A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.

Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother "Mom, why did you named me Drop?"

And she says: "Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head..."

The second kid asks: "Mom, why did you named me Feather?"

She...

If an aeroplane is transporting 100 bricks, and one falls out, how many bricks are left?

Ninety nine.

-

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Put the elephant in
3. Close the door

-

What are the four steps to putting a horse in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Take the elephant out
...

I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

What did the brick say to the brick that was grabbing him?

Le'go!

There were three brothers Feather, Pillow and Brick.

One day Feather went to his mother and asked:
-Mom, why is my name Feather?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a feather fell on your head.
-she replied.

Next day Pillo asked the same question.
-Mom, why is my name Pillow?
-Because when you w...

When I passed through Nevada, all i saw were ho's. Then in Utah, I didnt see as many, but there were quite a few ho's if you looked. When I left Salt Lake City, the truth hit me like a brick when I crossed the border...

Idaho.

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.

When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said: "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and wa...

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I was building an impenetrable fortress and as I laid the last brick I thought to myself,

"oh shit, how am I supposed to get inside"

What's the difference between a brick and a blonde?

I can actually lay a brick.

What weighs more a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers

A tonne of feathers of course, ... Because you have to live with what you did to those chickens

Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick?

The brick gets laid.

A friend told me "I can't wait to get out of Brooklyn, they took my rims, put the car on bricks"

I said "you moved to Brooklyn so you can get a brownstone, now you got 4"

A father names has 3 daughters named Petal, Flower, and Brick

Petal asks "dad, why was I named Petal?"
He says a petal fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead right after she was born so he named her Petal.

Flower asks "so, dad why was I named Flower?"
He says a flower fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead as well right a...

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So a duck walks into a bar...

So a duck walks into a bar a says, "hey can I get a beer?". Bartender says "holy shit a talking duck"

Duck: look man I've been doing construction all day and I really just want a beer

Bartender: you should join the circus, you'd make a killing

Duck: what the fuck is the circus g...

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A Polish man moved to America and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following ...

Heard this joke at school. Thought I might share it with y’all

There is a lady called Mary who has 3 children: Violet, Rose and Brick.

So Violet goes to her and asks: “Mom, why am I called Violet?”

And Mary responds: “Because when you were born, a violet fell on your head”

Then Rose comes and asks: “Mom, why am I called Rose?”

And Ma...

What weighs more a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

## The answer is feathers. 200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What did the fish say when it bumped into the brick wall?

dam

300 Bricks on a plane

There are 300 bricks on a plane, 1 falls off. How many are left? Pretty simple, 299.


What are the 3 steps to put an elephant in a fridge? Easy, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, and close the fridge.


What are the 4 steps to put a Giraffe in the fridge? Easy, open the fr...

What's red and bad for your teeth ?

A brick

When I was in 2nd grade, my dog Brick was hit by a car and killed, and my mom tried to console me. She said, "He's probably already in Heaven with God."

I said, "Why would God want a dead dog?"

There are three girls, one named Tulip, one named Daisy, and one named Brick.

One day, three girls and their mom are walking down the street. One is named Tulip, one is named Daisy, and one is named Brick. Tulip asks, "Mommy, why am I named Tulip?", "Oh, because a bunch of Tulips fell on you when you were born," Her mom said. "Well, why am I named Daisy?", "Because a bunch of...

First thing every morning I punch a brick wall as hard as I can

Because your best days start with break fist.

What do you call stacks of free bricks left for rioters?

Free Masonry!

Three children named Feather, Droplet, and Brick went to their mother to ask why they were named so.

Feather went to his mother and asked,"Mother, why is my name Feather?" And the mother replied,"because when you were born, a feather fell on your forehead." Satisfied, Feather went away.

After Feather, Droplet went to his mother and asked,"Mother, why is my name Droplet?" And the mother repli...

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A man went fishing on beautiful sunday morning.

On his way there he passed couple of women walking to a church.

"Oh I see you are going fishing, but why do you need this brick?"

Says one of the women pointing at his hand.

"Well that's my secret, but I can tell you this secret for a blow job"

"You are disgusting!" Woma...

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You guys keep getting this joke wrong. "What is red and bad for your teeth?"

A brick...

Now shut the fuck up.

A little boy is sitting with his grandfather (Hans) on a hill overlooking their small town.

The grandfather points out a church in the middle of town and says, "you see that church? I built it, but do they call me "Hans the Church Builder"? No."

A couple minutes later, Hans points out a long brick wall along the outskirts of town. He says to his grandson, "you see that brick wall? I...

A joke told to me by an old friend of mine (slightly offensive)

A father of 3 children is watching the news, when one of his daughters came in. She asked: “Daddy, why is my name Daisy?” The Father replied “because when you were born, a daisy fell onto your head.” His second daughter then asks “why is my name Poppy?” To which the father replied “because when you ...

