The 58+ Best Advertising Jokes

Marvel should use the Hulk in more of its advertising.

He's literally a giant Banner.

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(Old joke) A supermarket opened up next to a small grocer and to show how much cheaper they were put a big sign out the front advertising butter.

The grocer used to sell butter for 50p a packet, but the supermarket advertised it for 49p. The next day the grocer put a big sign on the front saying:

Butter: 48p

The supermarket couldn't afford to lose face so the next day it was loudly advertising:

BUTTER, ONLY 47p

How...

[OC] In my day we used to use subliminal advertising to sell candy.

And, buy gum, it worked!

A man walks into a bar and notices a sign advertising "World famous punch!"

The man thinks, "Awesome! I love punch!"

He approaches the bartender and asks, "Hey barkeep, saw your sign. I'd love some punch!"

The bartender replies, "Sure thing buddy, you just have to wait in the line."

The man looks around and doesn't see anything.

Thinking of starting a liquor brand and getting free advertising from the other major labels

I'm going to call it "responsibly"

My new toothpaste is false advertising

It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."

Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.

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A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product...

A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product.

Their CEO goes to an ad agency to inquire about creating a large billboard downtown. He meets with an account executive and explains his need: "We have a good business, but I just feel like most people have never heard of ...

A bloke goes into the job centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologist’s assistant; intrigued, he goes in to find out more…

‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he says to the guy behind the desk.

The job centre guy sorts through his files and replies, ‘Ah yes, I've had quite a few enquiries about this one; the job involves you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist – you have to help them out of ...

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Advertising

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine-year-old replies, "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking,...

A billboard advertising a pie shop read...

'Just 3.14 miles away. '

Why is the Hulk good at advertising?

He’s a huge Banner.

What do you call a Hobbit who works in advertising?

Billboard Baggins

(From my son (9) who just finished Fellowship of the Ring and is well on his way to being a dad with jokes like this).

There's a man named Johnson who owns a nail company, Johnson Nails.

Business had been slow lately, so Johnson figures he might want to try putting out a youtube video to drum up some business.

He goes to an advertising agency and meets a man named Jim who assures him he can make the perfect ad for Johnson's company. He tells Johnson to come back the nex...

As well as exercise equipment, Christie Brinkley is now doing advertising for a bicycle parts company.

She's their new spokes model.

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I am sick and tired of companies advertising lies to sell their products

My father said this after watching Condom Advertisement.

A young baker buys a shop

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin...

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On Sunday, I walked into the weapons store one day and noticed a banner advertising sarin gas.

I went up to the cashier and asked, "Isn't this stuff illegal?"

The cashier replied, "This isn't your ordinary sarin. This type helps you lose weight," gesturing towards another banner claiming that inhaling a whiff of it every day would help me lose 50 kilos by the end of the week.

Fe...

The other day I saw a huge sign advertising a bunch of clocks.

I guess it's just a sign of the times.

The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

“That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He list...

A policeman is driving past a roadside apple stand when he notices the sign: "Apple seeds, guaranteed to make you smarter, $20 per seed."

He pulls over and informs the vendor that it is fraud and false advertising to make absurd claims like this.

"No, no, no," the vendor tells the cop, "my apples are a special variety. A scientific miracle. Buy just one seed, eat it, and you will notice an increase in intelligence. If not, I pr...

I got an advertising email saying 'Google knows maps backwards.'

I thought, that's just spam.

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They just offered me sex in exchange for advertising a new detergent brand, can you believe it?

Of course I did not accept, because my will is strong, as strong as the new Axion liquid cleaner, the only true grease and stain remover, now with a new and irresistible vanilla-cherry scent.

I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies...

On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!

Apple is advertising the new iPhone as "The most powerful four inches ever."

I can't believe they stole my slogan.

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A man went into the Job Center in Denver and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read:
"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so the...

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What do you call an anal sex toy that is constantly self advertising?

A shameless plug

The amount of advertising on social media is super surprising.

What’s not surprising? How much money you can save with GEICO Renters Insurance.

Trump has violated ethics laws by advertising a can of beans from the Oval Office but he's not worried.

I mean, what are you Goya do about it?

I was loudly advertising my Hawaiian finger-food stand in a public place and everybody started running away - wtf...

