UPJOKE
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Drink vodka, play cards

A young man in the USSR has received his first work assignment. He is to work at a train yard helping to move the trains around the yard - a good job, with good promotional potential.

The first day of the job, he arrives at the yard, and entering the yard house he introduces himself, and want...

Two Racehorses Were Discussing Why They Never Win

Racehorse 1: "I don't get it. We eat the best food, have the best training, the best racehorse genes, are so so fast, and yet we never win."

Racehorse 2: "It's heart-breaking, I simply don't understand."

A dog overheard them and said: "If I may interject, I have watched you two closely...

I’ve been teaching my kid to fall forward…

Because his teacher said he will repeat the grade if he continues to fall behind.

My father was a very busy man.

He used to work three jobs to support us, but even then he used to try his best to help me with my studies so that I didn't fall behind.
When I was a kid, he taught me how to count, and I will never forget that.
After 4, comes 5.
After 7, comes 8.
After 10, comes Jack.

A Daddy tomato and a Baby tomato were walking down the street...

...when all of a sudden, Baby tomato started to fall behind, so Daddy tomato turned to Baby tomato and said "Ketchup!"

(I'm really sorry)

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