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Marvel should use the Hulk in more of its advertising.

He's literally a giant Banner.

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(Old joke) A supermarket opened up next to a small grocer and to show how much cheaper they were put a big sign out the front advertising butter.

The grocer used to sell butter for 50p a packet, but the supermarket advertised it for 49p. The next day the grocer put a big sign on the front saying:

Butter: 48p

The supermarket couldn't afford to lose face so the next day it was loudly advertising:

BUTTER, ONLY 47p

How...

[OC] In my day we used to use subliminal advertising to sell candy.

And, buy gum, it worked!

My new toothpaste is false advertising

It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."

Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.

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A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product...

A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product.

Their CEO goes to an ad agency to inquire about creating a large billboard downtown. He meets with an account executive and explains his need: "We have a good business, but I just feel like most people have never heard of ...

A bloke goes into the job centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologist’s assistant; intrigued, he goes in to find out more…

‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he says to the guy behind the desk.

The job centre guy sorts through his files and replies, ‘Ah yes, I've had quite a few enquiries about this one; the job involves you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist – you have to help them out of ...

Supermarket franchise moves into small town

A big, nationwide operating grocery franchise opened a store in a small, rural town in the midwest. Since there was only a local farmers store across the street, the manager decided to bankrupt the local store and monopolize on the town. So he approached potential customers at the door of the local...

A young baker buys a shop

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin...

Robocop lost his job on the Police force..

He's found new employment advertising for a barber shop

Shave now.. or there will be stubble

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So, some asshole beat up a kid for twirling a sign advertising the local Chinese restaurant

The guy's a raging signophobe

A man walks into a bar and notices a sign advertising "World famous punch!"

The man thinks, "Awesome! I love punch!"

He approaches the bartender and asks, "Hey barkeep, saw your sign. I'd love some punch!"

The bartender replies, "Sure thing buddy, you just have to wait in the line."

The man looks around and doesn't see anything.

A billboard advertising a pie shop read...

'Just 3.14 miles away. '

Why is the Hulk good at advertising?

He’s a huge Banner.

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An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years …

…until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop:
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter – 10 euros
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window: Butter – 9 euros
The next day, the big supermarket had a ...

As well as exercise equipment, Christie Brinkley is now doing advertising for a bicycle parts company.

She's their new spokes model.

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I am sick and tired of companies advertising lies to sell their products

My father said this after watching Condom Advertisement.

Thinking of starting a liquor brand and getting free advertising from the other major labels

I'm going to call it "responsibly"

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Advertising

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine-year-old replies, "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking,...

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On Sunday, I walked into the weapons store one day and noticed a banner advertising sarin gas.

I went up to the cashier and asked, "Isn't this stuff illegal?"

The cashier replied, "This isn't your ordinary sarin. This type helps you lose weight," gesturing towards another banner claiming that inhaling a whiff of it every day would help me lose 50 kilos by the end of the week.

Fe...

The other day I saw a huge sign advertising a bunch of clocks.

I guess it's just a sign of the times.

What do you call a Hobbit who works in advertising?

Billboard Baggins

(From my son (9) who just finished Fellowship of the Ring and is well on his way to being a dad with jokes like this).

A policeman is driving past a roadside apple stand when he notices the sign: "Apple seeds, guaranteed to make you smarter, $20 per seed."

He pulls over and informs the vendor that it is fraud and false advertising to make absurd claims like this.

"No, no, no," the vendor tells the cop, "my apples are a special variety. A scientific miracle. Buy just one seed, eat it, and you will notice an increase in intelligence. If not, I pr...

I got an advertising email saying 'Google knows maps backwards.'

I thought, that's just spam.

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They just offered me sex in exchange for advertising a new detergent brand, can you believe it?

Of course I did not accept, because my will is strong, as strong as the new Axion liquid cleaner, the only true grease and stain remover, now with a new and irresistible vanilla-cherry scent.

What do you call a hobbit that works in advertising ?

Billboard Baggins

Sales

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house qui...

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What do you call an anal sex toy that is constantly self advertising?

A shameless plug

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are walking through Washington DC when they see a poster advertising an epic insult smackdown between all the living former US presidents.

