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I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It's jam packed.

The vegetarian did not like the new strawberry jelly...

It just wasn’t his jam

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What do you call it when you catch peanut butter and jelly having sex but they find out that they're cousins?

Inbread.

I once met a girl who had confused Krazy Glue for KY Jelly.

I asked her how she did it, but sadly, her lips were sealed.

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the KY Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

n Indian is calmly having breakfast... An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.

The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat :

The American asks :'Do you eat the bread entirely?'

The Indian answers,'Of course!'

American : 'We do not .We only eat the inner part. The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to Indian...

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Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

You can’t jelly you dick in your wife’s ass

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What is the difference between jam and jelly?

Jam is made from whole or cut up pieces of fruit with sugar.

Jelly is made from only the fruit juice and sugar.

Did you think I was going to say "I can't Jelly my dick up your ass"?

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Why should you ask an anti-masker to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Because they are a super spreader!

What is the most envious fish?

The jelly-fish

Why wouldn't the jelly come out of the jar?

It was jammed.

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An American guy, visiting China, sees a Chinese guy eating biscuits and jelly at a cafe and decides to have a little fun with him.

He pops a stick of gum into his mouth and sits next to the Chinese guy.

As he's chewing it, he casually says to the Chinese guy, "Are those biscuits you're eating? Well in America, we eat our bread without the crust, compact the crust into biscuits and sell it to China." The Chinese guy deci...

What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

Why did the guy throw jelly into the street?

He wanted to create a traffic jam.



(yes I know that they are different substances)

I hear they make good jelly in Kentucky

KY jelly.

Why did the jelly roll?

Because it saw the apple turnover!

Two computer nerds start arguing about if they have to pronounce it gif or jif.

The argument gets extremely heated and it goes on for hours.

In the end they just decide to have the sandwich with just the jelly.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

My office printer doesn't jelly every time I try to print :(

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead... (Long)

A blonde, brunette, and redhead construction workers are sitting and eating their lunches. Upon opening their lunchboxes, each sighs.

"Ham and cheese again?" Says the brunette "if I have to eat one more ham and cheese sandwich, I'll kill myself!"

"Turkey again?" Says the redhead "if ...

How does an old timey 1930s era gangster threaten a jelly fish?

"You're see, through!"

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A man and his husband...

Were talking one evening over dinner when the more effeminate one expressed he was feeling a bit down in the dumps. The husband enquired as to what was happening...

Twink: “Well, I’m not feeling very ‘manly’ lately”.

Bear: “Oh hun, you are you and I love you, but why?”

Twink: si...

Why was the mint jelly so nervous?

Because it was always on the lamb.

Jelly Doughnut

A newly wedded couple were on their honeymoon and were getting busy. They finish and the husband takes the condom off and accidentally throws it out the window.

The wife says “You can’t leave that out there. Go get it.”

So the husband gets dressed and runs outside. He sees a little b...

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Difference between Jam and Jelly

My girlfriend who lives up north, just asked me, “what’s the difference between Jam and Jelly?”
I said well Andrea, for one I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!

Why'd the jelly cross the road?

to create a traffic jam

Why did the ants wait until the bear's favourite song came on before stealing his jelly?

Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"

What’s the worst jelly to put on your sandwich?

Traffic Jam

**My daughter read me this from her Gogurt wrapper. My answer was Toe Jam.

What can jelly beans do that you can't?

Come in different colors.

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So a guy and his gf are making out

and the girl tells the guy she really wants to do 69. The guy agrees but remembers his girl is on her period so he declines. The Gf begs and he finally agrees, thinking a little bit of blood can’t be too bad.

After they get going and are having a good time, the doorbell rings.

“Oh sh...

3 kids walk into a candy store

The first kid says "I'll have $1 worth of jelly beans, sir!" The jelly beans are on a shelf, so the candy store owner has to get a ladder out, get the jelly beans, weigh out $1 worth, put the beans back on the shelf, climb down the ladder, put it away, and give the kid the jelly beans. "There's your...

I walked up to a girl and said, "Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."

"Erm...what?" she asked.

I said, "I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."

“Just put the jelly in the refrigerator” my mom yelled

“There’s not enough room” I responded as I tried to jam it in

How can a Pb & Jelly sandwich make you sick even though you don't have a peanut allergy?

Lead poisoning

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Peanut butter and Jelly flavoured apples

A man is walking by a fruit stand and sees a sign for "Peanut Butter and Jelly flavoured Apples" so out of curiosity he asks the fruit vendor for a sample.

The man bites in to the Apple.

"Wow that tastes just like peanut butter, but you said it tastes like peanut butter AND jelly."...

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My wife asked me what was the difference between jam and jelly

I told her I can't really jelly my dick in her mouth.

Oh, so there's no real difference, she replied.

What was the first thought of the person who created jam/jelly?

I need to preserve my legacy

How do you make apple jelly?

google maps.

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Three young boys wander into a pharmacy...

The first one: "I wanna have the pink sweets with the jelly filling for 10p"

The old pharmacist pulls out a ladder and climbs the shelf to the top, opens the glass of candy and takes out 6 goodys, climbes down, packs them and hands them to the boy.

"So what do you want?" he asks the se...

I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould....

I think I've set a dangerous president.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly?

Jam is made from crushed, pureed fruit and Jelly is made from fruit juice that gels when cooked.

What'd you think I was gonna say? Get your head out of the gutter.

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What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI?

Pb and j

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I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced

Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly ...

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NSFW Know the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my dick down your throat.

Thanks to my first boss Jim for this one who I'm sure heard it somewhere else like the family guy episode

Did you hear about the newlyweds who didn't know the difference between putty and petroleum jelly?

Their windows fell out.

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Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter & jelly

Never mind I'm afraid you'll spread it

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!

A Response To The Stupid "What's The Difference Between Jam And Jelly Joke" Reposted Every Second Day

Your mama must have fed you jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Jelly is made by filtering out the fruit pulp after the initial heating, whereas jam contains the small pieces of chopped up fruit.

I'm tired of seeing "I can't jelly my dick up your butt", so I wanted to give the correct answer.

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One ticket to Boobston

The year is 1993 a young upstart business executive has to take a quick trip to Boston for a board meeting.

Running late he didn't have time to have his administrative assistant call ahead and book his flight, so he decided just to do it himself once he got to the airport.

After being ...

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Do you know why Bill Cosby likes Jam more than he likes Jelly?

Because he can't jelly his dick in someone.

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