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His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day and confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but...

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Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.......

......for many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist.


After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist gave...

How do you make pickle bread?

You use dill dough

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A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were sitting around talking about how much they hate their lives... [NSFW]

The cucumber said, "man my life sucks the most, whenever i get big, fat, and juicy someone chops me up and throws me in a salad. The pickle speaks up, "man you dont know shit, when i get big, fat, and juicy someone sticks me in vinegar, covers me in spices, and closes me in a jar. The penis has had ...

How do pickles forgive people?

“It’s not a big dill”

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A man works at the Branston Pickle factory, and comes home at lunch time one day.

His wife asks, "why are you home so early?"

To which he replies, "I got fired. I got caught putting my willy in the pickle slicer."

The wife thinks this is absolutely obscene and horrible - so she immediately pulls his pants down and whips out his cock. It's fine. She sighs a sigh of r...

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A pickle, a penis, and a cucumber.

A Pickle, a Penis, and a Cucumber were all hanging out moping one stormy night.

The Cucumber says, "Guys, my life just fucking sucks!" The others look at him and say, "What do you mean Cucumber?" He replies, "When I grow up big and fat, someone is going to chop me into slices, throw me on a s...

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unemployed

Guy works in the pickle factory, comes home after work and tells his wife, "Bad news, honey. I've been fired".

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Well, I've always wanted to put my penis in the pickle slicer and, well, today I finally did it."

"My god, no! Are you okay?"

"Yeah,...

Whats the difference between a pickle and a chick pea

~~I’ve never had a pickle on my chest before~~
The texture

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The dick inside the pickle slicer! Posted originally by u/delvach on r/Damnthatsinteresting

One dude worked at the pickle factory. He's been there for years and his wife start to notice that he's acting strange around the house. One day she asks him what's wrong. He's hesitant but eventually tells her, "Lately I've been having this really terrible urge to.. stick my penis in the pickle...

I'm like a jumbo kosher pickle

Guess you could say I'm a pretty big dill.

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Pickle Joke

I actually work in a mortuary and was responsible for training a new shift worker to clean and prepare bodies for embalming. This one particular guy was advanced enough in his training for me to give him a go at working solo while I went back to the office and took care of some paperwork.

Bef...

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Pickle Slicer

A man who worked at a pickle factory came home to his wife one afternoon and admitted to his wife that he had thoughts of sticking his manhood into the pickle slicer at work. His wife, worried about his well being, suggested he seek sexual counseling.
After weeks of counseling, the husband came ...

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?

a dilldoe

Have you heard about my pickle?

It's kind of a big dill.

What did the giant pickle say to sound modest?

I’m kind of a big Dill.

What do you call a pickle when you use it to pleasure yourself?

A dill-do.

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A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

The server at the sandwich shop said that every sandwich comes with a free pickle.

I said, “That’s a really good dill.”

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Quite the Pickle

When my grandmother died, as an only child my father had to clean out her place. When he came upon her recipe box, he sat on the floor and went through them slowly. Many had been handed down to her from her mother, my great-grandmother. One by one, he closed his eyes and remembered the simple joy of...

You hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower?

What a daffy dill!

What do you call a female pickle?

A dill-doe

I have a friend who worked at a pickle factory

He got fired for putting his finger in the pickle slicer...

She got fired too.

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A man is fired from his job at the pickle factory.

He returns home to his wife and tells her the bad news. "What did you do?" She asks. The man sighs and says, "I put my dick in the pickle slicer". Horrified, the woman pulls down his pants to see he penis intact. "What on earth happened to the pickle slicer?" She yells. The man sighs again and says,...

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A penis, a pickle and a cucumber.

A penis, a pickle and a cucumber are sitting at a table all of whom are distraught.

Cucumber: “Man my life sucks. Every time I get big fat and juicy, these humans slice us up, toss us in a salad and eat us”

Pickle: “Man, that’s nothing. When I’m plump and juicy they slice me up, lay m...

I watched a documentary about how pickles are made.

It was jarring.

Did you hear about the world's largest pickle?

It's a really big dill!

I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles

Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

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A large pickle walks into a bar

A large pickle walks into a bar, sits down, looks at the bartender, and asks for his usual to be put on a tab. Having never seen the large pickle before, the bartender says "Who even are you? Tab priveleges are reserved only for celebrities, well-known people, or dicks that try to get out of paying....

A giant pickle walks into a bar..

and everyone in the bar starts wanting to take selfies with him and buy him drinks. Once all the commotion settles, the bartender asks him why everyone was surrounding him to which the pickle replies, "Well, I'm kind of a big dill"

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A guy who married this woman. Unfortunately, his dick was too small,

so every time they had sex he used a pickle instead of his dick. For seven year's he has been doing that.

One night his wife suspect that something is wrong so while they are having sex she quickly threw the cover and turned on the lights! So the woman said, "What the hell is that, are you u...

In my Horticulture class we were supposed to grow cucumbers, but I didn't pay attention to the lessons.

You could say I was in a pickle.

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A guy walks in on his daughter masturbating with a pickle

"Sick!" he says. "I was going to eat that. Now it's going to taste like pickle."

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Pickle Slicer

A guy comes home from work and tells his wife that he was fired. Wife asks why? Husband says he got caught sticking his dick in the pickle slicer. Wife panicked - asked to look at his penis. Penis looked good, didn't have a cut on it. Puzzled, the wife asks, 'What happened to the pickle slicer?'
...

