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Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. The...

A study found that 97% of people prefer bananas with the skin on.

Without one, it just lacks appeal.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions. The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques,...

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replied with a loud voice: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started looking at the guy; he was pretty embarrassed. After a while the girl walked quietly over to the

guy's table and said: "I study psychology, I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?" The guy then responded with a loud voice: "$1000 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!" All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered "I guess you felt bad for wha...

A new study claims that fertility is hereditary.

If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't have them either.

Don't drink water while studying...

Why?

Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.

Note: My first attempt. Thanks.

My daughter didn't tell me she was studying a math degree

Must have been discreet math

A girl was studying French, and doing very well at it.

One day, she asked her teacher “Do you know anything about Spanish? For I know everything there is to know about French, and I need a new language.”

The teacher responded “What a sudden change! And why would you possibly ask me, your French teacher? This was completely unexpected!”

“No...

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What's it called when someone is studying buttholes?

Analyzing.

Did you hear about my friend from Australia studying abroad in Korea?

I guess you could say he’s my Seoul mate.

A study by Cambridge University shows that 57% of women have used vibrators...

...and 37% of women have new ones while the other 6% use both new and used ones.

Controversial new study in Brazil may have unlocked the key to immortality in frogs

A veterinary surgeon has successfully removed the vocal cords of a green tree frog.

He can no longer croak....

Adam told his mother that he wanted to study political science.

Mrs.May: Why?

Adam: I want to be a politician when I grow up so I can help clean up the mess left behind by the others before me.

Mrs May: That's very exciting. Go upstairs now and start by cleaning your own room.

Why do onions lock their doors when they study?

To make sure they're onionterrupted.

Gonna study hard , get a decent job , give my best at work so that I can buy a house with a

strong ceiling fan I can hang myself on.

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I was studying about human digestion, assimilation and it's product.

It's all shit

(Elder Scrolls) What do Argonian children study in school?

Hist tree

While I was studying in school

I came home very late one day. My mom asked me where was I. I told her that I was at friends place studying. Mom being mom she called 5 friends to confirm if I was saying the truth.

First two said: “he was here studying whole time”

Other two said:”he is here studying in front of me. D...

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Boy: Grandpa, what are you studying .. ???

Grandpa: History, Son.

Boy: Grandpa, why are you lying ? ... This seems to be a book on sex

Grandpa: Son, for me, this is history now.

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds…

They’ve left no tern unstoned…

Which test can you pass without studying?

COVID-19 test.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer

... than the men who mention it.

A New Scientific Study on Vaccines

A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults

I'm currently studying the Ancient Greeks.

I'm sitting in an elderly home at Athens.

I didn't study for my blood test.

Still, I got an "A".

In college, I took a year to study abroad.

It was fun until I got caught...
Apparently it's called "stalking"

Where do college going tweekers go to study at?

The meth club.

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence...

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After studying sexual energy, I decided to try semen retention.

After just one week, my wife had to empty the fridge.

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Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

A study of different American’s choice of sport

Now this is profound:

It is very interesting looking over data of different socioeconomic groups in America and the different types of recreation they partake in, and what it means about them as a group.

Poor people tend to play basketball.

Working Class tend to play football<...

I wanted to study nihilism...

but meh, what's the point?

We’re studying ‘light’ in science class and the teacher asks if she’s clear

“No ma’am, you’re opaque.”

A new study has found that cats cannot transmit the Covid 19 virus to us humans, ...

...but, the study also found, if they could do it to us they would.

A recent study has shown TSA random searches are in fact random

After hundreds of hours of observation at dozens of airports researchers were able to say with a high degree of confidence that TSA searches are applied randomly. The frequency of brown skinned men entering the line was highly variable and had no discernible pattern.

Harvard study dismisses the effectiveness of click bait marketing.

Wrong again, Harvard.

There was a study to show the effectiveness of jackhammers.

It was ground-breaking.

I have been studying Russian with my friends and i realized we change b's into v's in the accent

My friends ask me if i still want to study russian and i said "If being russian makes my b's into v's then soviet."
I was shot down by the FBI the next day.

Hawaii is a veritable island paradise for someone studying Spock's culture

It's a Vulcanology hot spot

(I land chains of jokes like this one, occasionally)

I failed my Shakespeare test because I forgot to study and I used the wrong pencil.

I couldn't tell whether it was 2B or not 2B.

A recent scientific study shows that,

Out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94 percent are too lazy to actually read that number.

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According to a recent study, women with large breasts have greater success in corporate world than

Men with large breasts.

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And old english gentleman is sitting in his study.

Suddenly his buttler crashes in through the door and screams "SIR! We are flooding! There's water everywhere..."

