Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes....

A man found a tennis ball while out jogging and put it in his pocket to give his dog back home...

As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket.

"Tennis ball" the man said.

"Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!"

Frieza from Dragon Ball Z gets a job as a medical receptionist

After a long day of fighting Vegeta comes into the Dr’s office to get some wounds looked at. As a new patient, Frieza directs him to fill out a hefty stack of new patient paperwork.

After some time, Vegeta brings his finished paperwork to Frieza only to be handed another stack of paperwork. ...

Two guys walking down the street see a dog licking his balls.

Guy 1 says, "Boy I wish I could do that."
Guy 2 says, "Don't you think you should pet him first?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What has 99 balls and fucks old ladies...

***Bingo***

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.


The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.


Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls."


Nevertheless, ...

What do you call a fat person with a crystal ball?

Four-chin teller

A golfer shanks his ball clear off the course...

...and out onto the road, where it hits a passing cop car. The cop runs onto the course and writes the man a ticket for reckless driving.

Play Ball!

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, “Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dipped my balls in some 1000 island dressing

because I have depression

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my 2 balls Jenna and Talia.

Together they are my Jenna Talia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best pals, Frank and Paul, are out for a day of golf. On the third hole, Paul accidentally putts the ball into a field of buttercups. Determined to get the ball back onto the green, he demolishes half of the flowers in the process. As he raises his club to take another swing...POOF! Mother Nature

appears. "What have you done?!! As punishment for destroying my precious buttercups, you shall have no butter for your toast ever again. No butter for baked potatoes either. Actually, no. You shall have no butter for anything...for the rest of your life!" And then, POOF! She was gone.

In tota...

I recently invented a golf ball that automatically goes in the hole if it’s within 6 inches of it.

Warning: Do not put the ball in your back pocket.

A Policeman pulled over an older lady,

He walked up to her window and asked "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"

The woman said, "I just don't know, Officer, was it to invite me to your Police Ball?"

The Officer said, "Ma'am, the Police don't have balls...." He paused for a minute, closed his ticket book and said "Ha...

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So th...

What's the difference between an eight ball and a pack of cigarettes?

My dad came home after buying an eight ball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I coughed so hard my balls hurt.

I asked the person next to me if that's ever happened to them, and my mom was like "no."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, orders a drink and while he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over, grabs some olives off the bar, eats them, grabs some sliced limes, eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs a cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”

The guy says, “No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” says the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ...

Most guys enjoy joking around and breaking each others balls...

But everyone gets all mad when you start busting their nuts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've always liked this old David Lettermen quip; during the time of the 1994–95 baseball strike. "I know we all feel bad for those ball players though"

"They'll have to stay home and have sex with their own wives for a change."

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Couldn't find the stress ball I got to help me with my anxiety

Turned out it went to see a therapist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It took a lot of balls for my friend to go on the reality TV show “Embarrassing Bodies.”

Three actually.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

... "go on" says the priest.

"I swore the other day" says the man.

"continue" says the priest.

"I was on the golf course the other day and I hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway".

"...

Types of deodorant

I went to store and asked for some deodorant.

The cashier asked "Do you want the roll on ball type?"

I said "No thanks, I want it for under my arms."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man applies to a government job, and he gets told this:

The interviewer asked him if he was allergic to anything.

He replies " Yes caffeine, I can't drink coffee,"

"OK," the interviewer says " Have you been in the military?"

The man answers " Yes I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says " OK that will give you 5 po...

What do you call someone after you just kicked them in the balls?

Numbnuts

If you have one big green ball in one hand and one big green ball in another, what do you have?

The undivided attention of the Jolly Green Giant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?

Yeah, it's pretty nuts!

What did Cinderella do when she reached the ball?

She gagged

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the Council to apply for a job

The interviewer asks him, ''Are you allergic to anything?''


He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee.''


''OK, have you ever been in the military
service?''


he says, ''l was in Iraq for one tour.''
The interviewer says, ''That will give you 5
ex...

I love the smell of moth balls...

but it's so hard to hold their little legs apart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call having sex in the ball pit at McDonalds?

Going balls deep

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donkey balls clock

So an American man is wondering around Mexico and begins to wonder what time it is. The American spots a Mexican man having a siesta and decides to wake the Mexican. The American man asks, "Senor, do you know what time it is?" The Mexican man looks to a donkey beside him, places his hand on the donk...

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shakin...

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner only had one golf ball...

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one." Well,"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you name a dog with no hind legs and balls of steel?

Sparky

I recently found out that if you drink the blue liquid from a Magic 8-ball that you can see the future!

Trust me! My friend Joe did it once. He Said right after drinking it he was gonna die, and then he did!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mosquito bit my balls last night

Got my balls sucked,later virgins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a Cuban communist leader cuts your balls off

Fidel Castrations

What do you call it when a holy man busts your balls?

