Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"

The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the ...

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

Brown bears vs Grizzly bears

A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, “Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see an...

Whats brown and rhyms with Snoop?

Dr Dre

Polar bears used to be brown but through evolution, they turned white

because Police were shooting them



\-Mark Normand

Jokes about white sugar, they're rare. But jokes about brown sugar...

Demerara

What's brown and warm and sits on a piano stool?

Beethovens first movement.

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

In reality it's because I banged her mom.

What is long, brown and runs around the garden?

A fence.

What’s the best part about getting a toy from Bobby Brown?

Battery included

Chipotle guy asked, "White rice or Brown rice ?"

I am not ricist, I said.

My reddish-brown Toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday

It’s a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

What's brown and not very heavy?

Light brown.

What big, brown, hairy, and has a white liquid inside?

Coconuts

I can't read Charlie Brown comics anymore...

Turns out I'm allergic to peanuts.

Do you like white rice? Or brown rice? Or yellow rice?

I love all rice equally. You're just Ricest.

What is brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. ....

"One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a kiss-ass is called "brown nose,"

Would a drunk kiss-ass be called "shit-face?"

Roses are Red, Chocolate is Brown..

My wife ate asparagus and wants me to go down.

 

Why did the karate student wear brown shoes to the dojo?

He didn't have a black belt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is asking a farmer about his two cows

Man: About how much milk do you get from them in a day?


Farmer: Which one, the brown one or the black one?


Man: The brown one.


Farmer: About a half gallon a day.


Man: And the black one?


Farmer: About a half gallon a day.


Man (looki...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Turner Brown

A skinny little white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a girl called Sally Brown...

...who said no man could lay her down

And over the hill came Piss-Pot Pete,

With fifty pounds of swinging meat.

He layed her down upon the grass,

And fucked the pants right off her ass.

Then, with one tremendous fart

She blew Pete's balls five miles apart<...

Did You Ever Hear About Christopher, The Brown-Nosed Reindeer?

He could run just as fast as Rudolph, he just couldn't stop as quick...

What's the difference between a brown family and a white family?

On an average the brown parents have 4 kids while the white kids have 4 parents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stuck in their apartment with their kid during the COVID quarantine, the Smith’s are desperate to fuck...

So they send little Johnny out on the balcony with a popsicle and a notebook with the directions to log what all the neighbors are up to during the quarantine.

After they finished with their twenty minute *alone time,* Mr. Smith lets Johnny back in from the balcony. ”So, Johnny, what did you...

What does cooking burgers and wives have in common?

When the blood starts oozing out you flip them over to the brown side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a brown-noser and an ass-kisser?

Depth perception.

How did Chris Browns girlfriend find out he was cheating on her?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Chris Brown’s Greatest hits

Rhianna

How to deal with black bears and brown bears when hiking.

1. Always wear bells to warn the bears you are coming and not startle them into a charge.
2. Always carry bear mace and spray it in the air towards the bear because they have sensitive noses.
3. Always inspect bear droppings to tell what kind of bears are nearby. Black bear droppings mostly ha...

New 911 audio recordings of Chris Browns assault on Rihanna has been released to the public for the first time.

It’s called Chris Browns greatest hits.

What’s brown, round, and if you give it a map it’ll still get lost?

Dora the Explorer

A Pirate captain sits behind on the deck of his ship (long)

From the nest he hears "Captain, a navy ship is approaching!"

"Just one?" he responds?

"Yessir, Just the one!" He ponders this for a second.

"Alright, someone get me my red shirt!" So someone scurries off and grabs the red shirt and the captain puts it on. The navy ship approac...

What is brown and sticky?

The prime minister of Ukraine's nose

Do you think celebrities get special places in hell?

Or are we just going to be burning there then I'm like,"damn is that you Chris Brown? I'm your biggest fan ,I used to beat my girl too "

So an astronaut, a pimp and a proctologist all walk into a bar....

"I drive a Saturn", says the astronaut.

"I drive a cheap escort", says the pimp

The proctologist says "I've got you all beat. I drive a brown probe"

Harry Brown has 5 letters in his first name

He has 5 letters in his last name

He lives at 555 w 5th Avenue
And has worked for 5 years at Saks 5th Avenue

He obviously has a thing for the number 5.

Last week he went to the race track

He saw in the 5th race in the 5th spot is a horse called numero cinco.

He...

Everyone knows how Bert the Brown Nose reindeer got his name, but nobody knows how Rudolph did

Rudolph the regular nose reindeer was on sabbatical and took a brief trip through Portland Maine.

While Rudolph and his life partner Gary were there, they spotted a fortune teller on the other side of the street. As the pair crossed the road, a truck carrying industrial red naval paint swerv...

