What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes.

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

A man decides to buy two horses. When he brought them home he realized he needed some way to tell them apart .

So he called his neighbor to help out. The neighbor said "You know, you could just snip a little bit of one horse's tail and leave the other one's intact, that way you can tell them apart by the length of the tail". The man liked that idea and he took some scissors and snipped a bit of the first hor...

A blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes going around and decided to dye her hair brown.

She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allow...

How did Chris Browns girlfriend find out he was cheating on her?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rihanna?

I'd hit that....

How do you turn a pizza brown?

Eat it.

What's the difference between a brown bear on a bicycle and a black bear on a bicycle?

Bearly much, they're bicycly the same.

I lost 40 pounds this year.

On an unrelated note, if you see a 6 year old boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Please contact me.

I was gonna make a chris brown joke,

But he beat me to the punch

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what did the sexy brown chicken say to the sexy brown cow?

brown-chicka-brown-cow!!

What is brown, has four legs, green fur and if it falls from a tree, it kills you?

A pool table!

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Horse and Chicken were standing in farmer Brown's yard. [Long]

Horse was standing in the biggest puddle of mud you ever did see, not paying attention to anything. Before he knew it, he had sunk up to his haunches and couldn't get out.
"Help me Chicken!" He cried. "Go get Farmer Brown to pull me out with his tractor"
"Can't!" Squawked Chicken. "Farmer Brow...

What’s the difference between brown nosing and kissing @ss?

Depth perception

You don't get many jokes about white sugar but jokes about brown sugar, well..

Demarara.

Roses are red, Acorns are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

What animal has two gray legs and two brown legs?



An elephant with diarrhea

Breaking News: Chris Brown has made another hit.

And in other news, his new song is selling well.

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Never say hello to a Brown bear's arse

You'll meet a grizzly end...

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said “Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?”

“No, I didn’t know that.” The man replied.

“So what color are your wife’s eyes?” asked the friend.

The man replied, “I’m too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home and find out.”

So the man hurries home to find his wife in bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife’s ey...

I was going for a club where it was this rule - "people only with Brown Bow tie are allowed".

I entered the club and saw people were wearing other clothes too.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brown...

Artifical intelligence.

The black and the brown cow

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flum...

What’s long, brown, and toothless?

The unemployment line in Georgia.

What's brown and runny?

Usain bolt

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Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

A blond and two brown haired girls are playing hide and seek

The first girl hides in a dog crate with a towel over it when the it comes by she says woof woof the it goes right by the second girl hides in a cat crate and when the it goes by she says meow meow the blond hides in a potato sack and when the it comes by she screams POTATO NOISES.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

Guy walks into a bar with a brown paper bag and orders a beer. The barman delivers but notices something moving in the bag and asks what's in it.

Guy puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a small piano, then a tiny chair and finally a miniature guy in a tuxedo that proceeds to sit down and play.

"That's amazing," says the barman. "Where did you get him?"

Guy pulls a genie's lamp out of his jacket.

"Wow, do you mind if I ...

Why did the baker have brown hands??

He kneaded a poo

Chris Brown's girlfriend walked into a bar.

That's his story and he's sticking to it.

Why does Chris Brown still have a job?

Beats me.

My least favourite colour is brown.

I hate it more than all the other colours combined.

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I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

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Brown Paper Larry

A cowboy rides into town and sees a few guys working on a gallows. The cowboy dismounts and calls out, "Hey, sheriff, when's the hangin'?"

The sheriff says, "Saturday. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."

The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"

"...

What's big and green, brown and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would certainly kill you?

A pool table... (A billiards table)

What happens when a red pirate ship and a brown pirate ship meet on a deserted island?

They get marooned

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender delivers it, the cowboy looks around and notices the bar is completely deserted other than himself and the bartender...

"Where is everybody? This place is usually packed this time of day," the cowboy says.

The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," says the bartender.

"What kind of name is that? Why do they call him Brown Pap...

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on...

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on and the bartender asks "what’s with the robes, you just get out of a Renaissance faire?”


He replies, ”No I’m a Carmelite priest.”

The bartender exclaims "I’ll be damned!”

He answers “I hope not!"

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

a doberman

A blonde dyes her hair brown and goes for a drive in the countryside

While she is driving, she stops for a shepherd who is crossing with some sheep.
She asks,"If I can guess the amount of sheep you have, can I keep one?"
The shepherd replies,"Sure, why not"
So the blonde (now brunette) thinks for a while and says,"261"
The number is right, so the shepherd...

If brown cake tastes like chocolate and white cake tastes like vanilla, what does yellow cake taste like?

Uranium

What’s Chris Brown’s favorite type of music?

Beatbox

What's dead, brown, and covered in sand?

Shamima Begum's kids.

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

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I met this bitch today,brown hair...

cute eyes, lovely smile so I adopted her.

Brown bears vs. grizzly bears

A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, “Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see an...

A blond is driving down country roads feeling smart because she dyed her hair brown

She turns a corner and finds the road completely blacked by sheep. The farmer comes it the the window and apologizes for blockage, he says they’ll be past in a few minutes. The “brunette” looks at the sheep and back at the farmer and says “if I can guess how meant sheep are there can I have one?” Th...

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What’s brown and sticky?

Reposts.

what’s brown and hides in the attic?

the diarrhoea of Anne Frank

Fun fact: 7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

93% of American adults think chocolate milk should come from white male cows.

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

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Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty."

If Alex Jones and Chris Brown were both on fire and you only had one fire extinguisher...

Where would you hide it?

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year

What's big, brown and in a girl's panties?

Billy Cosby's hand.

What's brown and sits on a piano stool?

Beethoven's last movement.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons

One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in...

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