UPJOKE
placewebsitestationlocatelocationcampsitesituationbuildingpostlocalpremisesareawherelocusposition

Sites Jokes

Employee on NSFW Sites...

Boss: What have you been working on the last few hours?


Employee: A graphic display of convergent asynchronous load distribution.


Boss: The tracker flagged you on bukkake sites.


Employee: I stand by my previous statement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Porn sites have a "sort by most viewed" feature!

What's the world coming to?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Be careful of fake eBay sites.

Warning to all men about about a fake eBay site.

Be careful what you buy on eBay.

If you buy stuff on line, be sure to check out the seller carefully.

I just spent $95 + postage, on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to go around to construction sites and give out handjobs.

A Jack off all trades.

Apparently, lots of Canadians use "married but dating" sites.

What a sorry state of affairs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do porn sites have a share to Google+ option?

I don't want my friends knowing I use Google+.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Porn sites should be .cum not .com

I’m serious. It would help with the disambiguation thing

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

All these dating sites are terrible for your self esteem.

If I wanted to feel neglected I’d go sit with my wife.

Watching action movies on shady sites is great.

You get to experience the movie for free that you would usually have to pay for.

The intense hacking scene in which the database needs to be defended from overseas hackers displaying threat messages.

As well as experiencing the supermodel love interest confess her love.

Then ...

I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today

But all of the research sites are down.

Why do real estate agents put their picture on business cards, Facebook pages, web sites, billboards, bus stops, postcards, vehicle wraps, yard signs, and printed ads?

So you’ll know what they looked like 10 years ago.

My girlfriend wanted to visit another country, so I wrote an algorithm that crawls all the travel sites online...

She wanted to go to either Canada or Iran.

Canada, Canada's pretty close, I just ran Canada in about 2 minutes; I found a way that fit our budget.

And Iran, Iran's so far away, I just ran Iran all night and day; I couldn't get a way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call prostitutes on construction sites?

Tricks of the trade

I'm done with dating sites

I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza

I wondered why I was banned from dating sites for paying with Monopoly money.

But apparently that's not legal Tinder.

Women on dating sites are so confusing!

They ask for a "genuine guy" then block you when you send.........proof

The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge.

I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I prefer illegally downloading bangbros videos over watching free sites.

It feels more like I'm the one fucking the porn stars.

An American man is visiting Sydney Australia. Going around seeing all the sites.

Suddenly he is struck by a car, injuring him, and putting him into a coma for 24 hours. He wakes up in the hospital, dazed and disoriented, he just sees the all white room. He hears a voice, and asks the nurse, "Did I come here to die?"
She turns and flatly responds, "Nah mate, you came here yes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old nun was living in a convent next to a construction site

She couldn't help but notice the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch and sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were ...

Wanna hear a joke about construction sites?

Alright, I'm working on it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally clicked an ad for one of those fetish porn sites...

It was fucking shit!

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

How do dating sites in Alabama save money?

They link to Ancestry.com

Dating Sites are all for Perverts

I was going to join a dating site, but no matter which one I tried I realized pretty quick they were supporting perverts. Disgusting! I mean, right on the form it said: Do you want children?

Trump is a genius threatening to attack historical cultural sites in Iran

He knows that the Iranians won't find any of these in the US to retaliate

I've been googling "how to kill myself" and all that's showing up are suicide prevention sites

I'm like how is this good SEO?

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I caught my son googling really sketchy porn sites, and I was completely heartbroken.

We are strictly a Bing family.

Of all the dating sites I've tried, I found the most success on Google.

I just typed in "single girls" and got 49 million matches!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went on one of them sex sites, and I managed to line up a threesome!

A couple of no-shows but I still had fun

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.