How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

What do you call it when robots organize an African themed party?

BotsWanna Party

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porn stars organize their day

They make to-do lists

I organized a threesome last week.

There was a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted murder

I can at least tell you how Space Force organizes a party

They planet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years.

Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home.

He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!” The interpreter conveys the message in Russian and the acco...

We’ve been trying to organize a Fear of Commitment workshop.

But we just can’t seem to nail down a date.

Don't get involved in organized insect crimes.

The mothia is ruthless.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament.

But good players are hard to find.

My local store organizes their shampoo aisle like Ajax.

Head and Shoulders above the rest.

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

My hair is always really messy, and I can never get organized.

I asked me friend today ''hey Jess, how do you get your hair like that?'' and she told me it's natural.


I wish that I had Jessie's curl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

The FBI, CIA, and Los Angeles Police get into a bragging war about their tracking skills.

To settle the matter they agree to a contest between their best units. Whoever can track down an elusive white rabbit in a ten thousand acre forest wins the contest.

The FBI organizes a vastly complex operation with dogs, forestry experts, sharpshooters, the works.

The CIA takes sate...

What do you call an organized alligator?

I don't know, but you better not mess with it!

Nurse: Doctor, I have organized the list of donor's hearts, livers, kidneys in alphabetical order

Doctor: Wow, its very *organ-ized*

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We decided to organize an intervention for our friend, who is addicted to taking laxatives.

I said, “This shit needs to stop.”

Why does organized crime have that common criminals don't?

A con-census.

My town organized a competition yesterday to find out who is the best contortionist.

My friend entered himself and won.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having some areas in pandemic lock down and others not in lock down is like...

trying to organize the pissing section in a swimming pool.

Never ask a felon to organize something numerically

Not unless you're prepared to handle the con sequences.

Every year I organize a patient-relative charity event to benefit Alzheimer’s research.

I tell the patients to invite their whole family but nobody ever shows up.

There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn’t show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...

Turns out he had become shelf aware.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big trip to the mountains with married women and their mothers-in-law was organized. They would go there by separate busses (the women in one bus and the mothers-in-law in another).

During the trip to the mountains, the bus carrying the mothers-in-law had a flat tire. Suddenly the bus driver lost control and the bus fell off the mountain, at least a couple thousand meters downhill. No chance anyone in that bus survived it. Obviously all of the women started cheering up, startin...

Due to travel restrictions this year...

United States had to organize coups at home

I organized a "Fat Lives Matter" march. We all got very tired...

I can't breathe.

Why was a group of lemurs framed for organized crime within seconds?

They were a conspiracy.

In the time of the Holy Roman Empire

There was a chronic shortage of hay with which to feed the Army's horses. So much so that the Emperor issued a mandate that restricted its use, even going as far as cutting in half the width of all brooms.

This became standard use and over time no one questioned it. With the exception of lowl...

How do they organize a party on Mars?

They planet.

My five year old told me this today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

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