Little Bobby was in class and wrote “ICK” on his desk with a pencil. He dared little Jimmy to write a “D” at the beginning. The teacher, Mr. Brown, saw the whole thing. As Jimmy wrote the “D” the teacher approached them and Bobby blamed it all on poor Jimmy. Mr Brown shouted . . .

“Bobby!!! You penciled ick!!” Mr. Brown was fired for using profanity.

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

What's brown, stinks, and looks for clues?

Scooby's Doo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher is trying to instruct her class on the meaning of the word "definitely".

"Can anyone give man an example?" She asks.

Suzie raises her "the grass is definitely green."

"Sometimes the grass can be brown," the teacher answers. "Anyone else?"

"The sky is definitely blue." Says Timmy.

"The sky can by gray if it's cloudy, or black at night." Says th...

The Cleveland Browns are covering the playing field in cardboard for Sunday's game.

Because they always play better on paper.

Roses are brown, violets are grey

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

>!It's becoming a real problem at the traffic lights I'm afraid to say!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little Texas joke

A young man in Oklahoma turns 21. Excited, he tells his father, “I want to finally go to Texas.”

His father warns, “Scooter, you’re a full-grown man, now. I can’t stop you from going to Texas. But I have to warn you… **EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS!** You can’t be prepared for how absolutely hug...

Racing a bear

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks up to a steaming heap of brown matter..

He stops. "Sure looks like shit to me", he mumbles to himself.

He bends down, and with his nose next to it, he takes a deep breath. ""Sure smells like shit to me", he says.

He gently pushes three fingers deep into the brown matter. "Darn sure feels like shit to me", he exclaims.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is there any way to tell how your poop will come out? Runny or firm? Brown or green?

Or is it all by process of elimination?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a hardware store...

you know the type, the independent store that barely survives and sells EVERYTHING, but rarely has a customer, how they are still trading is a miracle. Anyway, the man approaches the counter and asks the shopkeeper "I need a budgie file".

"A budgie file?" The shopkeeper muses out-loud, "not h...

Three Irish brothers were traveling in the country and walk into a bar to have a beer.

They take a seat at the bar and as the bartender gives them their pints, he says, "Listen fellas, you're not from round here, so I need to warn you about Ugly Tom. He is a very large unit and angers quickly. But he is a bit self conscious because he doesn't have any ears. He comes in here each ni...

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

I didn't want to believe the racist man in the brown face was the Prime Minister of Canada

It's Trudeau!

A man was driving a rental car along a old mountain road in Eastern Europe at night when he started having engine problems

Unable to get a signal on his mobile phone, he saw a lit building not far off and made it there just as the car stalled. Getting out of the car, he knocked on the door. A monk in a brown habit opened the door.

"Good evening, brother!" greeted the monk. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm ver...

I woke up this morning to find my patio covered in little brown squishy piles surrounded by little frog-like footprints.

I think they must be toad stools.

What is brown, sticky, and walks through the desert?

A caramel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser?

Depth perception.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How much milk do these cows give?

Probably copy and paste from somewhere. Posted it on FB years ago. Always makes me laugh.

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interview...

A recent study has shown TSA random searches are in fact random

After hundreds of hours of observation at dozens of airports researchers were able to say with a high degree of confidence that TSA searches are applied randomly. The frequency of brown skinned men entering the line was highly variable and had no discernible pattern.

What's the difference between a brown bear on a bicycle and a black bear on a bicycle?

Bearly much, they're bicycly the same.

Knock knock

Who's there


What's up


What's up who??



That brown sticky thing that comes out of your ass

Did you hear about Antonio Brown's wedding?

He got cold feet.

Why did the fruit salad turn brown so fast?

It had too much melonin it

Offensive crayon ideas!

Presidential Orange

Miscarriage Maroon

Privilege White

Travel Ban Brown

Lives Matter Black

"I should have known better than to talk to him like that, these bruises are my fault" Blue

What animal has two gray legs and two brown legs?



An elephant with diarrhea

What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rihanna?

I'd hit that....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I knew Antonio Brown was a rapist before the accusation

He fucked over two nfl teams i the last 2 years.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other

"You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child,...

There once was a pirate captain who was regarded as the bravest person in his ship .

Every battle, when his crew reported to him that there was an enemy ship, he would say, “Bring me my red shirt!” Every time he wore that red shirt, his ship would defeat the enemy without fail.

This went on for a long time. Eventually, one deckhand became curious. “Captain,” he asked, “Why do...

What's Chris Brown's favorite part of any song?

The beat

A king fighting along side his army...

'How many of them are there?' asked the king from his captains
'About twenty thousand of them, my lord' said the captain.
'Fine, hand my my red cape then'.

The captain confused asked 'Why the red cape my lord?'
'So If I get wounded in battle the men will not see me bleed and th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.