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My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a shag, has great tits and even swallows.

But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

I'm considering a job installing mirrors, the pay isn't great

But it's a job I can see myself doing

The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...

..."This is the whey"



(Sorry)

Great performance!

There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally, after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, ”This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You must walk onto the...

Beavers are great dam builders and Canada's national animal.

That's why Canada is the best damn country in the world!

Lockdown was great! I didn't work, i didn't socialise, i barely left the house.

Same as usual, except i didn't feel guilty.

Patient: "I pay $65,000 a year for the new Biogen Alzheimers drug Aduhelm and it works great"

Patient: "I pay $65,000 a year for the new Biogen Alzheimers drug Aduhelm and it works great"

Doctor: You just told me that.

Patient: "I pay $65,000 a year for the new Biogen Alzheimers drug Aduhelm and it works great"

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My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...

Do I Keep The Letters?

I heard 2 older married couples talking when one of the men told the other he went to a great restaurant.

When he was asked what it was called he looked puzzled and said "what's that flower, the one people always give?"

"A rose?"

"Yes! Rose, that's it" he then looks at the woman beside him "hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?"

Not only was Stephen Hawking a great physicist, he was also a great comedian.

Sadly, his stand-up wasn’t very good.

You have to admire Amish people for their great sense of self-derision. You can find tons of jokes making fun of them on Reddit...

But you never see one of them writing a disapproving comment below.

I read somewhere that WD40 is great from keeping mice out of your garden.

I tried it... It doesn't work!!

However they have stopped squeaking.

Incest isn’t great..

But it’s relatively fun

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What's great on pie but terrible on pussy...?

Crust

Ok, this isn't a great joke, but...

So a boy has been getting dropped off at his grandpa's house after school because of his parents' work schedule. The grandpa makes the boy dinner everyday and at one point the boy notices some crust on the plate.

He asks his grandpa "Why is there crust on my plate?" To which grandpa replies "...

What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

Without a doubt, Robin Williams is great.

Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

I came up with a really great statistics joke, but no statistician wanted to hear it.

So I asked them why and they told me, statistically speaking, most of what you say is boring.

What do you call an honest man with great teeth?

Toothfull

Jack and John decided to go skiing.

They loaded up their mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they were caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door,if they could spend the night.

"I realize its terrible weather out there and I have thi...

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Why are stormtroopers great for casual sex?

When they shoot, they miss.

I came up with a great science joke, but the scientists didn't take it seriously enough to laugh at.

They told me it hadn't been peer reviewed.

The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great.

How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”...

King Pharaoh: I have a great business opportunity for you...

Israelites: Umm, is this not a pyramid scheme?

My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

Four Catholic women are sitting in a cafe sipping their tea, talking about their great sons. Soon it begins as a contest to see who has the best son.

The first woman proudly declares, "My son is a priest. When he

walks into a room people call him

'Father."

The second woman replies even more proudly, "My son is a bishop, when he walks into a room people call him 'My Grace."

The third woman thinking she wins replies, "My...

I just found out that my great grandfather was on the Titanic.

And as far as I know, he still is !!

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Dad, a girl invited me over to her house

"Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises... Actually, no. I don't trust you, son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget." ...

Today is a good day, not great, not bad, you know, just good.

I rate this day 5/7

I used to have a friend that was great at golf.

They had a stroke.

A degree in agriculture is great to have.

It allows you to work in a variety of fields.

I used to date a comedian. Things were going great until they met my parents.

They made a bad impression.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great saying,

but it's a horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."


"No problem, just let ...

How do great scientists like to eat their peppers?

All fried. No bell.

This one is mine, so it's not great, but I like it....

A guy named Bob works in an oil refinery, and since he only lives about a mile from the plant, he just rides his bicycle in every day. There only inconvenience is he has to carry his bike across a catwalk that stretches over numerous vats of oil being refined.

One day, he stumbles and *gloop...

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The Great Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jews, so the Pope agreed to debate with a member of their community. If the Jews won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

Knowing they had no choic...

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I am a really great multitasker...

