The 68+ Best Brown Jokes

Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

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Rihanna was asked; "why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?"

She replied:

"Beats the hell outta me"

How did Chris Browns girlfriend find out he was cheating on her?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

If Will Smith, Amber Heard, and Chris Brown formed a band, what would its name be?

The Heavy Hitters.

Before Chris Brown did a concert with them, they were just known as "The Peas".

And now they are The ......... Peas

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Whats Long Brown and Sticky?

I forgot the punchline, Shit,

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!

Roses are brown, violets are grey

I just found out I'm colorblind today.

How many Cleveland Browns fans does it take to change a light bulb?

Both of them.

A guy walks into a bar wearing a Browns jersey and carrying a cat that also has a Browns jersey on with a little Browns helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Browns game here?
My TV at home is broke, and my cat and I always watch the game together."

The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but
it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can ...

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown ?

Artificial intelligence

Why did the baker have brown fingers?

Coz he kneaded a poo.

Ever heard of Adolph the Brown-nosed reindeer?

His brakes don’t work

A blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes going around and decided to dye her hair brown.

She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allow...

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How to catch a brown bear

First you need to dig a hole. But it's gotta be a big ass hole because you are going to fit a brown bear in there. Next you need to start a fire inside of the hole. After the fire dies completely out take the ashes from that fire and spread them all around the inside of the hole. After that take a c...

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What's the difference between an ass-kisser and a brown-nose?

Depth perception.

I hired a guy to stain my entry way but he used a very deep brown color that I don’t like.

So I fired him and told him to “never darken my door again.”

What’s brown and sticky?

My boomerang that won’t come back.

I used to enjoy the Snoopy & Charlie Brown comic strips in the Sunday papers, but lately I've been getting a rash after reading them.

I think I've developed an allergy to Peanuts.

You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game?

It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots.

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Chris Brown is releasing a new album

It's called "My Greatest hits", There is some hard hits feat. Rihanna, Usher and a lot of unconfirmed "Artists".

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?

An elephant with diarrhea

A blonde woman who recently died her hair brown stops by a sheep ranch...

She talks to the rancher and makes a deal with him. She tells him she'll guess exactly how many sheep he has in exchange to be able to take one home.

She guesses 692. Amazed, the rancher lets her select her prize. While she was putting her pick in her car the rancher says, "If I guess your re...

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing in front of them.

.The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’

‘I don’t need to outrun th...

Brown Pants

During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.

After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner “Sir, we have been wondering why Brit...

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Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty."

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Turner Brown Long NSFW

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down at
the Irishman and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds
of testicles, Turner Brown"
...

I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record...

...she called me a riceist

What’s black and brown and looks great on a lawyer?

A Doberman.

A blonde is tired of being teased, so she dies her hair brown and moves to the countryside...

A blonde is tired of being teased, so she dyes her hair brown and moves to the countryside. As she’s driving home one day she spots a farmer leaning on a fence chewing a piece of straw.

“Ha, I’m going to put one over on that dumb farmer!”, she says to herself, pulling over.

“Greetings,...

What were James Brown's last words?

I don't feel good

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation, lol!

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A big, burly, 6’10” 283lb guy walks into a bar carrying a brown box...

Everyone is staring quietly because of the sheer size of some random guy seemingly on a mission.

He walks up to the counter and orders two shots of whiskey. After downing them both in succession, he reaches into the box and pulls out a huge snapping turtle, shows it to everyone around. Then t...

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Guy walks into a bar with a brown paper bag and orders a beer. The barman delivers but notices something moving in the bag and asks what's in it.

Guy puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a small piano, then a tiny chair and finally a miniature guy in a tuxedo that proceeds to sit down and play.

"That's amazing," says the barman. "Where did you get him?"

Guy pulls a genie's lamp out of his jacket.

"Wow, do you mind if I ...

I was going to post a Michael Brown joke..

..but I'm afraid it would just get shot down.

Which artist has a brown finger?

Picasso

My brother doesn't like brown rice

He's a rice-ist

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

What's brown, smelly and sits on top of a piano?

Beethoven's Last Movement

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The black and brown cows

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows produce a day?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: I see. Wha...

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What is the difference between a kiss ass and a brown noser?

Depth perception

What do you call someone who hates brown rice?

Ricist.

Any loving's good loving, so I took what I could get. Then she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said

Woof.

What did the brown gerbil say to the white gerbil?

"You must be new here."

Did you hear about the ship that crashed on an island with a cargo of red and brown paint?

Apparently the whole crew was marooned.

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Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting.

He traveled
up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on
his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake. That bear is my cousin, I’m going to give you two choices. Either I mau...

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

Why didn't Doc Brown cross the road?

Because where he went they don't need no roads.

On a side note, after watching that movie again I actually saw him use a banana that was rotten or whatever instead of plutonium for fuel...

What happened when Chris Brown bought the mansion next to Rihanna's?

\[Ri moved\]

Blonde dyes her hair brown, because she's tired of all the blonde jokes

this blonde girl dies her hair brown because she's tired of all the jokes she decides to take a ride one day in her convertible. She's got the top down and she's cruising up an Old country road.And comes across this sheep herder. So she stops and pokes her head over the convertible and says excuse m...

What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement?

A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.

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A man walks into a bar with a brown paper bag.

He goes to the bar and starts to pull things out of the paper bag. First he pulls out a tiny little piano. He then pulls out a tiny little bench for the piano. Finally he pulls out a tiny little man and sits him down on the bench at the piano. The little man starts playing beautiful piano music. ...

The Charlie Brown Foundation is now accepting donations.

All proceeds go towards good grief counsellors.

What happened when the brown chicken met the brown cow?

Brown-chicken-brown-cow

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I was hiking with my girlfriend, when suddenly, a really pissed off brown bear started charging at us...

Maybe her cubs were nearby, I don't know, but I've never seen such a crazed bear before in my life!

Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.

One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took and I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

How does Chris Brown's girlfriend know that he cheated?

Different shade of lipstick on his knuckles.

A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair; the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, “honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?” The wife said, “I swear to all that is holy, he is your son.”

Then the husband died, and his wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

I have green skin, a nose three times the size of the horn on my head, four brown teeth and my neck is covered in furry scales... what am I?

Ugly!

Jokes about white sugar are rare enough, but jokes about brown sugar?

Demerara

Farmer Browns pigs

Farmer Brown has a bunch of pigs that are all female. He decides to breed them to increase the size of his herd. So he calls his friend farmer Jones and asks if he can bring his sows over to mate with farmer Jones' boars. Farmer Jones agrees, so next morning, farmer Brown loads all his pigs into ...

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A bull, a brown cow and a white cow.

A boy was watching the pasture field while his mom collected eggs in the hen house. Suddenly he runs in the hen house yelling.

Son: MAMA, MAMA, GUESS WHAT?!

Mom: What son?

Son: I WAS WATCHING THE PASTURE FIELD AND THERE WAS A BULL, A BROWN COW, AND A WHITE COW! THE BULL WENT UP...

If Alex Jones and Chris Brown were both on fire and you only had one fire extinguisher...

Where would you hide it?

Clarence the brown-nosed reindeer.

He was right behind Rudolf, he could fly just as fast as him, but could never stop as quick as Rudolf.

I couldn't remember what the brown rough stuff was on the outside layer of tree trunks...

I asked my cat and she said, "Meow". No help.

I asked my bird and he said, "Tweet". Useless.

I asked my dog and they said "Rhytidome, you buffoon."

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So I handle financial transactions for a multibillion dollar company and I am working and this complete bitch with brown hair walks into my store and you know what she says to me?

Woof woof woof woof woof.

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