Sackrilegious

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball?

You can't offload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

A beach ball was $50

So I asked the manager, "Why is this so expensive?"
The manager replied, "Inflation"

I saw my roommate carrying a crystal ball and candles

"What do you need a crystal ball and candles for?" I asked.

"I'm going to conduct a ritual to speak with the dead."

"Oh. Makes seance."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad's Balls

After a successful strike dad would always love throwing the ball to the kids in the crowd.


After the 3rd time, he wasn't allowed in the bowling alley anymore.

What do you call a guy who only eats bubble tea balls?

Boba Fed

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods’s golf ball and his SUV?

He can drive his golf ball 300 yards without hitting a tree.

Congrats to Rose Lavelle of Women’s National Soccer team for winning the Bronze Ball, awarded for being the 3rd best player at the World Cup!

Also, huge congrats to the entire Men’s National Soccer team for coming so close but not finishing, winning the Blue Ball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do y'know there's Dragon Ball Z smut?

Kamehameha Sutra

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penis says to his balls

"I'll take you two to a party."

Balls: "You fucking liar! You always go inside alone and leave us knocking!"

Two friends were walking and noticed a giant golden retriever laying down and licking its balls... one of them said what I wouldn’t do to be able to do that...

The other guy said -
Don’t you think you should pet him first?

I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.

She's a keeper!

Everytime I see someone sitting on an exercise ball at work, I always want to stab them.

The person, not the ball.

What do you have when you’re holding two green balls?

Kermit’s undivided attention

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.
What’s the loudest sound in the jungle ?
Giraffes eating cherries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He call for everyone's attention, orders a beer and proceeds to put his balls in the gator's open mouth.

The gator closes its mouth, the man drinks the beer and then takes the bottle and whacks the gator on the head with it real hard. The gator opens its mouth and the man shows off his unharmed balls.

He looks around the bar and says, "I'll give anyone here a 100 dollars to try this."

The...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game...

After the game, he asked her if she liked it. She replied, "it was fun but I don't see why they made such a big fuss over 25 cents."

The guy asked, "What do you mean?"

And she said, "Well, at the beginning of the game, they flipped a coin and someone took it, and for the rest of the ga...

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What do I have in common with Lance Armstrong's balls?

Both of us are single.

Why does a dwarf laugh when he runs?

Because the grass tickles his balls.

I was wondering why the ball was getting larger....

Then it hit me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.

A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.
When he turned 11 he wished for 11 ping-pong balls. This continued every year.

They boy grew up to a man. When he turned 18, he wished for 18 ping-pong balls and when he turned 25 he wished for 25 ping-pong balls.

H...

I lost my rubber band ball earlier...

I still haven't bounced back :(

What do you call King Midas' balls?

Goldman Sachs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dog is so clever, he can swallow a whole ball of string.

I shit you knot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to pick up a few more tennis balls before meeting my friend for game.

The club house had a bin of slightly used balls and I picked out a couple and went to buy them. The cashier asked if I wanted a bag for them and I said it's OK, I'll just put them in my front pockets. While walking out of the store another guy came walking in and saw me with my pockets bulging. "Wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is shaving your dick and balls like time travel for roosters?

It turns an old cock into tender meat and eggs.

Happy Father's Day!

Hey girl are you a slime ball?

'Because you make my piston sticky

My partner asked how I got invited to the Archery Champions Ball.

I told her I had to pull a few strings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can’t you hear rabbits having sex

Because they have cotton balls

Why did Cersei cut off The Hound's balls?

Because a Lannister always spays his pets.

After I won the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV.

Now I’m permanently banned from the bowling tournament.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Balls..

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant
following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter being served at the
next table. Not only did it look good, but the
smell was wonderful.

He asked the waite...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English and an Irish farmer are arguing at their fence over Politics when along comes a chicken and lays an egg right on the fence boundary.

The English farmer exclaims "It's my egg, because it's my Chicken", and the Irish farmer replies with "Well, the egg is mostly on my side of the fence, so it's mine". They argue back and forth about an hour, until the Irish farmer comes up with a solution.

"To see who the strongest farmer is...

Keanu Reeves is celebrated as a saint for his hover hands. When I met him he kept cupping my balls!

Best golf partner I ever had.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies, "Yes, father. I used the "F-word" over the weekend."

The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-wo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I’m holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman needs balls to confess

That she has testicular cancer

Why do mice have tiny little balls?

They don't care for dancing.

I don't get why people think pee is stored in the balls. It is a fact that pee is stored in the BLADDER.

There is a vas deferens between the two.

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car

a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens.......
"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," replies the soldier. "These are my...

Me: *shaking 8 ball* will tonight’s party be amazing?

8 ball: i’m a pile of cocaine, what the hell do you think?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street.

Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the b...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.