My wife kicked me out because she's tired of all of my bad Schwarzenegger references, but...

I will return

My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop speaking in Scooby Doo references...

Alright gang, let's split up.

I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits...

Pulp Fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

He probably drank beaver milk (clever reference to the movie The Animal)

This guy got into a bad accident and ended up losing an arm, his eye and his penis.

He wakes up a few weeks later and is greeted by a strange looking doctor. The doctor explains what happened and tells him he performed an experimental surgery to insure some quality of life following the acci...

How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements?

Periodically.

A headline from the Dallas Morning News

Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with chil...

I feel bad for the jokers that don't get this reference.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.

I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis

I highly recommended him.

People always use "Pavlov" as a reference.

But the name doesn't ring a bell.

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

The front page is filled with memes in reference to that guy being dragged off of a plane. I can't remember the last time the entire reddit user base was so...

... United.

I would post a cheesy joke in reference to Gone With the Wind...

But frankly, my dear, I don’t give Edam

It’s been 15 years since the show ended, but people are still making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

A man went to the doctor...

He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has...

Cards reference

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answered the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what comes ...

(among us reference) you know what your dad and red had in common.

both of them escaped through the vents

That’s not a Crocodile Dundee reference...

THIS is a Crocodile Dundee reference.

My girlfriend said she would leave me if I didn't stop with the Wham references

I said well, wake me up before you go go.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not your average blonde joke

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is eas...

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars references...

Well then you are lost

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Science-Minded Deviant

There's this scientist that loves dolphins. He loves dolphins so much, he wants to figure out a way to make them live forever. For years he slaves away in his basement laboratory, and he believes that he has found a compound that when given to dolphins, will make them live forever. The only probl...

I got fired from my last job for making too many Linkin Park references but...

...in the end it doesn't even matter.

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