Keep In Jokes - 18 Hilarious Keep In Jokes

How do ghosts keep in shape?

They exorcise regularly.

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What does Spongebob keep in his square pants?

A thick mane of cubic hair

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

What pet do you keep in your car?

Answer: A carpet.

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What does a karate master keep in his pants?

Gi’s nuts.

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How do crabs keep in touch with each other?

On shellphones!

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A man finds a genie lamp, rubs it and poof a Genie appears.

Genie: I have the power to grant you 3 wishes but keep in mind, whatever you wish, your mother-in-law will receive two-fold…

Man: Ok. My first wish is for 1 billion dollars.

Genie: Your wish is granted, but keep in mind that your mother-in-law will receive 2 billion dollars.

Ma...

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Did you know that Vin Diesel only eats two meals a day to keep in shape for making movies?

Breakfast and breakfurious

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What do astronauts use to keep in touch with friends and family?

Spacebook.

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How did Jesus keep in such great shape?

CrossFit.

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Last time I hung out with Matthew McConaughey I said "Keep in touch"...

He replied back "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"

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How does Thanos keep in shape?

With a balanced diet.

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What animal should U always keep in the kitchen?

A Pan..duh !! Get it

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What type of sweet does a banker keep in his wastecoat?

InvestMints

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I think it's nice to keep in contact with my xs'.

That way they'll never regret breaking up.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!

*(Made mine this morning!!)*

1 cup sugar,
1 tsp. baking powder,
1 cup water,
1 tsp. salt ,
1 cup brown sugar,
Lemon juice,
4 large eggs,
Nuts,
1 bottle Vodka,
2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check qual...

What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard?

His garden hoes.

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I bought my best friend a plush elephant to keep in his room.

Friend: "Thank's for the elephant!"

Me: "Don't mention it."

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