Why shouldn't you go out with somebody who got a nose job?

Because they pick their nose

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend suggested that I should get a nose job

But I just can't see my cock fitting into anyone's nostril

Ivanka recently got a nose job.

When she asked her fathers opinion he said “Fake Nose!”

My wife always wanted a nose job.

So she became a tissue designer.

My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday.

It took me a while, but I got her off.

My girl friend wanted a nose job...

So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough.

Smells Good

My GF gave me a beard oil that feels good an smells great. More important, she gets very turned on by the aroma. Our make out sessions are amazing.

If it works so well for kissing, I wondered what would happen if I oiled my pubes?

So I oiled up and went to visit her. Told her I had a s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife

She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough. But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts! Women, I can't figure them out.

A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...

... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.

Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, br...

Things not to say on a first date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.