Keep In Jokes - 18 Hilarious Keep In Jokes

How do ghosts keep in shape?

They exorcise regularly.

What does Spongebob keep in his square pants?

A thick mane of cubic hair

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

What pet do you keep in your car?

Answer: A carpet.

What does a karate master keep in his pants?

Gi’s nuts.

How do crabs keep in touch with each other?

On shellphones!

A man finds a genie lamp, rubs it and poof a Genie appears.

Genie: I have the power to grant you 3 wishes but keep in mind, whatever you wish, your mother-in-law will receive two-fold…

Man: Ok. My first wish is for 1 billion dollars.

Genie: Your wish is granted, but keep in mind that your mother-in-law will receive 2 billion dollars.

Ma...

Did you know that Vin Diesel only eats two meals a day to keep in shape for making movies?

Breakfast and breakfurious

What do astronauts use to keep in touch with friends and family?

Spacebook.

How did Jesus keep in such great shape?

CrossFit.

Last time I hung out with Matthew McConaughey I said "Keep in touch"...

He replied back "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"

How does Thanos keep in shape?

With a balanced diet.

What animal should U always keep in the kitchen?

A Pan..duh !! Get it

What type of sweet does a banker keep in his wastecoat?

InvestMints

I think it's nice to keep in contact with my xs'.

That way they'll never regret breaking up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!

*(Made mine this morning!!)*

1 cup sugar,
1 tsp. baking powder,
1 cup water,
1 tsp. salt ,
1 cup brown sugar,
Lemon juice,
4 large eggs,
Nuts,
1 bottle Vodka,
2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check qual...

What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard?

His garden hoes.

I bought my best friend a plush elephant to keep in his room.

Friend: "Thank's for the elephant!"

Me: "Don't mention it."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.