Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds…

They’ve left no tern unstoned…

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Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

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Penis study...

I haven't seen this one in +20 years so here goes..

PENIS STUDY

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $180,000.00 The results of the study concluded that the reaso...

A study of different American’s choice of sport

Now this is profound:

It is very interesting looking over data of different socioeconomic groups in America and the different types of recreation they partake in, and what it means about them as a group.

Poor people tend to play basketball.

Working Class tend to play football<...

Breaking news! A group of ornithologists have recently published a study concerning the primary cause of death among Swallows:

Apparently, they don’t chew their food.

A new study has found that cats cannot transmit the Covid 19 virus to us humans, ...

...but, the study also found, if they could do it to us they would.

I wanted to study nihilism...

but meh, what's the point?

A recent study has shown TSA random searches are in fact random

After hundreds of hours of observation at dozens of airports researchers were able to say with a high degree of confidence that TSA searches are applied randomly. The frequency of brown skinned men entering the line was highly variable and had no discernible pattern.

Harvard study dismisses the effectiveness of click bait marketing.

Wrong again, Harvard.

Hawaii is a veritable island paradise for someone studying Spock's culture

It's a Vulcanology hot spot

(I land chains of jokes like this one, occasionally)

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

There was a study to show the effectiveness of jackhammers.

It was ground-breaking.

I have been studying Russian with my friends and i realized we change b's into v's in the accent

My friends ask me if i still want to study russian and i said "If being russian makes my b's into v's then soviet."
I was shot down by the FBI the next day.

In college, I wanted to study how to do lobotomies.

I thought it was a no-brainer.

A recent scientific study shows that,

Out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94 percent are too lazy to actually read that number.

Imagine studying all of your life to become a philosopher

When you can just look up the definition of a word

I failed my Shakespeare test because I forgot to study and I used the wrong pencil.

I couldn't tell whether it was 2B or not 2B.

They did a study comparing the brains of 17 people with depression and the brains of 18 healthy people

They discovered that on average, the depressed group had one brain less.

New study shows that overweight women...

...live significantly longer than men who mention it.

You shouldn't drink water while studying.

It decreases concentration.

A study shows 90% of people couldn’t distinguish between the epididymis and the perineal membrane

But trust me, there’s a vas deferens between the two

A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic

Because they are more likely to be dead.

If you're going to study art...

...go to Austria, I heard they have the highest success rates in the world these days!

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And old english gentleman is sitting in his study.

Suddenly his buttler crashes in through the door and screams "SIR! We are flooding! There's water everywhere..."

"James! This is most irregular. Please leave and come in again with the dignity that is inherent to English gentlemen!"

The buttler bows himself out and then comes in agai...

So my teacher only gave me a week to study before the test.

So I killed him and got 46 years.

A Pakistani cleric issued a new fatwa that orders you to stay in your homes and study the scriptures.

As expected, they're calling it the *Quran*tine.

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A study was made and 100 women were asked what body wash they prefered. 99% of them replied with:

Get the fuck out of my bathroom you pervert!

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A study just released shows that 84 percent of all people admit to masturbating regularly.

Scientists are very encouraged. The 16 percent rate of lying is the lowest they have ever measured.

Embarrassing Situation

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "...

Mt Vesuvius victim’s brain ‘turned to glass’ says study.

Well at least he's thinking clearly now.

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

My classmate didn't study for our test in mathematics about probability.

"I'll take my chances", he said.

My friend wants to study Dwayne Johnson’s biography and his ancestors....

Is he studying geneaology or geology?

I am 100% behind Christianity and Biblical study being a part of the American education system

This way, we will have a steady production of atheists.

After spending a semester of my engineering degree studying the construction of the channel tunnel.

I can reveal it was dug by a huge boring machine.

Study shows women are turning into good drivers

So if you’re a good driver watch out

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The Excuse

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weeke...

A large study shows that educational achievement and earned income strongly correlated with height.

A study carried out among hundreds of elementary school classes showed the tallest person in the room almost always had the highest income and education level.

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

According to a new study, someone in London gets stabbed every minute...

Poor dude.

Why is it a good thing to study oceanic trade routes?

Because you’ll have a maritime (merry time)!

New study shows that diarrhea is genetic...

It runs in your jeans!

Two university students had a week of exams coming up but decided to party instead.

