UPJOKE
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Mostly Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An attractive woman once asked if I was interested in breasts or thighs. I told her I'm mostly into feet and anal.

I am no longer welcome at that KFC restaurant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Although COVID spreads mostly through the mouth & nose..

..scientists now conclude the greatest risk comes from assholes.

A cannibal top chef is mostly known for..

his secret handshake.

I was proven not guilty for allegedly stealing kitchen utensils, mostly colanders.

There were too many holes in the evidence

Today I found out that King Charles is a gamer, and mostly plays Nintendo games.

He knows how to properly use the Royal Wii.

I'm a European frog; mostly French, a bit German, and...

...a tad Pole.

If Hell is red hot, dry and mostly empty,

then how do Australians realize that they're dead?

Why Russian movies and series are mostly WWII themed?

They don't have to spend a single kopeika on props and decorations

Why are Gryphons mostly lion?

Because the body is the lion's share of the Gryphon.

I'm eating mostly whole foods lately

Whole pizzas, whole cheeseburgers, whole tubs of ice cream...

My friend commented on my daughter's weight recently, I told him it's mostly puppy fat.

We should stop buying her pets, kid's a f\*cking pyscho.

A doctor is retiring, he mostly performed circumcisions his whole career...

...and he collected the remainders in a large glass jar. He brings the jar to a leather tanner and explains that it’s all he has to remember 50 years of service to his community - please make something, anything, nice from it.

The leather tanner says no problem; to come back in a week.
...

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

By weight, we are mostly gluons.

None of that's matter, though.

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