I can fuck up many things at a time...

I’ve heard a lot of puns in my lifetime, some great, others horrible

But I think the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Happy cake day to me

what do you call a dinosaur with a great vocabulary?

a thesaurus

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was Impossible to put down.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, ...

why are bees great at games

they are hard to bee-t

USB is a great backup.

Especially if USA fails

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Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car...

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a

car...



... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heise...

My great grandfather, grandfather, and father were born without legs.

I guess it runs in the- wait a minute

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A man sitting at a bar told the bartender, “my grandmother had a great ass.”

The bartender was shocked. “Jesus, man, you gotta be fucking sick to talk about your grandmother that way.” The man got mad, “Jesus Christ, come on! I’m not talking about her rear end, she had a donkey, it lived forever, and worked hard for her.” The bartender apologized. Later on the man said, a l...

All the teachers in my school were great. Apart from one. She hated girls. What was her name?

Miss Ogyny

Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.

I couldnt find toilet paper anywhere at Walmart, so I finally found an associate wearing the signature yellow vest, and asked, " Is there toilet paper anywhere in this store?"

She looked me up and down and said, "We've been out of toilet paper for over a week."

Imagine my embarrassment...

As a Nevadan, I'm tired of people insinuating that we can't count. We are a great state filled with intelligent people. In fact, I can list off 20 ways we are better than our neighboring states.

Just let me take my shoes and socks off first.

Nothing beats a girl with a great singing voice

Except Chris Brown

I’m on this great new drug to control my Tourette Syndrome.

I swear by it.

Throughout WWII, my great-grandfather was responsible for 43 German planes going down.

He was the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe.

Killer whales are great musicians but there's one instrument they just won't play

The orcana

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I ...

My great great grandparents sacrificed a lot for our family. So as an Alabamian, family values are important to me...

I have to honor my incestors.

A man asks his wife “how many truly great men do you think there are in the world?”

She replies:

I don’t know, but I can tell you this: there is one fewer than you think.

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,

- Doesn't need heating,

But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:

- Has great packaging.

Why did Pavlov have such great hair?

He conditioned it well!

Great grandma calling her shot

My great grandmother was notorious for kind of edgy but hilarious jokes.. she also lived to 103 and 50 weeks.

At her funeral her daughter told my brother and I about the last time she saw her. She said she was getting everything together to leave and had told her mother goodbye and that she’...

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I was desperate and I couldn't get a date with a girl to save my life until...

I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn't expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400 lbs of desperation, but she answer the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right place...

y=mx+b jokes are great...

but at some point we'll have to draw the line.

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Sensei, I’ve been training for years, and I’m not getting any stronger. What’s going on?

“Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?”

“Yes.”

“Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?”

“Yes.”

“Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?”...

Mike Tyson is a great listener

After all, he has 3 ears

4 former US Presidents are caught in a tornado

Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.

After trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter...

Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

Both of them have a great time.

I visited my Great-Grampa yesterday and found him in tears with emotion

When I asked what was going on, He answered:

So many years ago, I fought in World War I. At some point, I saw a German, he saw me, we both aimed at each other but he was quicker and shot first. He missed me. In shock, I just ran away, never to see him again… or so I thought.

You see, s...

I could be a great fortune teller.

But something tells me I have no future in it.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

Best Husband Ever!

The Perfect Husband:
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

...

Why do piano players make great lovers.?

They get the fingering right.

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I'm looking for a woman who has great tits and swallows

Signed: Ben the ornithologist

Top joke in my second grade class this week: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer.

great news guys when you get the 2nd dose of the vaccine they promote you to

a superpfizer

What do you call a large reptile who's great with directions?

A good navi-gator.

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and their descendants included senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.
Only one problem arose, how to handle great-uncle George, the criminal, who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle the story tactfully.
The book...

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, th...

Great twist

Wife: look at that drunk guy
Husband: who is he
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him
Husband: oh my god he is still celebrating...

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way...

Maybe being a tour guide wasn't such a great idea after all.

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

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Great joke, particularly for married people.

