Roger was a simple man but everyone in town knew him.

For many decades he worked alone at his picture framing store, Abbott's Framing, which was on Main St. and he would often sit outside on a chair, chatting with many of the locals. One day old Roger passed away and they held his funeral under a big oak tree with a large framed picture of him sporting...

Disney have announced they’re rebooting Who Framed Roger Rabbit with Ric Flair played the role of Eddie Valiant. It’s going to be called

Wooooooooo Framed Roger Rabbit

Did you hear about the guy who shot his wife, hung his children, and framed the dog?

They really are nice photographs.

Fresh Paint

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. After he finished, he headed to the kitchen to raid the refrigerator. The wife comes home sooner than expected, and heads to the bathroom, sits down, and gets the toilet seat stuck to her rear.

She becomes...

Last week I got a picture framed

Now it's doing 10 years for armed robbery but swears that it's innocent

I've got a framed photo of the mother-in-law on my drinks cabinet.

It keeps the kids from it.

And when she starts to look good I know it's time to stop drinking.

Why was a group of lemurs framed for organized crime within seconds?

They were a conspiracy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to antagonize my roommate by keeping framed photos of his ex.

They're on shelves throughout the apartment. Hell, there are two in my room! Sometimes I call her when he's in the room. I even invite her to visit.

That's what that bastard gets for having dated my sister.

I got framed for murder...

My picture now hangs on the wall in the PD

I finally framed my certificate for being able to shoot my sperm 15m,

And I can’t believe how far I’ve come.

What's the difference between Jesus and a framed picture of Jesus?

You only need one nail for the frame

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet.

Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy ...

I framed a picture of a caduceus and wore it for Halloween

I was a picture of health.

A cow and a chicken were framed

And thrown into prison. They knew they had to get out to bring the criminals to justice so they spent weeks designing escape plans. Finally, a month after they had been thrown in, they escaped in the middle of the night. However, they weren't silent enough and they had to flee from the prison guards...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of sexually harassing Tinkerbell

On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"

A man was framed for a crime

It was a damn good photo of his mugshot

A group of crows framed my friend, ultimately leading to his death

I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!

How do you know a painting's innocent?

Cause it was framed.

I went up to this girl and asked if she could take a picture of me, and she said yes.

So I handed her a framed portrait of me and walked away.

The Human Crime Detector

The police have had trouble determining whether or not their suspects are guilty of committing the crimes they were arrested for. After hearing word of a man able to determine if any person brought before him committed a crime, they decide to consult him.

They bring the first suspect in, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My uncle just saw his “wanted” picture at the courthouse and was pissed

Because he was framed

A cowhand rides into town and sees a "Help Wanted" poster outside the saloon.

"Man wanted for general farm duties," he reads. "Must be strong, capable, experienced in animal handling and willing to learn. Apply to Widow Sallet, Sallet Farm, two miles east of town."

So he goes along to the farm, as it sounds like steady work and he's tired of living hand to mouth, and f...

A donkey and a horse met in a bar

After talking for a few minutes they decided to go to the horse's house. When they arrived the donkey noticed that the horse had a lot of trophies and medals all across the walls, he asked him:

"Where did you get all of this things?"

"I am a race horse, I won them", the horse replied.<...

After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won’t admit she framed me.

What do you say to a painting that has been falsely accused of being a fake?

You’ve been framed.

Once there was a small town

Within this town there was a man named Epydidumus Roderigo the Third, but for simplicity, everyone called him Ep. If there was one thing Ep was known for it was his antique fork, that was passed down through his family for generations and was so old and weathered that only one tine remained on the f...

I was Washingtons of clothes when...

Adams-el in distress ran up to me and said her boyfriend Jefferson was being not nice and even though I was a bit Madison at the guy I couldn’t help but give her retreat, and boy, she was such a Monroe!

My friend Jack’s son decided to do a van burying on me I was having a leisurely drive. He ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Irish lads walking home from a pub...

Along the way, the older of the two starts babbling.

"You see that barn over there, Laddie? I built that barn with me own two hands. Framed it, roofed it, did it all me self. But do they call me a barn builder, Laddie? No, no they don't."

The two continue walking.

"You see that ...

What do you call a wrongly convicted painting?

Framed.

Why did Mona Lisa plead innocent in court?

She was framed

A house was charged with murder...

Personally I think it was framed.

A doctor who was proud of his degrees...

always had them hanging in his office. His BS in Biology, PhD in Microbiology, and his MD were framed and hung behind him.

One day his clinic caught fire and he was caught inside the burning building. They were finally able to pull his unconscious body from the rubble and rushed him to the em...

Elephant Stew

## Ingredients

* 1 Elephant
* Brown gravy, and lots of it
* Salt and pepper to taste
* 2 Rabbits (optional)

## Directions

Cut elephant into small, bite-size pieces.

This should take about 2 months.



Add enough brown gravy to cover,

cook over...

It's sad to see so many pictures end up in jail.

Most have been framed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American revolutionary war veteran went to London for a grand ball.

Upon his arrival, the man in charge welcomed him graciously. They laughed and danced with the men and women until midnight, where he suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom.

After receiving directions by the man, he walked inside the large bathroom to find that the only decoration was a ...

Did you hear about the self-portrait scandal?

Turns out, he was framed.

Did 'ja hear the one about the criminal painter?

he was framed

10 blondes walk into a bar...

they say to the bartender, "We'll have the most expensive bottle of champagne you have! We're celebrating."
They sit down and crack open the bottle and raise their glasses and they all say "23" and drink.
The bartender is curious and goes to their table and asks, "What are you celebrating?"<...

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