When they got to their exam they decided to tell the professor their car had broken down the night before due to a flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them they could have another day to study.

That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until th...

A recent scientific study reveals that fertility is hereditary.

If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either

A guy was studying a document.

His wife says, what are you looking at that for?

Nothing he replies.

Well you been looking at our marriage certificate for ages.

He said, I am looking for the expiry date.

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A recent scientific study reveals that women have cleaner minds than men.

This, scientists say is basically due to the fact that they change them every fucking 10 seconds or so.

The worst feeling ever is when you're studying in your room peacefully in full focus mode and a member of your family enter the room and..

wakes you up

I forgot to study for today

Hope i don't fail the drug test

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

This is actually a true story, when I was 17 I had a choice to study in Canada or the USA. I chose Canada because it was less expensive

In retrospect I dodged a bullet, maybe multiple bullets

An Arab student studying in Europe phones his dad

Dad: How's your life going son?

Son: It's going well, Dad.

Dad: Is something wrong? You don't sound happy.

Son: No Dad, everything's fine. Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here

Dad: Son, tell me the truth. I know something's not right.,

So...

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A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.

A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was that they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn't drive for shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timmy just loves clowns. Favourite thing in the world.

He's got clown bed spread, posters in his room, the whole shabang. Totally idolizes them

One day, Timmy sees that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so excited that, when it finally arrived, he camps outside the ticket booth, waitimg to get the best seat in the house. And when he g...

When I enrolled in college, the admissions counselor asked me if I was interested in studying abroad.

I told him I was interested in studying lots of broads.

Timbuktu

The National poetry Contest had come down to semi-finals between a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were both given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”

First to recite his poe...

Why is studying so important in Singapore?

It’s your get out of jail free card

Lord came unto Noah

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
States , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated,
and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
humans."...

A study shows that eating 2oz of concentrated tomato sauce per day can keep a man's sperm count up

If you keep that up, your girlfriend just may get Prego.

A researcher conducted a study on the thoughts and feelings of women after having an abortion.

The findings were not a parent.

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So, my friend bought a cute baby donkey

First, he taught it to walk and run. It grew up to carry anything and still run at great speed. After that, he taught it to be friendly to everyone. It grew up to be a great emotional support animal. He taught it to study and read. It grew up to advance animal consciousness research.

So, afte...

A recent study was conducted to find out why husbands get out of bed at night.

The results found that 5% were getting a snack, 10% percent were going to the toilet and the remaining 85% were going home.

A teenager is trying to decide where to go to college.

He's stuck at a crossroads between three schools - Harvard, Hampden-Sydney, and Alabama. To try and get some guidance, he asks his father,

"Well, what are my chances of getting laid at Harvard?"

"Oh, not good at all," his father says. "They're too focused on studying and working to hav...

Two Amish Women

Two Amish women are out picking potatoes in a field.

The first one holds out one potato in each hand in front of her while studying and balancing them.

The second woman asks her, "What are you doing with those potatoes?"

The first woman responds, "They remind me of my husband'...

An insane Harvard research study just proved that when ants are tripping on LSD, they can't get heartburn.

Apparently it works as an antacid.

A man was studying to be a filmmaker...

Since he was big live music fan, he started hitting up his favorite local bands and offering to do behind-the-scenes documentary sessions as promotional materials. He got a few bites and after shooting a few small acts, his work really took off, developing a reputation for the way he seemed to disap...

Studying waveforms as a dyslexic can be depressing.

When I can't calculat lambda, I just feel sinusoidal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent study says sex burns 3.6 calories a minute...

So that’s why I’m fat.

Saudi Arabian Prince goes to Europe to study.

In a few months he writes a letter to his father:

"Hello, father. My studies proceed well. I like everything here. People are friendly, and student life is abundant. However, one thing worries me very much. Every time I come to school by my Lamborghini, I feel really uncomfortable, because a...

Lawyer’s

An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “...

What is Xenocryptozoology?

Xenocrytpozoology is the study of animals that aliens don't believe in. It's the inverse of Cryptoxenosociology, which is asking Bigfoot if he believes in Aliens.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

I got my job at the secret government facility today.

The workplace is separated to three parts, part "C, X and V".


We were told the V section stored the most dangerous weapons on the planet, so we are not allowed to go near it.


I work at Section X, which is the robot studying section, a whole day of programming is hard, so I chat...

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