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Pages Jokes

I just read through six pages in a dictionary.

I learnt next to nothing.

I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

A man writes a story in parts amongst different pages. He starts to lose some of the pages for the Rise of the story; then he starts to lose some of the pages for the Climax of the story…

He’s starting to lose the plot.

The doctor flipped the pages, and sat down next to me.

“The results just came back and I’m afraid to tell you, but… you have 6 months.”

I got up and punched him right in his stupid mouth.

Now I have 4-5 years.

Why do real estate agents put their picture on business cards, Facebook pages, web sites, billboards, bus stops, postcards, vehicle wraps, yard signs, and printed ads?

So you’ll know what they looked like 10 years ago.

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I took a few pages from Moby Dick and boiled them to see what it tasted like.

It was just okay, but I might not do it again. It was a novel tea.

I’m tearing out pages of the dictionary.

I’m up to Mischief.

Preferated pages are terrible

Tearable*

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I started a Chinese-Nazi Facebook page

so far its got three reichs

A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?"

Wife: "That's your job."

Hasband: "Says who?"

Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page."

Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee."
Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."

White pages

Had a conversation at work today. Got the yellowpages and was commenting on how much smaller the whitepages are nowadays than when I was a kid. My coworker proceeds to ask the difference between the white pages and the yellow pages in the book. I tell her the yellow pages businesses have to pay for ...

A married couple is lying in bed one night....

A married couple is lying in bed one night.


The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interv...

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages.

That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

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Three sisters were all getting married within a short time period...

...Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.

The card said nothing but: ...

I just got a joke book whose entire gimmick is the fact that you can rip the pages out and hand it to people.

Its a book of tear-able puns.

TIL there's a website that recycles 98% of its pages.

/r/Jokes

Do you know what's on pages 5 and 6 of an Opel manual?

Bus and train schedules.

After a long day, I come home to see that someone tore the front and back pages of my dictionary.

It just went from bad to worse.

Pages have been ripped out of the dictionary at the public library

Authorities are at a loss for words

My boss told me to file 100 pages of paper.

And i accidently did 150 pages.


What can i say... I am an overarchiver.

A man walked into a copy shop, and requested that they print a book for him with pages 30 feet long and 1 foot wide.

Printer: "Why do you need pages that long?"

Man: "Well, it's a long story."

Last night I read all 800 pages of 'The History of Super-Glue'

...I just couldn't put it down!

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A man haunted by his sins went to the church for a confession with the priest...

There's a devout Catholic man who once committed a regrettable act – he gave his best friend a blowjob while intoxicated. Filled with remorse, he decided to seek forgiveness from God and headed to the church.

Inside the church, he approached the priest and says he wants to confessed his sin, ...

If I ripped out the first 100 pages of my dictionary, will I then be able to look up well, but and actually?

Well yes, but, actually no

Satan was angry because Jesus was always so much better on the computer than he was.

So he went to God and said, "I have been practicing really hard, and although I can't beat Jesus at much of anything, I am pretty sure that I can beat him at computers. So will you set up a contest between us to see once and for all who is the best?"

God reluctantly agrees. He sets up two c...

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I came home one day to my wife ripping pages out of "Moby Dick" in the living room. "Why are you doing that?" I asked.

She replied, "Well, to make a long story short."

They're finally cracking down on Instagram pages that promote white-supremacy...

or as I like to call them: gram-crackers.

My son got hold of my autobiography and threw the pages all around the house.

I really need to sort my life out.

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My friend said he ate an entire encyclopaedia and pooped out a few pages.

I said, "Too much information."

In the future, they won't have pages in the history books for 1990-1999

because only 90s kids remember

I'm a really slow reader. Today, I only got through six pages of my dictionary.

From dawn to dusk.

I bought a dictionary from the library and realized someone had ripped out pages from the beginning.

They also ripped out pages from the end. It just went from “bad” to “worse”.

I bought a book of pick-up lines, but the pages were empty...

turns out it was written by Bill Cosby.

My girlfriend said period jokes aren't funny...

So I ended up throwing away 3 pages of jokes i had written about the Victorian era.

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A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers."
He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pi...

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