What’s brown and rhymes with “snoop?”

Dr. Dre.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her ?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar....

Demerara.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.



Sorry everyone.

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A man walks up to a steaming heap of brown matter..

He stops. "Sure looks like shit to me", he mumbles to himself.

He bends down, and with his nose next to it, he takes a deep breath. ""Sure smells like shit to me", he says.

He gently pushes three fingers deep into the brown matter. "Darn sure feels like shit to me", he exclaims.
...

What's brown and sits in a courtroom?

Jury doody

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I knew Antonio Brown was a rapist before the accusation

He fucked over two nfl teams i the last 2 years.

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes.

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

What is brown and sticky?

A stick

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Do you know the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser?

Depth perception.

Did you hear about Antonio Brown's wedding?

He got cold feet.

I always have that dream being in a fake taxi with Charlie Brown.

It's driving me nuts.

A blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes going around and decided to dye her hair brown.

She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allow...

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As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties and the marital counselor said I needed to do something..."

"...sexy to a tractor.”

What's chris browns favourite song?

Hit me baby one more time.

What's Chris Brown's favorite part of any song?

The beat

Why can't Antonio Brown get married?

Because he has cold feet!!!

What's the difference between a brown bear on a bicycle and a black bear on a bicycle?

Bearly much, they're bicycly the same.

What is brown and hides in the attic ?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and b...

Why was George Michael's face brown

He got careless with a wispa

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So Chris Brown is expecting a baby.

Guess Rhianna isn't the only one who's ass is getting slapped before the black eyes.

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What did the sexy chicken say to the sexy cow?

Brown-chicken-brown-cow

I lost 40 pounds this year.

On an unrelated note, if you see a 6 year old boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Please contact me.

What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rihanna?

I'd hit that....

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Turner brown

A dwarf was riding an elevator.
In comes a big man.
The man says: I’m 6ft 5 tall, I’m 3ft 9 wide, my dick is 15 inches long and my name is Turner Brown.
The dwarf passed out. When he woke up, he said “what was the last thing you said?”
The big man answered, I said “my name is Turner B...

How do you turn a pizza brown?

Eat it.

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a shit

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Horse and Chicken were standing in farmer Brown's yard. [Long]

Horse was standing in the biggest puddle of mud you ever did see, not paying attention to anything. Before he knew it, he had sunk up to his haunches and couldn't get out.
"Help me Chicken!" He cried. "Go get Farmer Brown to pull me out with his tractor"
"Can't!" Squawked Chicken. "Farmer Brow...

What is brown, has four legs, green fur and if it falls from a tree, it kills you?

A pool table!

Roses are red, Acorns are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

I was gonna make a chris brown joke,

But he beat me to the punch

What animal has two gray legs and two brown legs?



An elephant with diarrhea

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Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

I was going for a club where it was this rule - "people only with Brown Bow tie are allowed".

I entered the club and saw people were wearing other clothes too.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brown...

Artifical intelligence.

Breaking News: Chris Brown has made another hit.

And in other news, his new song is selling well.

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Never say hello to a Brown bear's arse

You'll meet a grizzly end...

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender delivers it, the cowboy looks around and notices the bar is completely deserted other than himself and the bartender...

"Where is everybody? This place is usually packed this time of day," the cowboy says.

The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," says the bartender.

"What kind of name is that? Why do they call him Brown Pap...

A blond and two brown haired girls are playing hide and seek

The first girl hides in a dog crate with a towel over it when the it comes by she says woof woof the it goes right by the second girl hides in a cat crate and when the it goes by she says meow meow the blond hides in a potato sack and when the it comes by she screams POTATO NOISES.

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

The black and the brown cow

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flum...

Guy walks into a bar with a brown paper bag and orders a beer. The barman delivers but notices something moving in the bag and asks what's in it.

Guy puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a small piano, then a tiny chair and finally a miniature guy in a tuxedo that proceeds to sit down and play.

"That's amazing," says the barman. "Where did you get him?"

Guy pulls a genie's lamp out of his jacket.

"Wow, do you mind if I ...

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said “Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?”

“No, I didn’t know that.” The man replied.

“So what color are your wife’s eyes?” asked the friend.

The man replied, “I’m too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home and find out.”

So the man hurries home to find his wife in bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife’s ey...

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I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

Chris Brown's girlfriend walked into a bar.

That's his story and he's sticking to it.

Why does Chris Brown still have a job?

Beats me.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What's pink and slippery?

Pink slippers


What's brown and runny?

Usain bolt

My least favourite colour is brown.

I hate it more than all the other colours combined.

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Brown Paper Larry

A cowboy rides into town and sees a few guys working on a gallows. The cowboy dismounts and calls out, "Hey, sheriff, when's the hangin'?"

The sheriff says, "Saturday. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."

The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"

"...

What's big and green, brown and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would certainly kill you?

A pool table... (A billiards table)

What happens when a red pirate ship and a brown pirate ship meet on a deserted island?

They get marooned

What's dead, brown, and covered in sand?

Shamima Begum's kids.

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on...

Guy walks into a bar with brown robes on and the bartender asks "what’s with the robes, you just get out of a Renaissance faire?”


He replies, ”No I’m a Carmelite priest.”

The bartender exclaims "I’ll be damned!”

He answers “I hope not!"

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

a doberman

A blonde dyes her hair brown and goes for a drive in the countryside

While she is driving, she stops for a shepherd who is crossing with some sheep.
She asks,"If I can guess the amount of sheep you have, can I keep one?"
The shepherd replies,"Sure, why not"
So the blonde (now brunette) thinks for a while and says,"261"
The number is right, so the shepherd...

What’s Chris Brown’s favorite type of music?

Beatbox

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

If brown cake tastes like chocolate and white cake tastes like vanilla, what does yellow cake taste like?

Uranium

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Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty."

What do you call an artist with a brown finger?

Picasso.

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

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What’s brown and sticky?

Reposts.

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