"James! This is most irregular. Please leave and come in again with the dignity that is inherent to English gentlemen!"

The buttler bows himself out and then comes in agai...

A study shows 90% of people couldn’t distinguish between the epididymis and the perineal membrane

But trust me, there’s a vas deferens between the two

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

In college, I wanted to study how to do lobotomies.

I thought it was a no-brainer.

They did a study comparing the brains of 17 people with depression and the brains of 18 healthy people

They discovered that on average, the depressed group had one brain less.

A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic

Because they are more likely to be dead.

Pretty sure it's original, very rough edges type joke. Input welcome.

A man decides to open his own Plant Nursery. After a few months his business starts going under so he goes to apply for a loan
The loan officer goes to the place of business and asks a couple questions
"sir do you have a background in the study of plants?"
"No, I just got this company on a ...

You shouldn't drink water while studying.

It decreases concentration.

Imagine studying all of your life to become a philosopher

When you can just look up the definition of a word

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A study just released shows that 84 percent of all people admit to masturbating regularly.

Scientists are very encouraged. The 16 percent rate of lying is the lowest they have ever measured.

A blonde woman showed up to her doctor’s office looking disheveled and with bags under her eyes

The doctor told her that she looked exhausted.

The blonde woman replied, “I am. Ever since your nurse told me yesterday that I had to come in for a Blood test I have been studying non-stop”

I saw a famous astrobiologist at a conference and asked what in particular he was studying.

He said: “Nothing at the moment, but we’re working on that.”

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A study was made and 100 women were asked what body wash they prefered. 99% of them replied with:

Get the fuck out of my bathroom you pervert!

If school is not a place to sleep

...then home is not a place to study.

A Pakistani cleric issued a new fatwa that orders you to stay in your homes and study the scriptures.

As expected, they're calling it the *Quran*tine.

Since MIT is giving free access to their courses online, I shall study Computer science web programming with Python and Java

as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.

My classmate didn't study for our test in mathematics about probability.

"I'll take my chances", he said.

A blond sits for a medical school entrance exam.

Needless to say, he failed.

These are his answers:

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - the study of painting

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria

Caesarean section - a district in Rome

Cat scan - searching for a lost kitty

Chronic - neck of a crow
...

How do women scare gynecologists?

They study ventriloquism

Study shows women are turning into good drivers

So if you’re a good driver watch out

Mt Vesuvius victim’s brain ‘turned to glass’ says study.

Well at least he's thinking clearly now.

At an international military convention during the Cold War,

various generals from around the world gathered to brag about their accomplishments. An American general stood up and proudly stated, "In the US military, all of our soldiers get 3000 calories a day and we can raise it to 5000 during periods of hard training."

A Soviet general, upon hearing ...

A new study revealed that fencing experts are very popular on social media

It turns out the secret to success is just mastering the repostie.

I am 100% behind Christianity and Biblical study being a part of the American education system

This way, we will have a steady production of atheists.

An original light bulb story

A student, let's call him Kevin, was having an oral exam in philosophy with his professor. Naturally, Kevin didn't study and couldn't answer any of the questions, even the easiest ones. The professor felt pity for him and gave him one last chance:

"Ok Kevin, if you can answer this question y...

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

A large study shows that educational achievement and earned income strongly correlated with height.

A study carried out among hundreds of elementary school classes showed the tallest person in the room almost always had the highest income and education level.

My friend wants to study Dwayne Johnson’s biography and his ancestors....

Is he studying geneaology or geology?

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

After spending a semester of my engineering degree studying the construction of the channel tunnel.

I can reveal it was dug by a huge boring machine.

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John owned a Pizzeria with his buddy Harry.

But John wasn't satisfied with only making pizza every day. He wanted to study and walk a different path in life. So he decided to get back to school.

He told his buddy Harry that he would go see a consultant to talk about which subjects he should study.

The next day he went to meet wi...

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

In a recent study:

Six out of seven dwarves aren't Happy.

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Too Wet

In front of the pearly gates of Heaven was a large group of people waiting to be let in. Satan walks over, examines the crowd for a moment, then pulls out a young woman and leads her to a stairway heading down. He walked back and pulled put a man. After studying him for a moment, Satan guides him to...

According to a new study, someone in London gets stabbed every minute...

Poor dude.

What does the moon do when it needs a haircut?

Eclipse it.




Sorry, my son was studying science and saw this joke. He wanted me to share it. Apparently upping his dad joke skills early.

This is actually a true story, when I was 17 I had a choice to study in Canada or the USA. I chose Canada because it was less expensive

In retrospect I dodged a bullet, maybe multiple bullets

Why is it a good thing to study oceanic trade routes?

Because you’ll have a maritime (merry time)!

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