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Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

Three hungry vampires were going to feed one night

They decided amongst themselves that they would go out and feed one vampire at the time, while the other two watched over their den.
The first vampire went out.
After an hour he came back to the den with blood covering his teeth.
- "Where did you go to feed?" the other two vampires asked...

So I’m at the dentist yesterday...

So I’m at the dentist yesterday, the dentist has a needle deep in my gums. As he’s concentrating, he casually says, “how are fat chicks and bricks alike?” I was like “au-ha-oa-iea” (his hand still in my mouth) He goes “welp, sooner or later their gonna get laid by a Mexican.”

True story.

Little Johnny is walking out after church....

he stops and asks the preacher, "What are all these bricks in the side of the building with names engraved in them?"

The pastor replies, "Those bricks and names are all in remembrance of people who died in the service."

"Oh"' Johnny replies..... "was it the early or late service?"

"Father, why is my name 'Rose'?

"Because just after you were born, a rose petal landed on your head when we were leaving the hospital."


"Is that also why my sister's name is 'Daisy'?"


"Yes it is."


"eherrnnanenhahenrnanehh"


"Quiet, Brick"

This joke is translated from my language.

There was a kid named daisy who went to her parents and asked them a question.

Daisy: hey dad why am I named daisy?

Dad: because when you were first born a daisy fell on your little head.

So her brother who is named bricks went to the dad and said: wnaopa wabwkla woplrn

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My kidnappers enjoyed torturing me

It was days before one of them allowed me to finally drink any water. When he gave me the jug of discolored water, the grin on his face had me terrified to drink it, and I instantly imagined it was full of poison. But I couldn't help myself; I was too thirsty. I drank it all.

Still I couldn't...

Which is heavier - 1000 pounds of feathers or 1000 pounds of bricks?

The feathers are heavier - you also have to carry the guilt of plucking all those chickens.

Once upon a time, there was a happy family with 3 kids: Snowflake, Sandgrain, and Brick

One day, Snowflake went up to his mother and asked:

“Mommy! Why is my name Snowflake?”

“Well you see, when you were born, a little snowflake landed on your head. So we decided to name you after it.” She replied.

A couple days later, Sandgrain went up to his mother and asked:
...

Two fish are swimming in a river when they both run into a brick wall...

One looks at the other and says "dam"

What does a fat white woman and a pile of bricks have in common?

Sooner or later they will both get laid by a Mexican.

My wife said childbirth was the worst pain, until I told her how I once landed barefoot on a huge pile of toy bricks.

She didn't have a Lego to stand on.

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My great Grandpa Randy was a brick layer...

He said, "I was a brick layer for 20 years and no one called me 'Randy the brick layer.'

Then I farmed for 25 year and no one called me 'Randy the farmer.'

But you fuck just one goat.

Many years ago there lived a poor fisherman in a coastal city-state

Many years ago there lived a poor fisherman in a coastal city-state. Once, while at the market trying to sell seafood he received a gold coin as payment from a stranger. Since this was worth more than he ever earned in a year, he was overjoyed. He decided to hide his gold coin in a space between bri...

What’s the difference between the Thalmor and a brick?

A brick will actually help rebuild Skyrim

I’m confused.

Do I need a mask or a brick to enter a store?

A little girl knocks on my door and said Brick or Breat. I said what are you dressed up as? She said a Birate.

A birate you mean a pirate She said ya a birate. I asked if you are a pirate were are your buccaneers you know your band of cut throat's and theaves, were are your buccaneers? she said under my bucking hat give me the bucking candy

I don't want to sound like I'm showing off or something, but people put bricks through my windows...

...just so they can hear me practicing my saxophone louder.

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Seamus is at the pub with a row of whiskey shots lined up in front of him, looking depressed as ever.

A newcomer to the small town, looking to make friends, sits down next to Seamus and asks him what's wrong.
 
Without looking at the newcomer, Seamus downs a shot and in his thick Irish brogue says "I've lived in this town me whole life. You see the sidewalk out front? I laid every brick with m...

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Doctor, doctor, I've eaten some lego!

Well you'll be shitting bricks.

What do you call a PC made of legos?

Bricked

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Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.

One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand f...

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Bill is laying bricks on the 20th floor of a construction site

When he accidentally knocked a brick, causing it to fall off the edge!
He quickly yelled out "Falling Brick!"

Looking down, he notices that a rather well-dressed businessman has stepped out of the way of the brick and is making his way up to him. "You saved my life mate, here's $100" sai...

