Come Into Jokes - 27 Hilarious Come Into Jokes

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A married couple was on holiday in a remote part of the Arab country side. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Arabian accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but he...

I've recently come into a large amount of money

Now it's all stuck together and I regret it

Some Swedish tennis players come into this world born human, some born machine ...

and some bjorn borg.

I had a butcher come into my shop and introduce me to his wife...

He said, "Meet Patty".

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Hung Chow Calls into work and says "Hey boss, I no come into work today, I really Sick...

I got Headache, stomachache, and my legs hurt. I no come to work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and i go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow call...

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books...

Dr calls man & demands he come into the office immediately.

Dr says you remember those tests we ran a couple of days ago? The man say yes. Dr says well I have some bad news and I have some really bad news. The man say well let me have the bad news first. The Dr says you only have 3 days to live & you need to get your affairs in order. The man says, wow...

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Stormy Daniels' testimony: "I felt this huge dick come into me..."

"But I never quite felt his penis."

I've recently come into some money.

It really felt awkward handing it over to the cashier.

"Come into the bedroom and I'll show you a good time." I said to my wife.

When she came up all giggling, I showed her pictures of me and my mates, before I met her.

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I had to call a psychiatrist to come into my bathroom

The toilet had seen some serious shit!

This bloke knocked on my door and said, "Can I come into your house and talk about vacuuming your carpets?"

I am sure he was a Jehoovers Witness.

A fortune teller told me I'd come into big money one day.

I'm now married to my over weight wife called penny.

I've come into a lot of money lately...

It's a fetish I never knew I had until now.

The neighbors were greedy, selfish, rude, and had come into money from their family's milk farm.

They were dairy heirs.

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Women are like Hurricanes

They come into your life wild and free and then leave with the PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU BITCH

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I told my boss I couldn't come into work because I had a bad case of rectal myopia

"What the fuck is rectal myopia?" he asked.

"I can't see my ass getting to the office today."

I've come into a lot of cash recently doing unethical activities

If it wasn't dirty money before, it certainly is now.

Three men are training to be Vladimir Putin's bodyguards

The training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway.

"Sergeant Andreyev, come into the hallway."

"Yes, sir!" Andreyev ...

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A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he’s being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the agent looks over his paperwork and says:

“The reason for your audit is that you live such a lavish lifestyle, yet not much income to justify it. Can you tell me what you do for a living...

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Fred Johnson calls his boss one Friday morning. "I'm sick. I can't come into work..."

His boss gives him the day off, wishing him well. But after he hangs up the phone, he thinks, "Boy, he sounded rough. I better stop by and check on him. Johnson never misses work."

So he drives to the guy's house. He knocks but nobody answers. He gets worried that the guy might need medical a...

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A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded doctors waiting room and approached the desk.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded doctors waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into...

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear that word one more time, I'll quit!"

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at ...

Did you know, when ants come into your house, if there are 2 less than a dozen, you have to let them stay.

They have rights as ten-ants.

Sometimes there are people that come into your life suddenly, make your heart race, and change you forever....

and we call these people, 'the police'.

The man from the bank would repeatedly come into my home when I was baking.

He'd mix my cake batter with a spatula, tell the same old joke, then walk out with a bunch of my stuff. Again and again.

A typical repo stir.

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office...

"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a br...

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