What's the difference between jam and jelly?

There's no such thing as a jamfish.

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I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It's jam packed.

The vegetarian did not like the new strawberry jelly...

It just wasn’t his jam

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What do you call it when you catch peanut butter and jelly having sex but they find out that they're cousins?

Inbread.

I once met a girl who had confused Krazy Glue for KY Jelly.

I asked her how she did it, but sadly, her lips were sealed.

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the KY Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

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I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam.

His new nurse, Evelyn , took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat
until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a ...

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Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

You can’t jelly you dick in your wife’s ass

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What is the difference between jam and jelly?

Jam is made from whole or cut up pieces of fruit with sugar.

Jelly is made from only the fruit juice and sugar.

Did you think I was going to say "I can't Jelly my dick up your ass"?

Why wouldn't the jelly come out of the jar?

It was jammed.

What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

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Why should you ask an anti-masker to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Because they are a super spreader!

I walked into a cake shop in Glasgow…

…and there it was, the finest pastry case filled with a glorious yellow jelly and topped with the fluffiest beaten egg white. I didn't know what it was so I asked, "Is that a lemon tart or a meringue?"

"Aye, it is a lemon tart." The shopkeeper replied, "yer no wrang."

Why did the jelly roll?

Because it saw the apple turnover!

I've been told green beans are good for you

But how can they be better than the other jelly bean colors?

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Took my wife on our Honeymoon to Australia

so we went swimming in the sea and then all of a sudden she got stung by a jelly fish on her vagina.

I rang up an Aussie doctor and told him of our predicament, that we were on our honeymoon and her VJ had swollen shut.

he replied 'ahh, bummer mate'

I wasn't sure how that was g...

2 kids in a hospital outside the operating room.

1st kid asks "What are you in here for?"

2nd kid says "Getting my tonsils out, I'm a little nervous."

1st kid says "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, when you wake up they give you Jelly & ice cream. It's a breeze."

2n...

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An American guy, visiting China, sees a Chinese guy eating biscuits and jelly at a cafe and decides to have a little fun with him.

He pops a stick of gum into his mouth and sits next to the Chinese guy.

As he's chewing it, he casually says to the Chinese guy, "Are those biscuits you're eating? Well in America, we eat our bread without the crust, compact the crust into biscuits and sell it to China." The Chinese guy deci...

How does an old timey 1930s era gangster threaten a jelly fish?

"You're see, through!"

Why did the guy throw jelly into the street?

He wanted to create a traffic jam.



(yes I know that they are different substances)

I hear they make good jelly in Kentucky

KY jelly.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

My office printer doesn't jelly every time I try to print :(

Why'd the jelly cross the road?

to create a traffic jam

Why did the ants wait until the bear's favourite song came on before stealing his jelly?

Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"

Why was the mint jelly so nervous?

Because it was always on the lamb.

What’s the worst jelly to put on your sandwich?

Traffic Jam

**My daughter read me this from her Gogurt wrapper. My answer was Toe Jam.

Jelly Doughnut

A newly wedded couple were on their honeymoon and were getting busy. They finish and the husband takes the condom off and accidentally throws it out the window.

The wife says “You can’t leave that out there. Go get it.”

So the husband gets dressed and runs outside. He sees a little b...

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Difference between Jam and Jelly

My girlfriend who lives up north, just asked me, “what’s the difference between Jam and Jelly?”
I said well Andrea, for one I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!

n Indian is calmly having breakfast... An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.

The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat :

The American asks :'Do you eat the bread entirely?'

The Indian answers,'Of course!'

American : 'We do not .We only eat the inner part. The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to Indian...

Two computer nerds start arguing about if they have to pronounce it gif or jif.

The argument gets extremely heated and it goes on for hours.

In the end they just decide to have the sandwich with just the jelly.

What is the most envious fish?

The jelly-fish

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So a guy and his gf are making out

and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.

After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.

“Oh sh...

I walked up to a girl and said, "Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."

"Erm...what?" she asked.

I said, "I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."

How can a Pb & Jelly sandwich make you sick even though you don't have a peanut allergy?

Lead poisoning

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead... (Long)

A blonde, brunette, and redhead construction workers are sitting and eating their lunches. Upon opening their lunchboxes, each sighs.

"Ham and cheese again?" Says the brunette "if I have to eat one more ham and cheese sandwich, I'll kill myself!"

"Turkey again?" Says the redhead "if ...

What was the first thought of the person who created jam/jelly?

I need to preserve my legacy

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A man and his husband...

Were talking one evening over dinner when the more effeminate one expressed he was feeling a bit down in the dumps. The husband enquired as to what was happening...

Twink: “Well, I’m not feeling very ‘manly’ lately”.

Bear: “Oh hun, you are you and I love you, but why?”

Twink: si...

3 kids walk into a candy store

The first kid says "I'll have $1 worth of jelly beans, sir!" The jelly beans are on a shelf, so the candy store owner has to get a ladder out, get the jelly beans, weigh out $1 worth, put the beans back on the shelf, climb down the ladder, put it away, and give the kid the jelly beans. "There's your...

How do you make apple jelly?

google maps.

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Peanut butter and Jelly flavoured apples

A man is walking by a fruit stand and sees a sign for "Peanut Butter and Jelly flavoured Apples" so out of curiosity he asks the fruit vendor for a sample.

The man bites in to the Apple.

"Wow that tastes just like peanut butter, but you said it tastes like peanut butter AND jelly."...

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My wife asked me what was the difference between jam and jelly

I told her I can't really jelly my dick in her mouth.

Oh, so there's no real difference, she replied.

Did you hear about the newlyweds who didn't know the difference between putty and petroleum jelly?

Their windows fell out.

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Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter & jelly

Never mind I'm afraid you'll spread it

I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould....

I think I've set a dangerous president.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly?

Jam is made from crushed, pureed fruit and Jelly is made from fruit juice that gels when cooked.

What'd you think I was gonna say? Get your head out of the gutter.

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What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI?

Pb and j

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NSFW Know the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick down your throat.

Thanks to my first boss Jim for this one who I'm sure heard it somewhere else like the family guy episode

A Response To The Stupid "What's The Difference Between Jam And Jelly Joke" Reposted Every Second Day

Your mama must have fed you jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that.

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!

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What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Jelly is made by filtering out the fruit pulp after the initial heating, whereas jam contains the small pieces of chopped up fruit.

I'm tired of seeing "I can't jelly my dick up your butt", so I wanted to give the correct answer.

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