The director of the CIA is testing loyalty of 3 new agents, ages 25, 35, and 45.  He puts each of their wives in 1 of 3 rooms.  He hands the 25 year old a gun and says, "go into the room and kill your wife."  The 25 year old says, "I can't do it, I love her too much."  The director hands the gun to ...

I heard of the infantry and thought it sounded great!

I just sent my toddler there!

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"

"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"

That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can ...

I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes...

but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.

As a rock salesman, I've had great success with money.

Sometimes I take it for granite.

My great-grandpa died in Auschwitz

He was really drunk and fell off a watchtower

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Colonel Isaev, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War, is invited to a school in Leningrad

He is telling the children about his days as a soldier in the Red Army and his war exploits. When he finishes, he asks the children if they have any questions.

Vovochka raises his hand, and the teacher tenses up.

"When I grow up, I want to be an intelligence officer and protect my Glor...

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A man was being sold a very cheap suit.

“But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm,” he complained.

“That’s why the suit is such a bargain,” the sales clerk explained. “Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this.”

“But the right leg is way too shor...

I heard a great car joke the other day.

It really hit on all cylinders.

A women would be great archeologists

They always love to dig up the past

I think I thought of a great joke about yoga

But you might need to help me with the punchline, it's a bit of a stretch.

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A louse enters the employment bureau and says, "I'm unemployed, what to do?"

The clerk looks at the computer and says, "I can offer you a job in Danny's mustache."

"Great", says the louse, and the next day she goes to work.

Two days later she comes back, "I can not work in Danny's mustache - He smokes a lot, and I have asthma."

"Well", says the clerk, ...

An engineer dies and goes to hell

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor is jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to t...

I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tears. "Great!" I said.

"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"

Who knew what blondes know?

It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:

Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.”

“The next question will give you the top prize of $1 million dollars,
if you get it right. But if you get it wrong, you will dr...

A man and woman are on a first date, everything is going great between them.

The man suggests they go to a local milk bar to share a milkshake, but the woman declines, saying she can’t have that stuff. Whilst searching for somewhere else to go, a car comes out of nowhere barreling towards them. The man is able to push his date out of the way, but the car runs over his foot, ...

Einstein and His Driver.

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all o...

A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"

"For drinking." replies the cop.

"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"



(credit to "Fact and Fun" on youtube)

These Britishers are great !!

These Britishers are great !!



British PM Boris Johnson has been blessed with a baby boy from his girlfriend.



Johnson and Johnson have come out with a single dose Covid vaccine .



They let out an ad featuring the PM with his kid and their vaccine’s name in...

At breakfast, the wife asks her husband “What would you do if I won the Lotto?”

He says, “I’d take my half and leave you.”

She says, "Great. Here's $6, I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch.”

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the Mounties.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.

The Mounties looked at each other. One said,

"We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."
<...

It is with great sorrow that I tell you that My friend passed away

His last words were, "I think that the Chinese gov-"

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great,

but on the other, it's just not right.

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A man asked his local pharmacist, "Do you sell Viagra?"

"Yes we do," he answered.

"Great! Can you get it over the counter?"

"Only if I take two."

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This guy got into a bad accident and ended up losing an arm, his eye and his penis.

He wakes up a few weeks later and is greeted by a strange looking doctor. The doctor explains what happened and tells him he performed an experimental surgery to insure some quality of life following the accident.

The doctor goes on to explain that he gave him a gorilla arm, that was the clos...

People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and controlled news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, America.

What do you call a Donkey Kong game that is set during the Great Depression?

The Apes of Wrath

John and his girlfriend Mary decide to become bank-robbers.

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ...

My grandpa used to sprinkle a tablespoon of gunpowder on his eggs every morning.

Said it gave him energy through the day. When he died at the ripe old age of 96, he left behind a grieving wife, 6 children, 14 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren and a 25 foot hole in the side of the crematorium.

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[NSFW] On Cyber Monday, I got a great deal on a threesome porno

It was a 2-in-1 special

So I met this great girl at a party

I gave her peas.

