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Classified Ad Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Online classified ad

Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.

Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....

Nevermind.

Season ticket

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not look...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FOUND Lady’s purse left in my car while parked.

A classified ad in the paper:

FOUND Lady’s purse left in my car while parked.

The owner can have same by paying for this ad.

If she will explain to my wife how the purse got in my car, I will

pay for the ad. Phone 555-xxx-7610.

COVID Humor

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerato...

Wikileaks has been experiencing financial difficulties recently.

Would it help if they began running... classified ads?

Dead Ringer

A church's bell ringer passed away. The church posted the job opening in the local newspaper's classified ads and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren't sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it. They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell a...

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