What do you call a person that is happy on a Monday?
Unemployed
Cop: sit on that chair, we're gona interrogate you.
Lawyer: \*whispering\* deny everything. Me: \*loudly\* thats not a chair!
my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl
i replied "nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death. His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, "Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."
"Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven" says Dimitri.
The Communist then turns to another friend.
"Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me."
"No more hard feelings, my friend. You are f...
My relationship with my neighbors is like on that show Friends
I haven't seen any of them since 2004.
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