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Newsagent Jokes

Paddy At The Newsagents

I’ve just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said,



“watch out you don’t trip up over your laces, Paddy.”




Paddy says, “yeah, it’s these bloody instructions.”




I said, “what instructions, Paddy?”
Pad...

I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards. The cashier said, "For the bus?"

I said, "No, it's my oyster's birthday."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men were arrested for masturbating in my local newsagents...

It was all over the papers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in my local newsagents this morning. I asked the pretty young girl behind the counter, "Do you keep stationary?" Left me red faced when she replied,

"Only to begin with, then I go like a fucking rabbit"

I was chatting with my neighbour who was bragging about how clever his dog was

He said "he knows all his toys by name and will fetch certain items by command, he fetches my slippers, I can even send him to get the paper, from the newsagent" .

I said " I know he told me "

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