99 bugs in the code...

99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code!
Take one down, patch it around.
127 bugs in the code.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.

Last night for example, I couldn't fall asleep, because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone has a card pin code of 7541

and now that person is feeling uncomfortable

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Construction Code

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning, "n...

I hacked everybody and I have collected all PIN codes! Here's the list

0000

0001

0002

0003

0004

0005

...

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a girl, "Do you know the zip code for sex?"

She said, "No."

I told her, "No wonder you don't have any male in your box."

What do you call writing code for speakers?

Stereotyping!

(I laughed too hard when I thought of this, I’m so lame.)

It'd be cool if Jesus was like a new code-name for Heroin...

Bunch of people addicted to taking the lord's name in vein...

A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code

He refused to comment

What do Spanish programmers code in?

Si ++

Homie: Do you know how to write "s" in morse code?

Me: ...

What does a programmer wear?

Whatever is in the dress code.

I tried to look up Atlanta’s area code.

All I got was 404.

I heard that your mom uses her weight as her phone's pin code.

Guess that's why Apple changed it from four digits to six.

I'm so good at programming I don't even need to test before I ship code.

Sent my program last week and haven't heard of any problems since!

Signed,
Richard
Junior Helicopter Auto-Pilot Software Developer

I am a builder from Sioux Falls, and I was recently in Madrid at a local tavern, and couldn’t believe the amount of code violations in their building practices. This led me to accept that they are their own culture and....

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn condition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the $5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

What cheat code do you use to get into the Army?

Left, left, left, right, left

I am a programmer. A journalist asked me what makes a software code bad. I said...

No comment

Why is bad code also referred to as 'spaghetti code'?

Because it was written by IT-aliens.

Everyone remembers the zip code to Beverly Hills (90210)...

...but do you remember the zip code to Dawson's Creek?


90108 (for our lives to be over)

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I've been invited to the Premature Ejaculation Society's annual awards dinner. When I asked them what the dress code was...

They told me just to come in my pants.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It really annoys me when Americans act like they cracked the secret of Nazi codes when they took the Enigma machine off U-751.

Whoops, wrong sub.

I have a new code on my phone.

The numbers are all 3, but I'm not going to tell you in which order.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The prostate is like the Enigma code

It takes a gay man to understand it

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

Adultery Code

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would...

Why does the Norway Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian!

Edit: whoops I meant Norwegian Navy

Edit 2: Thanks to commenters I have links to other people who have posted this joke! I haven’t been around very long so I didn’t know, go give them an upvote as well if you’d like!

2015:...

If Trump is an agent of Russia, then his code name should be...

Agent Orange

I began speed reading, and just last night I read “The Da Vinci Code” in fifteen minutes.

I know it’s only 4 words, but it’s a start.

99 programming bugs in the code

99 programming bugs in the code.

99 programming bugs.

Take one down, patch it all up.

111 programming bugs in the code.


EDIT: FRONT PAGE! HOLY COW! Thanks so much, reddit! Credit goes to my IT teacher.
EDIT 2: WE SURPASSED 1K UPVOTES!?!?! THANKS!

The bro code

Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.

Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.

A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a bu...

If one's wealth was determined by how closely one follows a moral code

Evangelicals would finally be as poor as Jesus wants them to be

I saw man and woman wrapped up in a bar code....

...I said "Are you an item?"

What’s Trump’s code name when he visits China?

Orange Chicken

The Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes..

They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It’s not because they’re worried about spies cracking the codes. It’s just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can’t tweet them out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was the head architect for a Cocaine heist. He code named it

The Big Blow Job

I used to code a lot of HTML

but now it's just some <BODY> that I used to know

Dress Code

A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his t...

Why don’t they need dress codes in Kentucky?

They already have the same genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Won't you kiss me, doctor", asks a beautiful woman.

"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please, just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."

Tank tops shouldn't be against school dress codes

After all, we have a right to bare arms.

Why are all programmers drug addicts?

Cause they do a lot of codeine.

They should hide the nuclear codes from Trump by putting it somewhere he would never look

In a book for example.

I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far.

He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet.

Between my friends, museum is code word for Strip Clubs...

... because NO TOUCHING!!

Why should you wear a condom when writing C++ code?

It's full of std vectors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Code

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child tol...

My boss asked me why I don't like to code in Python.

I just find it too constricting.

Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code!

Dog: [taps paw]


Me: What did it say??


Scientist: "Woof."

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

This actually just happened...

*Wife: I wanna get into coding.

*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?

*Wife: English. Duh!

How do programmers from Alabama finish their code?

Roll ~

I'm a Programmer that doesn't know code

Some say I'm just Div'ing my own grave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DeveloperJokes

Fixing someone else's code is like fixing someone else's relationship. "What the fuck lynda, I didn't even know what I did in the first place, Don't ask me to fix what you did."

My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing.

She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.

What group of creatures go by the base-8 code number 3.110375524210264302151423063050560067016321122011160210514763071...?

Octopi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddies and I where out for a night on the town.

We ended up at a high end bar with a dress code.All my buddies being the suave dudes they are where dressed accordingly with suits and ties but I alas was not. See you on the other side fucker they all yelled out as they went in laughing. Well there I was, out in the cold left out,abandoned.Not to b...

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