UPJOKE

Most Common Jokes

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]

What language is most commonly used in programming?

Profanity.

What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?

"What were you doing the night between November and May?"

What is the most common digestive issue among pathological liars?

IBS!!

What is the most common middle name?

Its Y.

If you don't trust me, verify by asking 10 random people around you.

What’s the most common destination of London Buses?

NottinService

What was the most common reason ancient Egyptians would cry?

They missed their mummies.

What is the most common question that a person holding a PhD in Philosophy asks other people?

"Do you want fries with that?"

whats the most common disease among communists?

Hammer and sickle cell anemia.

Most common Last words before death

1. throw me that grenade, i know how to deal with it.
2. it‘s 100% safe!
3. green is always grounding.
4. turn left, I know it there.
5. I slept with your sister.
6. it‘s ok, dogs loves me.
7. oh, they changed color of my pills.
8. Somebody forgot his suitcase.
9. let‘s have ...

what's the most commonly used phrase by artists?

Would you like fries with that.

what's the most common doctors in Egypt?

"Cairo"practors

So, death isn't actually the most common fear...

... it's public speaking. This means if you were at a funeral, you'd likely rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.

What is the most common illness in China?

Kung Flu.

What's the most common tree in California?

Ash.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My most common sex position is 96

It's where me and my wife lie on the bed with our backs facing each other as she is not in mood ..

What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer?

Google Chrome.

What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems?

A mirror

What's the most common vehicle used to run men over?

The menstrual cycle!

What's the most commonly misspelt blood group?

Type-O

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most common animal in porn?

Swallow.

What is the most common blood type in Taiwan?

Chinese Type-A.

What is the most common attire during WWII?

Casual Tees

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

Whats the most common occupation in Germany?

Poland

Arguably the most common pirate joke around:

What be a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

Arrrrr! (R)

Ah, ye think be Arrrr, but it be the Sea! (C)

What’s the most common STD in Harry Potter?

Hog Warts

At what time to people most commonly get dental injuries treated?

Two thirty.

What second language is most commonly spoken by male tea drinkers?

Hebrew.

A study by the Bureau of Consumer Protection has determined that the most common first name on consumer complaints is actually "Sharon."

My kindergarten teacher was right. Sharon is Karen.

What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?

A Plebeian J

What is most commonly associated with a circus?

Me.

Because I am a clown.

What is the most common type of wine in the Philippines?

Filipinot Noir

What is the most common job amongst spiders?

web designer

E is the most commonly used letter.

I was shocked

What’s the most common reptile found in your toilet?

Commodo dragon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Studies show that doggy is the most common sex style among married couples.

The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked on a biology test "what is most commonly found in cells"

Black people was the wrong answer...

Teacher asked the students to tell the most common word used by students in a classroom.

Suddenly a student got up and said “Can’t Sir”!
Brilliant! You are right, the teacher said!

The most common type of web developers are not even human

they are spiders

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know the most commonly used search term on Google is "butt plug"?

Well, it's not. I just pulled that out of my ass.

What is the most common use for pig skins?

To keep the pig in one piece.

Most common over the counter medicine for Baristas

Throat lozenges, because they get coffee.

What’s the most common form of birth control at Hogwart’s?

*Coitus Interruptus*

Why did the Caribbean guy dislike one of the most commonly used vowels?

Because he was from Haiti.

What's the most common disease in Canada?

Hepatitis Eh.

What is the most common comment on Reddit?

OPs mother.

What's the most common question in Quantum Physics?

I don't know

What is the most common dinosaur?

Mybackissoar

Where is the flu most common?

In cities with high levels of congestion!!

Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang.

...correct me if you think that's Wong.

The most common name in Vietnam can be used as both a first and a last name

I guess for them, it’s a Nguyen Nguyen situation

What's the most common type of owl in Great Britain?

Teatowel.


Sorry if you've heard or seen this before on here; I've not and I'm unable to search because I'm using the mobile sitem

The penny is the most common among coins in circulation.

It's common cents.

What are the most common 3 words used all around the world?

Made in China.

What is the most common death among square dancers?

Over Do-se-do.

Apparently, this is the most commonly-appreciated joke in the world

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he'...

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most commonly played song at a strip club in Iraq?

Baghdad ass up.

I just read a statistic on the most common way a person walks when they have been drinking.

It’s staggering.

What's the most common phrase at a strip club?

You come here often?

What is the most common cause of feline blindness?

Cataracts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most common phrase uttered by a blond after sex?

"Are you guys all on the same team?"

My friend's wellness teacher asked him in freshman year what the most common STD in the world was...

Apparently, pregnancy was the wrong answer.

What is the most common reply that Mark Zuckerberg gets when he makes a post?

Good bot.

Data gathered from over 10,000 prisoners worldwide suggests that the most common side effect is...

...cell-ulite.

First man: what is the most commonly used French expression?

Second man: uhh... I give up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the most common ingredient in the neo-nazi cookbook?

WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR!

I was surprised to learn the most common method of suicide in France was throwing a toaster in a bathtub filled with cheese enzymes.

It was quite a culture shock.

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