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John worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed at the factory for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but John indicated th...

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A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were sitting around talking about how much they hate their lives... [NSFW]

The cucumber said, "man my life sucks the most, whenever i get big, fat, and juicy someone chops me up and throws me in a salad. The pickle speaks up, "man you dont know shit, when i get big, fat, and juicy someone sticks me in vinegar, covers me in spices, and closes me in a jar. The penis has had ...

What's a pickle's favorite game show?

Dill or No Dill,
hosted by Howie Mandill.

A man worked his whole life at the pickle factory. One day he came home and informed his wife that he had been fired from his job.

She was in disbelief and near tears. "20 years of your life you gave them, and this is how they repay you!", she shouted, confused. "What happened, why were you laid off?"

"Well, for 20 years since I've worked there I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer. Call it curiosity if you...

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Rough life

A cucumber, a pickle and a penis are in a heated debate over who's life is more difficult.

The cucumber says "man, I've got it rough...when I get big, fat and juicy, they rip me off the vine, slice me up, put me in a salad and eat me!"

The pickle laughs and says "that's nothing. When I...

What did the pickle do when it won the championship?

He just stood there to relish the moment.

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Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.......

......for many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist.


After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist gave...

My pickle order was totally under-cooked.

It was really a raw dill.

What do you made pickle bread out of?

Dill dough

My new girlfriend has a fetish for being covered in cheese and pickle.

She's a cracker.

Just came back from the state fair and saw the world's smallest pickle

It was no big dill

Whats the difference between a pickle and a chick pea

~~I’ve never had a pickle on my chest before~~
The texture

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A man works at the Branston Pickle factory, and comes home at lunch time one day.

His wife asks, "why are you home so early?"

To which he replies, "I got fired. I got caught putting my willy in the pickle slicer."

The wife thinks this is absolutely obscene and horrible - so she immediately pulls his pants down and whips out his cock. It's fine. She sighs a sigh of r...

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A cucumber, a pickle and a pecker were hangin out together...

they talked, and stumbled upon the topic of their demise.

Cucumber: My end sucks, when I get big, thick and juicy, they slice me up for their salads.

Pickle: wAhWaH. When I get big, thick and juicy, they grind me up into bottles for their burders.

Pecker: That ain't shit! When ...

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A guy works at the pickle factory

After work, at the pub he says to his buddy: Hey you know I keep having this urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer at work.
His buddy is like "you are crazy", "don't do it", "you will regret it".
One day after work, he sees his friends and says, I finally did it.. I put my penis in the p...

How do pickles forgive people?

“It’s not a big dill”

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A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day...

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

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Pickle Slicer

A man who worked at a pickle factory came home to his wife one afternoon and admitted to his wife that he had thoughts of sticking his manhood into the pickle slicer at work. His wife, worried about his well being, suggested he seek sexual counseling.
After weeks of counseling, the husband came ...

What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?

a dilldoe

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The dick inside the pickle slicer! Posted originally by u/delvach on r/Damnthatsinteresting

One dude worked at the pickle factory. He's been there for years and his wife start to notice that he's acting strange around the house. One day she asks him what's wrong. He's hesitant but eventually tells her, "Lately I've been having this really terrible urge to.. stick my penis in the pickle...

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I got fired for sticking my dick in the pickle slicer at work.

She got fired too.

I'm like a jumbo kosher pickle

Guess you could say I'm a pretty big dill.

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Pickle Joke

I actually work in a mortuary and was responsible for training a new shift worker to clean and prepare bodies for embalming. This one particular guy was advanced enough in his training for me to give him a go at working solo while I went back to the office and took care of some paperwork.

Bef...

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

What did the giant pickle say to sound modest?

I’m kind of a big Dill.

The server at the sandwich shop said that every sandwich comes with a free pickle.

I said, “That’s a really good dill.”

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Quite the Pickle

When my grandmother died, as an only child my father had to clean out her place. When he came upon her recipe box, he sat on the floor and went through them slowly. Many had been handed down to her from her mother, my great-grandmother. One by one, he closed his eyes and remembered the simple joy of...

What do you call a pickle when you use it to pleasure yourself?

A dill-do.

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A man is fired from his job at the pickle factory.

He returns home to his wife and tells her the bad news. "What did you do?" She asks. The man sighs and says, "I put my dick in the pickle slicer". Horrified, the woman pulls down his pants to see he penis intact. "What on earth happened to the pickle slicer?" She yells. The man sighs again and says,...

I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles

Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.

What did the cucumber say to the pickle?

Nothing, they can’t talk.

You hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower?

What a daffy dill!

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A penis, a pickle and a cucumber.

A penis, a pickle and a cucumber are sitting at a table all of whom are distraught.

Cucumber: “Man my life sucks. Every time I get big fat and juicy, these humans slice us up, toss us in a salad and eat us”

Pickle: “Man, that’s nothing. When I’m plump and juicy they slice me up, lay m...

I watched a documentary about how pickles are made.

It was jarring.

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A large pickle walks into a bar

A large pickle walks into a bar, sits down, looks at the bartender, and asks for his usual to be put on a tab. Having never seen the large pickle before, the bartender says "Who even are you? Tab priveleges are reserved only for celebrities, well-known people, or dicks that try to get out of paying....