"This looks like such a cool event!" says the Catholic. "I think Carter will win."

"I think the winner will be Clinton," says the Protestant, "with Obama at a close second."

"I'm...uh...not interested," says the Jew.

The other two are shocked. "Why not?" asks the Catholic.
...

The amount of advertising on social media is super surprising.

What’s not surprising? How much money you can save with GEICO Renters Insurance.

Trump has violated ethics laws by advertising a can of beans from the Oval Office but he's not worried.

I mean, what are you Goya do about it?

Apple is advertising the new iPhone as "The most powerful four inches ever."

I can't believe they stole my slogan.

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He list...

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I’m going to start putting chromosomes in my advertising.

Because sex cells

They used to say that even bad advertising is good, Blizzard just discovered that is no longer true...

When everyone has phones

My false advertising course...

Is SO WORTH the 7,000 pounds a year that I pay.

I was loudly advertising my Hawaiian finger-food stand in a public place and everybody started running away - wtf...

"Aloha Snackbar!" "Aloha Snackbar!"

I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies...

On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!

A man goes to a carnival advertising the three greatest samurai on earth...

He joins the expectant crowd eager to get their money's worth.

"The third greatest samurai" comes the announcement. The samurai steps up. A box is opened and a fly buzzes out. He draws his sword, there's a flash of light, and the fly falls in two equal halves. The crowd cheers.

"The s...

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A man went into the Job Center in Denver and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read:
"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so the...

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A college advertising lecture is taking place. The speaker is presenting his anti-drug PSA.

He says:

- I am the author of a simple, yet effective campaign against drug use.

He shows the poster he designed. It shows two circles, one big and the other small. The big one is titled "This Is Your Brain", the small one is titled "This Is Your Brain on Drugs". The speaker says:
<...

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A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race & buys a property way out west

No electricity, no phones - no company. He has read everything he can &, after a few weeks is getting a bit bored. One afternoon he seens the dust coming up way in the distance coming towards him, a while later a crusty old bushie gets out of a battered holden ute and puts out his hand. "Hello m...

I was browsing through a section in the bookshop titled "Advertising for Idiots."

It said "Buy one and get a second one for the price of two."

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I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today in exchange for advertising some kind of bathroom cleaner.

Obviously I said no because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.

My barista told me he wants to major in advertising when he goes to college

I thought it was a great idea, it'll help him sell more coffee.

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Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising.

He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson's Nails.
"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with a tape."
A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman sold...

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I've started using gametes in my advertising campaign.

You know, sex cells.

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Did you know, Google is making a new type of keyboard with only the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9? They're advertising it towards white women...

Because they "can't even"

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

Two marketing executives were discussing what to call the new advertising signs that were being installed along the highway.

VP Phil: Let's call them Philboards

CEO Bill: I've just had a great idea!

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How I tell that the targeted advertising is working

Usually I can tell when they start putting up those dick enlargement pill adds.

I saw where they pulled all the Steve Irwin sunscreen off the market for false advertising.

It didn't protect against harmful rays.

I saw a sign advertising a plowsharing market the other day.

I don't know if that's a more or less politically correct way of talking about a swinger party...

What should we call this giant advertising board?

PHIL: A philboard

BILL: I have a better idea!

Diaper companies should be sued for false advertising.

Not once have they held the 22-37 pounds they promised.

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What do you call it when a woman flashes her big fake tits.

Falsie advertising.

Why isn't there a lot of advertising aimed at philosophers?

It's a Nietzsche market

Two Rabbis are walking down the street and they walk past a Catholic church advertising a $50 payout for anyone who converts that day...

The one Rabbi looks at the other and says, "I think I am going to go in there, convert, and get the 50 dollars." The other Rabbi looks at him in disbelief and says, "You must be joking! Your grandfather was a studious Rabbi in Russia, your father emigrated to this country and also became a Rabbi, an...

Just passed a road sign advertising Blue Taco brand tacos...

My wife asked me, "Is that the female equivalent of blue balls?"

Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract.

That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult.

I went to the local auction house because the advert said lots for sale

False advertising, they only had land

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