, he was asked what he had in his bag.

"Just some clothing, a camera, some hiking gear, and a camp knife."

"Sir," replied the TSA agent, "I need you to step to the back of the line."

The man was going to ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A villager had a small penis and hated it...

One day, he decided he's had enough of his pitiful manhood and goes to see the village elder.

The elder referred him to a shaman living in the center of a village, so he went to see the shaman. When he got there, he told the shaman about his small penis.

The shaman nodded his head, and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It's John the mailman's last day on duty.

John has been a mailman for a very long time and the day has finally come where he will deliver the mail for a one last time.

As per usual he goes to the post office to pick up his bag filled with mail and off he goes on that oh so familiar path one last time.

As he stops by the firs...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Pope and Folgers coffee

Folgers manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.

After receiving the Papal blessing, the Folgers official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Folgers is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our d...

The 'punch' line

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carryin...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pussy Green

A man went to Confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
"Father it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Pussy Green last week."
The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go and say three Hail Mary's.
Another man entered the confessional. "Father, it has ...

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a magnificent cut-gl...

A hippoptamus has brought his dissertation to defend before the doctoral committee.

The first professor picks up the dissertation and leafs through it. "Hm, interesting," she says. "Follow me, if you please." She leads the hippo and the rest of the committee out to her car which they pile into and drive to her house. She takes them to her reading room. She sets the papers down on a...

A professor is teaching Computer Science 101...

A professor is teaching computer science 101 and gets to the topic of recursion, but after reading his prepared notes, one of his students seems particularly perplexed and questions the teacher.

"I don't understand, you said a recursive algorithm one that calls itself?" The student asks.
<...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send three well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress un...

'One day, in ancient Egypt, Bastet went to her temple for a meal, but found that her priests were late.'

'She was quite annoyed, but they had served her well for many years, so when one of her priests arrived, she gave him the opportunity to explain himself.

'"Oh, great Bastet, please show mercy on us, your humble servants! A stranger with a strange god has come and is making demands of the Pha...

A man and his smart aleck child went camping

They set up their tent, and after a long day, they prepared to go to bed

As they lay down on their sleeping bag, the father asked his son: “What do you see?”

The son replied: “I see the big dipper that consists of the seven stars of the Ursa Major, I see the constellation of Cancer, wh...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I thought about quitting masturbating for good.

But, ultimately, I decided to just get a grip. Despite all the ups and downs, I'm just not prepared for anything to get out of hand.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar with a machine gun and bunch of spare boxes.

Guy walks into a bar with a machine gun and bunch of spare boxes fuming with anger. He yells at the top of his lungs "WHO FUCKED MY WIFE?". The entire bar falls silent until a guy in the back yells "You didn't brin..." just to be cut off by the angry guy who yells back "THIS HAS BEEN REPOSTED SO MAN...

Out of office replies

Suggested New Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

*I am currently out at a interview for a decent job and will reply to you if
I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

*I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you!

*You are receiving...

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature.

He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the le...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Mailman Gets an Interesting Christmas Gift

Joe the mailman was on his usual rounds in late December when he came upon the Jones residence, finding to his surprise that Mrs. Jones was standing in the doorway in sexy lingerie beckoning him inside. Not one to question a good thing, Joe followed her inside, where she showed him the night of his ...

The Consultant

A timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he als...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A married couple, recently married fall on hard times...

and are about to be evicted. After much debate, they agree the wife will prostitute to earn the cash they need. That evening, they set up shop on the street below their apartment. The husband wishes her luck and says he'll be across the street in the car watching for her safety. After a short while,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There's this young lady looking for a place to stay.

There's this young lady looking for a place to stay. She doesn't know anyone in town so she's browsing the small ads.

All the rooms for rent are way out of her league. She's just a young student and she doesn't have that kind of money. Finally she sees an advert for a room that she thinks she...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

{Long} The Red Indian chief

just died right before the winter, after ruling for 40 years. His son became the new chief. According to the tradition, to prove his worth as the leader, he has to correctly speculate how cold would be the winter this year. With his guidance, people will gather right amount of wood for the whole win...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A very cold winter!

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter w...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Native American Chief was asked by somebody on his reservation how cold the coming winter will be...

He isn't sure what to say, but to be safe he responds, "It will be very cold. Start collecting firewood to prepare."

Later that week he realizes that he might be wrong with his prediction, so he walks into the city and uses a pay phone to call the local weather station.

He asks them, ...

A boy goes on a vacation.

A boy living in USA with his family decides to take a vacation to his relatives living in Iraq. He decides to bring his dog as well. One day before he was traveling, his dog became ill and he had no choice but to leave him at home with the family. When the boy arrives at his aunt's house in Iraq, he...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Uranus ( long )

Originally from Buck Buchanan 9 i just had to share) let the Uranus jokes come forth.............anyway....

“It's my understanding that the first six probes were recklessly plunged into Uranus at such excessively high speeds these early attempts only produced massively dense clouds of methane...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Good Father John

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister
Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun
had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness
if she could help it, do whatever he told...

THE SIN OF LYING

A minister told his congregation, “Next week, I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my
sermon, I want you to read Mark 17.”
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon,
the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know
how many had...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

It was their wedding night. . .

And the inexperienced couple had never undressed in front of each other. As the new groom slipped off his shoes and socks, his bride couldn't help but notice how terribly deformed his feet were.

"My goodness, Dear, whatever happened to your feet"

"Well, my love, I never mentioned this...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man lost an arm...

A dark humoured joke told to me by an old fellow, so ye have been warned:

A man had lost an arm.
He grew extremely depressed because of this, to the point where he was prepared to kill himself.
The noose was set, but out the window something caught his eye:
A man with no arms, and he...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Priest and the Nun

A priest and a nun were traveling home from visiting a distant parish when a fierce snow storm forced them to stop. Luckily, they happened to be passing an inn, so they decided to stop for the night to wait out the storm.

Naturally (because this is a joke…) the inn had only one room remaining...

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?

One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'


EDIT:I reached r/all, I promised a friend of mine that I would stop calling his mom hot if I reached all.

He sends his regards...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy goes in for an interview at a big company...

The guy has prepared well and he’s crushed all of the behavioral and technical questions. It seems as if he’s going to get the position. Then the interviewer says:

“I just have one last question. What is your greatest weakness?”

The guy responds “My greatest weakness is my honesty.”...

A chef was preparing for his busy Friday night shift…

A chef was preparing for his busy Friday night shift when his coworker called in sick. Friday nights were always busy at the restaurant and he was the only one working the kitchen. He decides to grab one of the busboys to help him cook for the night.

“Alright,” the chef says, “tonight is busy...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A nun goes down to the market...

A nun goes down to the market to buy a fish to prepare for dinner back at the convent. As she approaches the local fisherman's stand, she sees him holding up a massive fish, saying, "I'm selling this big Sunnuvabitch!". The nun, repulsed by such language, chastises the fisherman for saying this. He ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once there was a young shepherd living in the mountains

He lived only with his parents. One day his father gets sick and dies. Not much after that, his mother also gets sick and she also dies. So the young boy remains alone. Although he was a real workaholic he decided to get married so that he would he would have a bit of help.

He goes to the ne...