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Preparations Jokes

A couple who were making wedding preparations die in a traffic accident.

When they arrive at heaven, the man finds an angel and explains the situation, asking if they could arrange a wedding in heaven or not.

-Let me have a look, the angel says.

After a few months, it comes back to the couple and tells them:

-Everything's set, you guys can marry.
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Preparations for parenthood.

Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
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Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.

New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.

To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man tells his Mom he’s gay

A young man decides that the upcoming holiday is a good time to tell his Mom that he's gay. He's in college, making new friends, and will eventually want to bring one of them home to meet the family. He spends the drive home going over the conversation, what he'll say, what she'll say, how he'll ans...

Preparations for a Scottish wedding...

Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.

"Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got everythin'organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the ...rings, the minister, even ma stag night".

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400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City (long)

It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. So, the airline had bungled, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant had an idea.

A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced, 'Ladie...

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