Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.

If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN

They get VERY ANGRY

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Proper use of capital letters

It's the difference between helping grandpa jack off a horse and helping grandpa Jack off a horse.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know y.

Today I went to the post office to mail 20 letters... so I bought 20 stamps...

and the clerk just handed them to me. So I said "Am I supposed to stick all these on myself?"...and she said "No. Stick them on the envelopes.."

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.

She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again

The letters I, Z, R and E walked into a bar.

The result was bizarre.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

I asked him “What’s the word on the street?”

I'm teaching my Grandson the alphabet at the moment, starting with the hardest first four letters..

..the rest is just e-z

A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’
After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’
‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s ...

What do you get when you move around the letters of mailman?

Someone who goes postal.

Rearrange the letters PNEIS ...

**When I was young I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.** 

**One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when it is erect.  Those who answered SPINE are doctors tod...

My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work.

What do you say to let lose a line of lonely letters?

"Cue the queue of Qs!"

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These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

Letters between a father and son

Dear son;

Your mother and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here, and it is time to plow the fields. The ground is hard, and my back is old. I am afraid I will never be able to plant the crops in time.
...

I lost the letters I,T,A,E,S,S,R & D from my Scrabble game.

This could spell disaster.

What extends flexibly from the hips, is 71 cm long in men, and has the letters P, E, N, I, and S?

A spine

My mom always wanted to name her kids with the 4 same letters. There's my two sisters Lana and Nala, and then there's me...

Alan.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement

whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become...

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My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...

Do I Keep The Letters?

I hate spelling errors. You mix up a couple letters and your whole post is

Urined

Word joke

A man had 4 sons, and named them Bronson, Kenneth, Conrad and Dominic.
One day, they decided to ask their father if his choice of names meant anything.
He replied, "Only the first three letters of each."

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Me: I'm afraid of random letters

Therapist: you are?

Me: "screams"

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: "continues to scream"

One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????

My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!...

“Hey dad, why is my sisters name Teresa?”

“Your mother named her after her love for Easter, and when you rearrange the letters you get Easter.”

“Alright, thanks dad..”

“No problem Alan!”

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Why is C afraid of the other letters?

Because They're all nazis





(Not-Cs)

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A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt"

Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's birthday is coming up so she decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words "Beautiful butt" tattooed on her ass.

She walks in and tells the tattoo artist he husband thinks she has a beautiful b...

In Laughter, the L comes first

The rest of the letters come aughter it.

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A man placed an advertisement, "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: You can have mine

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My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate and burn them

I did the latter. Now what do I do with the letters?

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Choose a new password :

Choose a new password :

potato

Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato

Sorry, password must contain at least one number.

1 boiled potato

Sorry, password cannot contain spaces

50fuckingboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password mu...

I'm quite a normal person, I'm very good friends with twenty five letters of the alphabet..

I don't know why...

accidentally swallowed a bag of scrabble letters

my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?

Your spine

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his da...

I asked my wife, “I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Overworked Postman— can you help me?”

She said, “Sure. How many letters?”

I said, “I’m guessing—too many.”

What do you call a duck that steals the letters A, E, I, O, and U?

A foul vowel fowl.

Doing a crossword puzzle I came across a clue “Part of the body where you might insert a plug. 3-Letters”

Turns out the correct answer is “EAR”. I was way off.

I’m giving out my personal credit card info to anyone that wants it

It’s several shades of blue, very thin, about 3” long and 2” tall with these little raised numbers and letters on it, it has what looks like a SIM card on one end, a WiFi symbol looking thingy on the front, it has a bunch of tiny words and some additional numbers on the back with a solid black secti...

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

“Queue” sounds like “q” followed by 4 silent letters, but…

They’re just waiting their turn.

My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters...

He doesn't like Capitalism

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Me: I'm terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: *SCREAMS*

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

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Dear Mom and Dad

We are having a great time here at Camp CatchaCough. Our Scoutmaster is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.
Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain look...

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