A newly-married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they'd rented from the groom's parents.
That night, the father of the groom was awakened from his sleep by his wife.
"Tony, listen!" she whispered. He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in...
A C-130 is being escorted by two F-16s.
Tired from following the slow-moving plane, one of the F-16 pilots tells his partner, "Hey watch what I can do." With that, he leaves the C-130's side and performs a series of barrel rolls.
"That's nothing" says the second F-16 pilot and he also leaves his spot and does even more spectacular...
My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making.
Just so I've got something to fall back on.
I walked down the street and saw a man with a mattress strapped to his back
I stopped him and asked what it was for,
He said “you know my father always said I should have something to fall back on”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An elderly woman passes, leaving her life-long husband a lonely widower.
As time goes on, his life begins to unravel as he spirals into a pit of despair. This does not go unnoticed by his adult children, who grasp at any opportunity to cheer him up. Finally, one of them convinces him to grudgingly attend an evening game at the local bingo hall, knowing that he'll be in t...
If I ever run out of dad jokes....
I’ve always got daylight savings time puns to fall back on
Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat.
The Cheerio Joke
Oh boy do I have a joke for you... Its called the cheerio joke.
So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes hom...
Iron deficiency gang rise up
And fall back down
A man was driving home from work when his car broke down in front of a monastery... [LONG]
He knocked on the door and a monk answered. The man said “Mr. monk sir, my car has broken down.” So the monks fixed up his car, fed him, and gave him a place to sleep. At around midnight the man woke up to a deep ominous noise, and it made it hard for him to fall asleep, but he eventually did. When ...
Yale is rescinding Bill Cosby’s honorary degree.
He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.
A fire rages in a high-rise apartment in Germany...
and a woman and her baby are stuck on a high floor, looking out the window. The firetruck's ladder cannot reach them, so the woman contemplates throwing the baby down to the firemen but both the mother and the firemen are scared of maybe not catching the baby.
Then, Manuel Neuer, Germany's...
"Hello Mr. Ress, how have you been?" asked the psychologist.
"I feel as though people use me as something to fall back on." he replied.
"And why do you think that is, Matt?"