UPJOKE
leaninventoryblacklistenumerationindexitemizeregisterkeynamenumbertiltchecklistplaylistdirectoryenumerate

I love to make lists.

I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list when I'm at the store.
upvote downvote report

All my friends have such expansive bucket lists.

Mine is just a little pail in comparison.
upvote downvote report

Why can’t frogs ever complete their bucket lists?

They croak before they even get started.
upvote downvote report

What do you call a hospital who lists all their donor patients in alphabetical order

Organ-Ized
upvote downvote report

Most lists are general and ordinary

But there are a couple specialists.
upvote downvote report

There are 2 types of lists that bother me

1) Self-referential lists

B. Inconsistently formatted lists
upvote downvote report

If there were lists of the best dad joke tellers...

...would they be called the Pop Charts?
upvote downvote report

5 things I hate in lists

1) Missing entries

2) Repeated entries

4) Repeated entries

5) Incomple
upvote downvote report

What do you call a book that lists the names of every drug on Earth?

Addictionary
upvote downvote report

My wife and I made lists of people we're allowed to sleep with

She chose Ryan Gosling, and I chose the babysitter, and I *won*, and now she's mad at me.

 
 
 





Side note: I originally heard this joke on Dr. Katz, but cannot remember who the comedian was. Anybody happen to know? It's bugging me.
upvote downvote report

Someone should make a phone app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurant you can afford

Could call it Welp
upvote downvote report

Here are 10 things I'm scared of.

1)heights
2)lists
3)finishing things
upvote downvote report

A man gets to heaven

He’s a small nerdy account type, and he’s met at the pearly gates by St Peter.

“Welcome,” says St Peter, opening a large book. “This book lists all the good things and bad things you did in your life. If you did more good than bad, you get to come in.”

“Sounds fair,” says the ma...
upvote downvote report

The worst part about online dating

is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information