House Paint Jokes

The morning after their bedroom is painted, the husband gets up and gets dressed to go to work. But he accidentally presses his hand against the wall, leaving a handprint.

When the wife wakes up, she sees the handprint. Since the bedroom was painted just yesterday, she realizes that her husba... read more

and one of his parishioners offers to do it, but he needs money to pick up the supplies. The pastor gives him some money, but when the time comes to paint the house, the parishioner finds he only has half the paint he needs. He figures, "I'll just water it down. It'll be fine." He does that, paints ... read more

Donald trump wants to paint the white house. He calls for tenders from China, Europe and India.


Chinese guy quoted 3 million U$


European guy quoted 7 million U$


Indian guy quoted 10 million U$


Trump asked chinese guy, how did you quote 3 million..?" ... read more

Looking through the newspaper he sees an ad for the Wong Brothers Painting Company.

He hires the Wong Brothers to paint his house white as he's preparing to leave for the week.

When his vacation is over he comes home and his house is *pink*.

Angry, he goes to the Wong Brothers... read more

Being the swindler cheapskate he is, he stirs water into the paint to save a buck. The painter hastily slaps the paint onto the rectory, and right as he applies the last stroke, the weather, which had been perfectly clear and sunny, instantly went dark, and a torrential rain poured down. The cheap p... read more

So, in the summer, I go do some work. I was looking for a job, and found house painting.

A couple of days after my first day, we where going to paint a fairly big house. We did it with the 3 of us, because then the job will be done quicker.

One day, one of us fell down the lader, 3 f... read more

I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0.
I asked them, "Why aren't you charging me for the paint?"
They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."