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Organize Jokes

How does a librarian organize their music collection?

They use the Dewey Decibel System

Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the cooks are British, the police are ~~German~~ American, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Finnish and a Japanese company decided to organize an annual rowing competition with 8-man teams.

A Finnish and a Japanese company decided to organize an annual rowing competition with 8-man teams. Both teams trained long and hard. When race day came, both teams thought they were in top shape, but the Japanese won by far in the mile.

After the defeat, a defeatist mood prevailed among the ...

I organized a threesome last week.

There were a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

A father wanted to help organize his daughter’s wedding day …

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other jobs he had been given, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different...

I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such

I was involved in very organized crime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Soviet generals wager who has bravest soldiers

Soviet army organizes a large military exercise. Three high-ranking officers - an army general, a navy admiral and an air force commander watch the war games from an observation bunker, drink vodka and argue who has bravest men. They can not reach a conclusion, so the army general calls his troops a...

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament.

But good players are hard to find.

We’ve been trying to organize a Fear of Commitment workshop.

But we just can’t seem to nail down a date.

Why are kidney donors’ houses so messy?

They are disorganized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years.

Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home.

He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!” The interpreter conveys the message in Russian and the acco...

Sometime in the middle ages, a duke sought to overthrow an earl who was his rival

So he sent a group of his soldiers to sack the earl's castle. As word of the soldiers coming spread through the town outside the castle, most people ran or hid. But as the soldiers passed through the market square, they heard a voice calling "wool for cheap, wool for cheap".

The captain of...

What's the first thing in organized ghost does in the morning?

Makes a to boo list

There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn’t show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...

Turns out he had become shelf aware.

How do you organize a trip from the Earth to Mars with your friends?

You planet

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.


[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We decided to organize an intervention for our friend, who is addicted to taking laxatives.

I said, “This shit needs to stop.”

I organized a dozen professional boxers to stand in a row and hit anyone that got near them

That was my best punchline ever

I got a job assisting a fledgling orchestra with their day to day activities and helping to organize upcoming shows...

My official title is Band Aide.

(I thought of this in the shower, so it's definitely not funny)

The Competition - Wishing you a Happy Halloween!

Dracula wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So, he organized a little competition.

The bat which would drink more blood in less time than others would be the winner.

The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes. Its mouth was full of blood.

Dracula was impresse...

How do they organize a party on Mars?

They planet.

My five year old told me this today.

Never ask a felon to organize something numerically

Not unless you're prepared to handle the con sequences.

Every year I organize a patient-relative charity event to benefit Alzheimer’s research.

I tell the patients to invite their whole family but nobody ever shows up.

The government offered to buy my guns from me.

After a thorough background check of the buyer, I am not comfortable with selling weapons to organized crime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mexican, a Spaniard and an American are all travelling in a plane

When suddenly, the plane crashed onto a small island. The three emerged from the crash remains and noticed they're the only survivors.

They quickly organized and started gathering materials to survive when suddenly, a group of native cannibals surrounded them with spears and took them to the...

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

Don't get involved in organized insect crimes.

The mothia is ruthless.

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