When building a brick oven it’s important to make the hole big enough to fit a chicken

And also to use a door, so he can’t get out

A mother had three sons: Leaf, Feather and Brick.

Leaf came one day to his mom and said: "Mom, why did you call me Leaf?"

"Well son, ", replied his mom, "When you were born a leaf fell on your head and it was so cute and I couldn't hold myself from naming you like that".

Years passed and Feather came one day to his mom and said: "Mom...

Where did the builder buy his bricks from?

Wall-mart.

Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers...

They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...

You mean WHAT?

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending
divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the
middle of the property with a stream running by.”
"No," he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this...

If someone got hit by a ton of bricks and survived,

how would they describe it?

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Bricks have a frustrating sex life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

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Since we're doing translations, here's one from Mexico:

On the first day back from summer vacation, the teacher asked the students what they did over the summer and if they got any nicknames.


Juan goes first: "I spent my summer working with my dad laying bricks!"
Teacher: "did you have a nickname?
Juan: "Yes, the brick mason's son"
...

What’s the difference between a brick salesperson and a boxer

One stocks rocks and the other rocks socks

A little girl ask to her mom: "mom, why am I named Rosa?"

And her mom said: "because when you were born a rose fell on you head"

Her sister Daisy heatrs this and ask: "why is my name Daisy?"

And her mom said: because when you were born a daisy fell in your head"

When their brother Brick heard this, he ask: "GHTAKNDIALFJKQODK"

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What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

No...

My neighbors loves the music I play

they loved it so much they threw a brick through my window to hear it better!

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I sexually identify as a brick.

I'm always hard and I've only been laid once.

What’s the difference between a brick and a red velvet cake?

Not much, if we’re going off my mother-in-law’s recipe.

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Why is it bad to eat legos?

Because then you start shitting bricks

Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...

And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets sucked into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine,...

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Three construction workers are building a brick wall in the middle of a swamp.

During a break, the first man, Joe, says, "Let's have a brick throwing competition. Whoever can throw his brick the highest wins!"

"That sounds like fun; I'm in!" Replied the second man, Tom.

"But how will we measure who's goes the highest?" inquired Jim, the third man.

"Simple,...

Two brick masons are laying a wall when suddenly one of the bricks start to talk..

When the masons start to talk to the brick he seems just like a regular guy telling the masons about his ambitions to go and get a education, so that he's not forgotten like the rest of his brethren. Then he asks the masons to go with him and get an education too so that they won't have to do this...

Three young friends, lil' droplet, lil' feather and lil' brick ask their mothers about how they got their names...

Lil' droplet went up to her mother and asked, "Mommy, why is my name Lil' droplet?"

And so, Lil droplet's mother answered, "Well, it's because a little water droplet fell on your head the moment you were born."

Of course, Lil' droplet went off with glee, happy with the answer.

T...

A list of jokes [Long]

1. There are a hundred bricks on an airplane. One falls out. How many are left?

Answer: 99.

2. How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in your refrigerator?

Answer: Three--open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.

3. How many steps does it take to put an e...

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I had a few jokes I loved as a kid

Like, there was this one where these three friends were out after it rained and had some bricks. They wanted to decide who was the strongest by seeing who could throw the bricks in the air but didn't have a way to measure the height so they decided that since it was muddy outside, they'd throw the b...

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man writing to his insurance

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.  In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

I am a bric...

An English man ,a Scott’s man ,and an Irish man got on a plane.

The English man had a brick the Scott’s man had a knife and the Irish man had a bomb.
Midway through the flight the English man dropped his brick and when he got home he found his mother crying in the garden. He asked what is wrong and she said your dad was sitting in the garden and it hit him ...

How do you make a Clown cry

You throw a brick at it

What is Donald Trumps favourite song? Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd

Because he don't need no education....

Names can be meaningful

There were 3 little brothers: Flower, Petal and Brick.

The kids were wondering how they got their names so they decided to go ask dad!

Flower: Dad why did you name me Flower?

Dad: You see kid, when you were born, a tiny little flower dropped down on your head!

Petal: Dad ...

Three cows graze in a field

The first cow, Rose, says, “I was named Rose because the first thing my head touched was a beautiful, red rose.”

The second cow, Daisy, says, “My mother named me Daisy because when I was born, I fell out headfirst onto a beautiful field of daisies.”.

The third cow, Brick, says, “Guuuh”

Why is the background of r/jokes a brick wall and neon sign?

Because everything's old and reused, just like the background.

My 11 year old Niece told me this joke today.

A dad is driving his three kids to school. The first kid asks, "Dad, why did you call me blossom?" The dad answered, "when you were born and we left the hospital, a leaf fell from a blossom tree. So we called you blossom."

The second kid then asks, "why did you call me Daisy?" The dad answere...

If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Glass

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