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A man working for a pickle company came home one day very distraught and upset...

"What's wrong baby?" His wife asked.

"I don't know, all day today I was thinking about putting my penis in the pickle slicer for some reason." He said.

"Oh my God. Why?"

"Not sure babe, but it was all I could think about." He replied.

"Jesus, that's messed up. You think...

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So, this guy works at a pickle factory...

...and one day when he comes home from work, his wife can immediately tell something is wrong. "What's the matter?" she asks. "Well," says the husband, "Lately, at work, I've been having bad thoughts... really bad. I feel compelled to stick my dick in the pickle slicer." "That's horrible!" shouts hi...

What is a pickle's favorite game show?

Dill or No Dill

Why do terrorists eat baby dill pickles?

They want to kill the infant dills!

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A banana, a pickle, and a penis are sitting in a bar...

They are all bullshitting about their lives and how bad they each have it.

The banana pipes up and says "Man, my life really sucks. Ya know, when I get big, ripe, and juicy they take me, slice me up, and throw me on an ice cold ice cream sundae."

The pickle says "Ha! That's a laugh! I...

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A man worked at a pickle processing plant and came home one day...

A man worked at a pickle processing plant and came home one day and told his wife, "I have this really strong urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer."

His wife was aghast and told him, "Honey, that would be horrible, just resist the temptation."

This goes on for some time, with the ...

A baseball player got caught in a pickle yesterday...

I heard it was a really big dill.

Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar?

Because the door was ajar!

Have I ever told you about the Monk living on the hill and the tiny pickle in a jar?

Once upon a time there was a Monk who lived on a hill. He lived a simple life and was quite content, nothing out of the ordinary ever seemed to happen in his life. However, one day as he was settling down to watch his favourite shows with a mug of hot cocoa, he saw on the weather channel that a horr...

What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle?

Ron Burgundy.


Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.

Pickle joke

I was walking down the street eating my tiny pickle.

And someone bumped into me, knocking it out of my hand.

He apologized and I told him "it's not a big dill."

Thank you:)

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The pickle slicer

There was a married couple, wife was a stay at home mom and husband worked at a pickle factory.

The usual day, wake up in morning and wife cooks breakfast. They eat, then husband goes to work. At the end of the day husband comes home and wife asks

Wife: Hows was your day?

Husban...

Pat worked at a pickle factory.

Pat worked at a pickle factory, and Mike would always bet him that he wouldn't put his pecker into the pickle slicer. He would always decline and recuse to do it. One day, after ten years of hearing it every day, he finally took Mike up on his bet.
Later that day, Pat arrived home early and...

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A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis at bar...

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored ...

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The cucumber, the pickle and the penis...

After a long, difficult day, a cucumber, a pickle and a penis are all sitting at a bar and talking about all the reasons life sucks. The cucumber goes first.
"I know I've got it the worst; when I get big and juicy, they slice me up and put me on a bed of leaves or drown me in water, it's terrible...

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A man and a pickle slicer

A man works at a factory. One day, he goes to see his doctor.
"Listen Doc, I have to be honest. Recently I've been wanting to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work."
The Doctor, shocked, says "Wh-Why? No, don't do that!"
"But it's just so tempting."
"Listen, just get some rest, go t...

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pickle slicer

a man was laying in bed next to his wife. he turns to her and says "honey, recently at work ive had an uncontrollable urge to stick my penis in the pickle slicer". the wife was shocked and promised to make an appointment the next day with a shrink. the husband comes home the next day and says "sorry...

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My favorite jokes.

1.
A hippie walks into a bus and sees a very sexy nun. He walks up to her and says, "Hey there, wanna have sex?" The nun is grossed out and walks out of the bus. As the hippie is about to leave the bus driver calls him over an tells him, "Dude i saw you hitting on the nun. Well just to let you kn...

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Jimmy goes to see a dominatrix...

Jimmy goes to see a dominatrix that all his buddies keep recommending.

He nervously tells her, "All my friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything else. What is it exactly?"

She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you naked a...

Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons?

They're made out of dill dough.

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[NSFW] A pickle, a cucumber and a penis are having a discussion...

The cucumber says "I have it bad, when I get big and strong I get cut up into little pieces and put in salads." The pickle says "I have it worse, I start out as a cucumber and when I get big and strong I'm put into a jar of vinegar for ages then cut up and put in sandwiches." The penis says "I have ...

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Who here likes pickles?

A friend of mine was once employed in a pickle factory. One day, out of nowhere, he expressed a strong urge to stick his dick into the factory's pickle slicer. After a long, hard battle of will and self control, he comes home early one day to tell his wife the bad news: "I got fired for sticking my ...

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Pickle slicer

A guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory, and his wife can tell he's got something on his mind. She sits him down and says, "Honey, you seem upset and not yourself. Is there something wrong at work? You can talk to me."
He lets out a long sigh, and says, "This is hard for me to say, an...

I keep having hallucinations of pickles.

My therapist says I'm dillusional.

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A mortician meets up with his friends at the bar after his shift.

Mortician: Today I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, he said. She came in without a mark on her body, she had the most amazing pair breasts, she had a perfect fit body and her clitoris, her clitoris was like a pickle!

That big!? One of the friends burst out.

Mortician: No,...

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I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work

She only got docked a week's pay

I think my wife is going to bake me some pickle bread!

She just got home with a big box and said she would surprise me tonight with her new dill dough.