My girlfriend really enjoyed the pickle bread I baked...

I used a dill dough

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Pickle Slicer

A guy comes home from work and tells his wife that he was fired. Wife asks why? Husband says he got caught sticking his dick in the pickle slicer. Wife panicked - asked to look at his penis. Penis looked good, didn't have a cut on it. Puzzled, the wife asks, 'What happened to the pickle slicer?'
...

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A guy walks in on his daughter masturbating with a pickle

"Sick!" he says. "I was going to eat that. Now it's going to taste like pickle."

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Husband comes home after getting fired from the pickle factory...

his wife asks, what the hell happened?! He says "I got caught sticking my dick in the pickle slicer." "Dear lord!" she declares. "Are you OK?" "Yea, I'm totally fine." he says. "Was the pickle slicer turned on?" she says, to which the husband replied "Yea, she loved it."

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

Have I ever told you about the Monk living on the hill and the tiny pickle in a jar?

Once upon a time there was a Monk who lived on a hill. He lived a simple life and was quite content, nothing out of the ordinary ever seemed to happen in his life. However, one day as he was settling down to watch his favourite shows with a mug of hot cocoa, he saw on the weather channel that a horr...

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So, this guy works at a pickle factory...

...and one day when he comes home from work, his wife can immediately tell something is wrong. "What's the matter?" she asks. "Well," says the husband, "Lately, at work, I've been having bad thoughts... really bad. I feel compelled to stick my dick in the pickle slicer." "That's horrible!" shouts hi...

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A man working for a pickle company came home one day very distraught and upset...

"What's wrong baby?" His wife asked.

"I don't know, all day today I was thinking about putting my penis in the pickle slicer for some reason." He said.

"Oh my God. Why?"

"Not sure babe, but it was all I could think about." He replied.

"Jesus, that's messed up. You think...

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A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

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A man worked at a pickle processing plant and came home one day...

A man worked at a pickle processing plant and came home one day and told his wife, "I have this really strong urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer."

His wife was aghast and told him, "Honey, that would be horrible, just resist the temptation."

This goes on for some time, with the ...

In my Horticulture class we were supposed to grow cucumbers, but I didn't pay attention to the lessons.

You could say I was in a pickle.

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A banana, a pickle, and a penis are sitting in a bar...

They are all bullshitting about their lives and how bad they each have it.

The banana pipes up and says "Man, my life really sucks. Ya know, when I get big, ripe, and juicy they take me, slice me up, and throw me on an ice cold ice cream sundae."

The pickle says "Ha! That's a laugh! I...

What do you call a slice of a pickle that's not an edge slice?

A mid-dill slice

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The pickle slicer

There was a married couple, wife was a stay at home mom and husband worked at a pickle factory.

The usual day, wake up in morning and wife cooks breakfast. They eat, then husband goes to work. At the end of the day husband comes home and wife asks

Wife: Hows was your day?

Husban...

Why do terrorists eat baby dill pickles?

They want to kill the infant dills!

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A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis at bar...

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored ...

Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar?

Because the door was ajar!

Pat worked at a pickle factory.

Pat worked at a pickle factory, and Mike would always bet him that he wouldn't put his pecker into the pickle slicer. He would always decline and recuse to do it. One day, after ten years of hearing it every day, he finally took Mike up on his bet.
Later that day, Pat arrived home early and...

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The cucumber, the pickle and the penis...

After a long, difficult day, a cucumber, a pickle and a penis are all sitting at a bar and talking about all the reasons life sucks. The cucumber goes first.
"I know I've got it the worst; when I get big and juicy, they slice me up and put me on a bed of leaves or drown me in water, it's terrible...

A baseball player got caught in a pickle yesterday...

I heard it was a really big dill.

What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle?

Ron Burgundy.


Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.

Pickle joke

I was walking down the street eating my tiny pickle.

And someone bumped into me, knocking it out of my hand.

He apologized and I told him "it's not a big dill."

Thank you:)

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pickle slicer

a man was laying in bed next to his wife. he turns to her and says "honey, recently at work ive had an uncontrollable urge to stick my penis in the pickle slicer". the wife was shocked and promised to make an appointment the next day with a shrink. the husband comes home the next day and says "sorry...

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A man and a pickle slicer

A man works at a factory. One day, he goes to see his doctor.
"Listen Doc, I have to be honest. Recently I've been wanting to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work."
The Doctor, shocked, says "Wh-Why? No, don't do that!"
"But it's just so tempting."
"Listen, just get some rest, go t...

The pickle joke

A guy who is not very well endowed, unfortunately, is getting married in a few days and he's really sweating the wedding night: will she laugh? Walk out?
So the big night arrives and he's in the bathroom freaking out. He absolutely can't show her this thing. So he ends up sneaking a pickle into ...

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My favorite jokes.

1.
A hippie walks into a bus and sees a very sexy nun. He walks up to her and says, "Hey there, wanna have sex?" The nun is grossed out and walks out of the bus. As the hippie is about to leave the bus driver calls him over an tells him, "Dude i saw you hitting on the nun. Well just to let you kn...

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