UPJOKE
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Reference Jokes

I told a Saudi friend my best joke and he didn't get the reference.

It's like he's living under Iraq.
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My wife kicked me out of the house for my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger references, but don’t worry...

I’ll return
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The front page is filled with memes in reference to that guy being dragged off of a plane. I can't remember the last time the entire reddit user base was so...

... United.
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Interviewer: can I get your references?

Me: probably not. nobody else does
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Courtesy of my 11-year-old: Dad, what's the difference between a humorous reference and an imaginary bread?

One is a wry allusion and the other is a rye illusion.
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"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
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A Canadian beer reference

How can you tell a man who likes Moosehead?

Antler marks on his thighs.
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How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements?

Periodically.
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It’s been 15 years since the show ended, but people are still making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.
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There is a horse. The horse says "I don't think." and disappears.

This is a reference to the Descartes quote "I think, therefore I am."

But if I had explained that earlier, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
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Reddit reference...

Heard about the new restaurant called 'Karma'?

There's no menu:

You get what you deserve
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(UK reference) Whats' an aircraft mechanic's favourite Oasis song?

Don't Look Back in Hangar.
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I feel bad for the jokers that don't get this reference.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.
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That’s not a Crocodile Dundee reference...

THIS is a Crocodile Dundee reference.
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I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis

I highly recommended him.
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A lady finds out what a reference said about to her potential employer and is upset by it.

She calls her friend and asks him: "Why did you say I was a racist?!"

The friend is confused and asks "what are you talking about?"

The lady tells him, "You know how I listed you as a reference for that job in publishing? Because I always wanted to work in publishing? Well, not alway...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

He probably drank beaver milk (clever reference to the movie The Animal)

This guy got into a bad accident and ended up losing an arm, his eye and his penis.

He wakes up a few weeks later and is greeted by a strange looking doctor. The doctor explains what happened and tells him he performed an experimental surgery to insure some quality of life following the acci...

My girlfriend: If you don't stop making Scooby Doo references, then I'll break up with you.

Me: Alright gang, let's split up.
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Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references...

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
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I would post a cheesy joke in reference to Gone With the Wind...

But frankly, my dear, I don’t give Edam
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(among us reference) you know what your dad and red had in common.

both of them escaped through the vents
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What's the first reference to soccer in the bible?

"And then Jesus went up for the cross"
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My wife wants me to stop making movie references

But old habits John McClane
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What do you call a reference to the Eye of Sauron?

An optical allusion.
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My son asked me this morning what self-reference meant?

[this should explain it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3vm6mw)
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A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...
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