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High Horse Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 stoners buy a horse

They go home with the horse and make it stay in the living room.

One of the friends pull out a bong and they all take hits until they're stoned.

While stoned they come up with an idea to have fun with the horse.

They attach a feeding muzzle onto the horse and funnel in smoke fro...

Fine, I'll get of my high horse!

But you really should STOP giving the horses edibles, you know?

Someone once told me to get off my high horse.

A blunt and lots of lube later, I was able to do just that.

What's a vegan's favorite animal?

The high horse.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to get on their high horse and the other to chastise them for oppressing the horse.

What do you call an arrogant pony on drugs

A high horse

my wife told me to stop making animal metaphors because it makes me a bad person

she should get off her high horse!

Why do techno snobs love acid and ketamine so much?

Cuz they can't get over their high horse without tripping.

A preacher rides into a town in the old west...

As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"

The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of peyote and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you...

I'm so amazing. I just rode my thoroughbred through a poppy field

But I should get off my high horse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A message for all the weed smoking equestrians

Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on

Well, I just got a very bitter complaint that the polo mallet I sold on ebay was too short

I told him to get off his high horse

My buddy was on his mustang after feeding it edibles.

I kept telling him to get off his high horse.

My friends get mad because I always do the opposite of what they do.

They're all sitting on their high horse, I under stand though.

Did you hear about the girl who got in an accident riding a stoned stallion?

She got knocked off her high horse

My friend only feeds the highest quality drugs to their animals.

I told them to get off their high horse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather, a Vietnam veteran,hooked up with a Viet girl a few years after the war.

He told me the story of how they met at a bar, and how he took her home that night, and how he began having PTSD flashbacks as soon as she undressed.

"Why's that?" I asked him.

"It was just like the war," he said. "I couldn't see the Vietnamese in all the bush."

\----

Be...

Jerry sat proudly on his hazey steed

"Look at this!" He said, "I gave my horse a few puffs of the good herb, and he still managed to climb this towering mountain!"

"Get off your high horse, Jerry." I replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Uncle Jack

You are a farmer. Your father owns the farm. You live with your father Jim, your mother Ruth, your uncle Jack, and your brother Michael. Your father is in charge of the farm, so he takes care of all of the animals, the crops, and manual labor. Your mother cooks and cleans. Your brother is too young ...

My brother and I own adjacent farms

The other day he rode over to complain that I was growing marijuana on his side of the fence.

I told him to get off his high horse.

A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.

Once it started, the jockey couldn't control it as it veered off track. So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldn't get off his high horse..

Was out on the trusty steed this evening, riding through the woods...

Suddenly we came to a stop and he began to nibble on some weeds. I decided not to protest until I realized he was eating what appeared to be a pot plant. He began to wobble a little and I couldn't help but think, I probably need to get off my high horse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The fire department gets a call about smoke coming from a barn... [NSFW]

The fire department gets a call about smoke coming from a barn. They break down the barn door, and find a young couple with a sleepy-looking Shetland pony. With one hand, the woman is holding a huge bong and blowing marijuana smoke in the pony's face. With her other hand, she is vigorously stroking...

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