What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

What’s brown, round, and if you give it a map it’ll still get lost?

Dora the Explorer

What’s brown, and sounds like a bell?

DUNNNNNG!

Little Bobby was in class and wrote “ICK” on his desk with a pencil. He dared little Jimmy to write a “D” at the beginning. The teacher, Mr. Brown, saw the whole thing. As Jimmy wrote the “D” the teacher approached them and Bobby blamed it all on poor Jimmy. Mr Brown shouted . . .

“Bobby!!! You penciled ick!!” Mr. Brown was fired for using profanity.

Roses are brown, violets are grey

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

>!It's becoming a real problem at the traffic lights I'm afraid to say!<

I woke up this morning to find my patio covered in little brown squishy piles surrounded by little frog-like footprints.

I think they must be toad stools.

Why did Chris Brown and Rhianna get back together?

Beats me.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her ?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

New 911 audio recordings of Chris Browns assault on Rihanna has been released to the public for the first time.

It’s called Chris Browns greatest hits.

What is brown and sticky?

The prime minister of Ukraine's nose

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes.

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

I didn't want to believe the racist man in the brown face was the Prime Minister of Canada

It's Trudeau!

Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar....

Demerara.

Why did the fruit salad turn brown so fast?

It had too much melonin it

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I knew Antonio Brown was a rapist before the accusation

He fucked over two nfl teams i the last 2 years.

What is brown, sticky, and walks through the desert?

A caramel.

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A man walks up to a steaming heap of brown matter..

He stops. "Sure looks like shit to me", he mumbles to himself.

He bends down, and with his nose next to it, he takes a deep breath. ""Sure smells like shit to me", he says.

He gently pushes three fingers deep into the brown matter. "Darn sure feels like shit to me", he exclaims.
...

A blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes going around and decided to dye her hair brown.

She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allow...

What's brown and sits in a courtroom?

Jury doody

Did you hear about Antonio Brown's wedding?

He got cold feet.

What's Chris Brown's favorite part of any song?

The beat

What's the difference between a brown bear on a bicycle and a black bear on a bicycle?

Bearly much, they're bicycly the same.

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Do you know the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser?

Depth perception.

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As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties and the marital counselor said I needed to do something..."

"...sexy to a tractor.”

I always have that dream being in a fake taxi with Charlie Brown.

It's driving me nuts.

Why can't Antonio Brown get married?

Because he has cold feet!!!

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So Chris Brown is expecting a baby.

Guess Rhianna isn't the only one who's ass is getting slapped before the black eyes.

What is brown and hides in the attic ?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

What's chris browns favourite song?

Hit me baby one more time.

What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rihanna?

I'd hit that....

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and b...

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a shit

Roses are red, Acorns are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Turner brown

A dwarf was riding an elevator.
In comes a big man.
The man says: I’m 6ft 5 tall, I’m 3ft 9 wide, my dick is 15 inches long and my name is Turner Brown.
The dwarf passed out. When he woke up, he said “what was the last thing you said?”
The big man answered, I said “my name is Turner B...

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Horse and Chicken were standing in farmer Brown's yard. [Long]

Horse was standing in the biggest puddle of mud you ever did see, not paying attention to anything. Before he knew it, he had sunk up to his haunches and couldn't get out.
"Help me Chicken!" He cried. "Go get Farmer Brown to pull me out with his tractor"
"Can't!" Squawked Chicken. "Farmer Brow...

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what did the sexy brown chicken say to the sexy brown cow?

brown-chicka-brown-cow!!

What animal has two gray legs and two brown legs?



An elephant with diarrhea

I was gonna make a chris brown joke,

But he beat me to the punch

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

What is brown, has four legs, green fur and if it falls from a tree, it kills you?

A pool table!

What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brown...

Artifical intelligence.

I was going for a club where it was this rule - "people only with Brown Bow tie are allowed".

I entered the club and saw people were wearing other clothes too.

A blond and two brown haired girls are playing hide and seek

The first girl hides in a dog crate with a towel over it when the it comes by she says woof woof the it goes right by the second girl hides in a cat crate and when the it goes by she says meow meow the blond hides in a potato sack and when the it comes by she screams POTATO NOISES.

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The black and the brown cow

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flum...

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Never say hello to a Brown bear's arse

You'll meet a grizzly end...

What’s long, brown, and toothless?

The unemployment line in Georgia.

Guy walks into a bar with a brown paper bag and orders a beer. The barman delivers but notices something moving in the bag and asks what's in it.

Guy puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a small piano, then a tiny chair and finally a miniature guy in a tuxedo that proceeds to sit down and play.

"That's amazing," says the barman. "Where did you get him?"

Guy pulls a genie's lamp out of his jacket.

"Wow, do you mind if I ...

3 women of different hair colours get shipwrecked on a small desert island 1km away from a civilised island.

The first woman, who has brown hair, attempts to swim to the civilised island, but only gets 200 metres before getting tired and swimming back. The next woman, with black hair, sees the first one’s attempt and also tries. She gets 400 metres before tiring and swimming back. The blonde then has a try...

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What's pink and slippery?

Pink slippers


What's brown and runny?

Usain bolt

Racing a bear

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second...

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said “Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?”

“No, I didn’t know that.” The man replied.

“So what color are your wife’s eyes?” asked the friend.

The man replied, “I’m too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home and find out.”

So the man hurries home to find his wife in bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife’s ey...

I like my boys how I like my whiskey.

Brown and 10 years old

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I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

Chris Brown's girlfriend walked into a bar.

That's his story and he's sticking to it.

My least favourite colour is brown.

I hate it more than all the other colours combined.

3 blondes are lost in the desert

They come across a river that they have to get over, but it's swarming with crocodiles.

Luckily, a genie just happened to pass by on his flying carpet. He said: "Ah, you are lucky! As I have found you here, I will grant each of you one wish."

The first blonde wished she was an excellen...

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Brown Paper Larry

A cowboy rides into town and sees a few guys working on a gallows. The cowboy dismounts and calls out, "Hey, sheriff, when's the hangin'?"

The sheriff says, "Saturday. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."

The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"

"...

What happens when a red pirate ship and a brown pirate ship meet on a deserted island?

They get marooned

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Two guys are camping in the outback

They have been drinking quite heavily and one goes to take a piss in the bush.

A few minutes later he hears a scream and his mate comes back holding his penis.

“Fuck mate, i went to take a piss and pissed right down the hole of an eastern brown snake, he flew out and bit me right on ...

What's big and green, brown and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would certainly kill you?

A pool table... (A billiards table)

All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I'm the people. All I do...

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So I went to Japan on holiday,

and I had a very close online Japanese friend I met on a Guitar Hero forum, and we arranged to meet up.

I thought he was a guy, but then this really cute girl with short, brown hair shows up, easily a 9/10. She's called Nao and even though it's the first time we had met in real life, we get a...

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