How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porn stars organize their day

They make to-do lists

What do you call it when robots organize an African themed party?

BotsWanna Party

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted murder

I can at least tell you how Space Force organizes a party

They planet

I organized a threesome last week.

There was a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years.

Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home.

He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!” The interpreter conveys the message in Russian and the acco...

We’ve been trying to organize a Fear of Commitment workshop.

But we just can’t seem to nail down a date.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament.

But good players are hard to find.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

Don't get involved in organized insect crimes.

The mothia is ruthless.

My local store organizes their shampoo aisle like Ajax.

Head and Shoulders above the rest.

My grandma told me this one

A butcher goes to a barber for a haircut. When it’s time to pay, the barber declines, saying “I’m feeling generous today, you don’t need to pay for this one”

The next morning someone knocks on the barber’s door. When he opens, it turns out to be the butcher, carrying some sausages and other m...

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

My hair is always really messy, and I can never get organized.

I asked me friend today ''hey Jess, how do you get your hair like that?'' and she told me it's natural.


I wish that I had Jessie's curl

random pandemic question

According to history class, they organized wild orgies in the Middle Ages after the victory over the Plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.

Heaven and Hell according to Europe

Heaven is a place where,
all the cops are British,
all the chefs are French,
all the engineers are German,
all the parties are organized by the Italians,
and it’s all run by the Swiss

Hell is a place where,
all the cops are German,
all the chefs are British (sorry Gordon...

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 5k organizers were shocked to find out someone spiked all the water jugs with Viagra.

Although it did explain why so many came running today.

This year my wife was struggling for ideas on what to get me for my birthday.

I said that for my birthday, I would like a threesome. I've never had one before, and I would feel like less of a creep if she organized it.

She was surprisingly on-board. She said that she had a friend from college who would probably be up for it.

But I think I ruined the night when ...

The FBI, CIA, and Los Angeles Police get into a bragging war about their tracking skills.

To settle the matter they agree to a contest between their best units. Whoever can track down an elusive white rabbit in a ten thousand acre forest wins the contest.

The FBI organizes a vastly complex operation with dogs, forestry experts, sharpshooters, the works.

The CIA takes sate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We decided to organize an intervention for our friend, who is addicted to taking laxatives.

I said, “This shit needs to stop.”

Nurse: Doctor, I have organized the list of donor's hearts, livers, kidneys in alphabetical order

Doctor: Wow, its very *organ-ized*

Why does organized crime have that common criminals don't?

A con-census.

My town organized a competition yesterday to find out who is the best contortionist.

My friend entered himself and won.

Never ask a felon to organize something numerically

Not unless you're prepared to handle the con sequences.

There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn’t show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...

Turns out he had become shelf aware.

Every year I organize a patient-relative charity event to benefit Alzheimer’s research.

I tell the patients to invite their whole family but nobody ever shows up.

How do they organize a party on Mars?

They planet.

My five year old told me this today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having some areas in pandemic lock down and others not in lock down is like...

trying to organize the pissing section in a swimming pool.

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.


[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

I organized a "Fat Lives Matter" march. We all got very tired...

I can't breathe.

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