UPJOKE
jellifygelatincustardmoussedessertpreserveconservejarflavorjammarmaladecookiepiecoldapple jelly

Jelly Jokes

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Santa doesn't jelly himself down the chimney on Christmas Eve.

Why wouldn't the jelly come out of the jar?

It was jammed.

Have you heard of Y2K jelly?

It allows you to insert four digits into your date where you could previously only fit two.

What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peanut butter and jelly don't love each other...

but I always find them in bread together.

3 kids walk into a candy store

The first kid says "I'll have $1 worth of jelly beans, sir!" The jelly beans are on a shelf, so the candy store owner has to get a ladder out, get the jelly beans, weigh out $1 worth, put the beans back on the shelf, climb down the ladder, put it away, and give the kid the jelly beans. "There's your...

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the KY Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy and his gf are making out

and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.

After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.

“Oh sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Peanut butter not open the door for the Jelly?...

Because it was already ajar.

(Sorry, I'm a dad.)

What did the cupcake say at the jelly donut party?

Where all the holes at?!

The vegetarian did not like the new strawberry jelly...

It just wasn’t his jam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's in the middle of a jelly fish?

His jelly button

I knew a girl who mixed up KY Jelly and superglue

I asked her how it happened but her lips were sealed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between jam and jelly?

Jam is made from whole or cut up pieces of fruit with sugar.

Jelly is made from only the fruit juice and sugar.

Did you think I was going to say "I can't Jelly my dick up your ass"?

Jelly Doughnut

A newly wedded couple were on their honeymoon and were getting busy. They finish and the husband takes the condom off and accidentally throws it out the window.

The wife says “You can’t leave that out there. Go get it.”

So the husband gets dressed and runs outside. He sees a little b...

What can jelly beans do that you can't?

Come in different colors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peanut butter and Jelly flavoured apples

A man is walking by a fruit stand and sees a sign for "Peanut Butter and Jelly flavoured Apples" so out of curiosity he asks the fruit vendor for a sample.

The man bites in to the Apple.

"Wow that tastes just like peanut butter, but you said it tastes like peanut butter AND jelly."...

Why did the jelly roll?

Because it saw the apple turnover!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Difference between Jam and Jelly

My girlfriend who lives up north, just asked me, “what’s the difference between Jam and Jelly?”
I said well Andrea, for one I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It's jam packed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

I didn’t jelly my dick in your mom’s ass last night.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

Senate Republicans can't jelly Judge Barrett onto the Supreme Court.

Why'd the jelly cross the road?

to create a traffic jam

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

My office printer doesn't jelly every time I try to print :(

How do you make apple jelly?

google maps.

What’s the worst jelly to put on your sandwich?

Traffic Jam

**My daughter read me this from her Gogurt wrapper. My answer was Toe Jam.

I hear they make good jelly in Kentucky

KY jelly.

Why did the jelly cross the road?

He wanted to create a traffic jam.



I am aware that these are 2 different substances

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A country drive

A cultured Manhattanite goes on a weekend motor excursion into the countryside. He spies a sign nailed to a tree: "APPLES $25 A BUSHEL".

Shocked by this exorbitant price he decides to investigate.

Farmer: "Why, these here are peanut butter and jelly apples. Taste just like peanut but...

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly?

Jam is made from crushed, pureed fruit and Jelly is made from fruit juice that gels when cooked.

What'd you think I was gonna say? Get your head out of the gutter.

How does an old timey 1930s era gangster threaten a jelly fish?

"You're see, through!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you catch peanut butter and jelly having sex but they find out that they're cousins?

Inbread.

Candy shop

Three boys walk into a candy shop and walk up to the counter. "What can I get you boys?" The shopkeep asks the first boy. "I'd like a dime's worth of jelly beans!" Well, it just so happened that the jellybeans were at the top shelf! So the shopkeeper got out his ladder, climbed up, got the jellybean...

Why did the ants wait until the bear's favourite song came on before stealing his jelly?

Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apples

A guy is driving down a winding country road when he see's a sign.

The Sign says "Apples $10/Each"

The guy thinks "Wow, that's expensive, let me see why they cost $10"

He drives into the stand and asks the Farmer "Why are your Apples $10?"

The Farmer says "Well, my Apple...

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!

A boy ate a Pb and jelly sandwich

And then died

What was the first thought of the person who created jam/jelly?

I need to preserve my legacy

I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould....

I think I've set a dangerous president.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you ask an anti-masker to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Because they are a super spreader!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Know the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick down your throat.

Thanks to my first boss Jim for this one who I'm sure heard it somewhere else like the family guy episode

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife asked me what was the difference between jam and jelly

I told her I can't really jelly my dick in her mouth.

Oh, so there's no real difference, she replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Jelly is made by filtering out the fruit pulp after the initial heating, whereas jam contains the small pieces of chopped up fruit.

I'm tired of seeing "I can't jelly my dick up your butt", so I wanted to give the correct answer.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.