"Aloha Snackbar!" "Aloha Snackbar!"

What do you call a hobbit that works in advertising ?

Billboard Baggins

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are walking through Washington DC when they see a poster advertising an epic insult smackdown between all the living former US presidents.

"This looks like such a cool event!" says the Catholic. "I think Carter will win."

"I think the winner will be Clinton," says the Protestant, "with Obama at a close second."

"I'm...uh...not interested," says the Jew.

The other two are shocked. "Why not?" asks the Catholic.
...

My friend is in advertising,lately he ask 10 women whats the worlds number 1 dandruff shampoo.10/10 answered

...HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY BATHROOM PERVERT!!!

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I’m going to start putting chromosomes in my advertising.

Because sex cells

They used to say that even bad advertising is good, Blizzard just discovered that is no longer true...

When everyone has phones

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A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race & buys a property way out west

No electricity, no phones - no company. He has read everything he can &, after a few weeks is getting a bit bored. One afternoon he seens the dust coming up way in the distance coming towards him, a while later a crusty old bushie gets out of a battered holden ute and puts out his hand. "Hello m...

A man goes to a carnival advertising the three greatest samurai on earth...

He joins the expectant crowd eager to get their money's worth.

"The third greatest samurai" comes the announcement. The samurai steps up. A box is opened and a fly buzzes out. He draws his sword, there's a flash of light, and the fly falls in two equal halves. The crowd cheers.

"The s...

CEO: Is our advertising getting results?

Ad manager: It sure is. Last week, we put an ad up for new security personnel, and last night we got robbed.

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A college advertising lecture is taking place. The speaker is presenting his anti-drug PSA.

He says:

- I am the author of a simple, yet effective campaign against drug use.

He shows the poster he designed. It shows two circles, one big and the other small. The big one is titled "This Is Your Brain", the small one is titled "This Is Your Brain on Drugs". The speaker says:
<...

I was browsing through a section in the bookshop titled "Advertising for Idiots."

It said "Buy one and get a second one for the price of two."

My barista told me he wants to major in advertising when he goes to college

I thought it was a great idea, it'll help him sell more coffee.

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I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today in exchange for advertising some kind of bathroom cleaner.

Obviously I said no because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.

An advertising executive is about to jump off a bridge.

A policeman approaches him and says "Sir, don't do it!"

Then the adman starts explaining his reasons for the decision - bad economy, depressing surroundings, debts, etc.

After hearing that, the cop jumps with him.

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I've started using gametes in my advertising campaign.

You know, sex cells.

Did you know, Google is making a new type of keyboard with only the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9? They're advertising it towards white women...

Because they "can't even"

Two Rabbis are walking down the street and they walk past a Catholic church advertising a $50 payout for anyone who converts that day...

The one Rabbi looks at the other and says, "I think I am going to go in there, convert, and get the 50 dollars." The other Rabbi looks at him in disbelief and says, "You must be joking! Your grandfather was a studious Rabbi in Russia, your father emigrated to this country and also became a Rabbi, an...

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Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising.

He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson's Nails.
"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with a tape."
A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman sold...

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

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How I tell that the targeted advertising is working

Usually I can tell when they start putting up those dick enlargement pill adds.

Diaper companies should be sued for false advertising.

Not once have they held the 22-37 pounds they promised.

Why isn't there a lot of advertising aimed at philosophers?

It's a Nietzsche market

Life cereal uses false advertising...

I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.

I saw where they pulled all the Steve Irwin sunscreen off the market for false advertising.

It didn't protect against harmful rays.

I saw a sign advertising a plowsharing market the other day.

I don't know if that's a more or less politically correct way of talking about a swinger party...

What should we call this giant advertising board?

PHIL: A philboard

BILL: I have a better idea!

Utah Geologic Survey was advertising landscape calendars for the upcoming holidays...

...and said, "Hurry before they run out!"

What, the national monuments or the calendars?

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All these phone companies advertising for "More lines, more savings!"

But when I do more lines my savings go to shit.

What's the best thing about advertising using Internet memes?

You don't have to spend a 4Chan to get the word out.

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SEX IN ADVERTISING

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said:
"TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00."
A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just then, another car passed with a sign saying,
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the gir...

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