UPJOKE
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Reference Jokes

I told a Saudi friend my best joke and he didn't get the reference.

It's like he's living under Iraq.

My wife kicked me out of the house for my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger references, but don’t worry...

I’ll return

Interviewer: can I get your references?

Me: probably not. nobody else does

The front page is filled with memes in reference to that guy being dragged off of a plane. I can't remember the last time the entire reddit user base was so...

... United.

Courtesy of my 11-year-old: Dad, what's the difference between a humorous reference and an imaginary bread?

One is a wry allusion and the other is a rye illusion.

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

A Canadian beer reference

How can you tell a man who likes Moosehead?

Antler marks on his thighs.

How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements?

Periodically.

It’s been 15 years since the show ended, but people are still making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

There is a horse. The horse says "I don't think." and disappears.

This is a reference to the Descartes quote "I think, therefore I am."

But if I had explained that earlier, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Reddit reference...

Heard about the new restaurant called 'Karma'?

There's no menu:

You get what you deserve

(UK reference) Whats' an aircraft mechanic's favourite Oasis song?

Don't Look Back in Hangar.

I feel bad for the jokers that don't get this reference.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.

That’s not a Crocodile Dundee reference...

THIS is a Crocodile Dundee reference.

I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis

I highly recommended him.

A lady finds out what a reference said about to her potential employer and is upset by it.

She calls her friend and asks him: "Why did you say I was a racist?!"

The friend is confused and asks "what are you talking about?"

The lady tells him, "You know how I listed you as a reference for that job in publishing? Because I always wanted to work in publishing? Well, not alway...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

He probably drank beaver milk (clever reference to the movie The Animal)

This guy got into a bad accident and ended up losing an arm, his eye and his penis.

He wakes up a few weeks later and is greeted by a strange looking doctor. The doctor explains what happened and tells him he performed an experimental surgery to insure some quality of life following the acci...

My girlfriend: If you don't stop making Scooby Doo references, then I'll break up with you.

Me: Alright gang, let's split up.

Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references...

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

I would post a cheesy joke in reference to Gone With the Wind...

But frankly, my dear, I don’t give Edam

(among us reference) you know what your dad and red had in common.

both of them escaped through the vents

What's the first reference to soccer in the bible?

"And then Jesus went up for the cross"

My wife wants me to stop making movie references

But old habits John McClane

What do you call a reference to the Eye of Sauron?

An optical allusion.

My son asked me this morning what self-reference meant?

[this should explain it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3vm6mw)

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...

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