She gave me herpes.

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Born without a Torso

A young couple goes through the heartbreak of giving birth to a baby who has no torso--the poor lad is just a head. Still, they are good parents and raise him with love, hoping for a breakthrough from medical science. Then, just before the boy's fifth birthday, the parents get a call from their doct...

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're assigned to hell."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they’ve got air-conditioning and flush toilets, escalators, elevators and so on ... and the e...

Mr Singh walks into a bar

_*Mr Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.*_

_*When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; ...

What do you call a dog that's part great dane?

Great danish

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What do you Not want to hear while you're having great sex?

"Honey, I'm home!"

An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery. The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”

“That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says: “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.” The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magi...

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I used to give great blowjobs

Then I sucked and blew the whole thing.

My great grandfather was a communist...

His nickname was "popsickle"

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A businessman was going on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone.

So he went to a sex shop and started looking around. He goes up to the clerk and explains his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, strap ons, eggs, bullets, wing-wangers and fling-flongers..."

The Businessman in...

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Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. The...

What’s the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

yeah I'm great in bed

I've been here for 12 hours

They say drinking one beer a day can prevent you from having a psychotic break, which is great...

...I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Yeah, the NRA sounds great, but personally, I prefer Deer Lovers Anonymous.

You get more bang for your buck.

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century?

Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The great thing about goofy people is that they're always goofing off

Now jerks on the other hand...

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Governor Abbot wants to build a border wall with Mexico...

So, after a period of bidding, his team shortlists a few contractors and bring them for an interview with the Governor...


First, a Mexican contractor shows up:

\- Hi, I'm going to charge 1 million dollars for each mile of wall.
\- And how come it's going to be so cheap? ...

Reddit rules say no jokes involving minors....

That's a shame cos I've got a great one about the coal mine I use to work in.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall ...

A man and woman get married

(An old Jewish joke)

A few weeks into the relationship, she decides to make a delicious roast for dinner. As the husband walks into the kitchen, he sees her slice off a couple inches off each side and toss them into the trash.

"Why did you throw them out? Were they bad?"

"No," ...

Old Man on the Fast Moped

Just remembered this one today. It's a great joke for around a campfire.

\---

Guy's driving down the road in his new Lamborghini. Stops at a light next to an old man on a moped.

The old man looks over and says "Say, that's a pretty spiffy looking car there, son. It looks f...

There are two great financial geniuses in the Bible

One was Noah, who floated his stock while everyone else had to go into liquidation.

The other one was pharaoh's daughter, who went to the bank of the Nile and drew out a prophet.

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Dave decides he's had it with society, and buys some land in the middle of nowhere in Canada......

.... he builds himself an awesome log house, gets a great garden going, and is basically self-sustaining.
After several years, he hears a knock on his door.
With hesitation, he opens the door to find a big ol' Grizzly Adams-looking dude standing there.
"Howdy neighbor!" he says. "...

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A nurse walks into a bank…

A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 2 back to back 12 hour shifts.
She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the surprised teller and, without missing a beat, says, "Well tha...

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Three Nurses working in a morgue discover a Dead Man with a hard on

The 1st Nurse says 'I can't let that go to waste', & rides him. The 2nd Nurse does the same. The 3rd Nurse hesitates & explains she is on her period, but does him anyway. Then the Man sits up & the Nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead. The Man replies 'l was, but after two ju...

Electricity is a great thing...

Without it , we'd be watching television by candlelight

I got mauled by a Great Dane and ended up in intensive care

Come on Scooby Doo, ICU

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. ...

Sensei, I need your advice.

I wish to live to be 100 years old.

- Then get married.

Will that make me live 100 years?

- No! But the wish will fade away.

Thank you great master for your immense wisdom.

The older woman.....

A guy walks into a bar and orders a round of beer for everyone. "My wife just gave birth to my son this morning!" he tells the bartender. "That's great!" the bartender agrees. "I know just how excited you are! My wife just gave birth to my daughter yesterday. Who knows? Maybe someday they'll grow up...

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