UPJOKE
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1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ...

There are three moles at the bottom of their mole hole

The first mole, daddy mole, wakes up, climbs to the top, sticks his nose out and says, "Mmmmm...I smell bacon!"
Mommy mole wakes up. She climbs to the top, sticks her nose out and says, "Mmmmm....I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole wakes up. He climbs up, but gets stuck behind his mom and dad. He tak...

An old wise monk is in his garden, planting a young fig tree.

His youthful apprentice, with his own green thumb, comes through the garden to say - "My teacher! Why do you plant a fig tree? They take years to bear fruit... and you may be long gone before you are able to taste their sweet offerings."

And the old, wise monk, sighs mournfully and says -
...

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