I was referred to a doctor with chronic back pain.

I hope he's still able to treat me.

Why are ships referred to as "she"?

Because they're always wet below.

My father was a conjoined twin. I always referred to his brother as "my uncle on my father's side."

But everythings ok now. They were able to surgically be separated. He's now "my uncle, once removed."

If the love between men is referred to as "brotherly love," what do you call the love between women?

Scissorly love

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss just referred to me as "A real pair of butts"

He said I am "A major ass set to the company"

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Why is sex referred to as a dessert?

because it ends in a creampie

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I pissed off two men today because I referred to them as hipsters..

Apparently the correct term is 'conjoined twins'

Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?

Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.

Little people are often referred to as dwarves...

...but that's a misgnomer

Why are Prisoners referred to as "inmates"?

Because, on their first night, they're most likely to have said to them: "I'm putting it in, mate!"

I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today

Their names aren't even that similar

Why are Catholic priests always referred to as "father"?

Because "daddy" would make it too obvious...

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I was referred to this proctologist. I thought he was a nice guy.

But he just turned out to be another asshole doctor.

Why are condoms referred to as "protection"?

I was wearing one yesterday and I still got hit by that bus!

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A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.

"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."

"Yesterd...

Why are the Middle Ages also referred to as the 'Dark' Ages?

because there were too many *knights*

Turns out shepherds don't like being referred to as

'ewe people'

Today my 10 year old daughter referred to the pile of dirty laundry that my wife is doing as.

Mount Wash More.

Why is bad code also referred to as 'spaghetti code'?

Because it was written by IT-aliens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like partic...

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New to the big city, a man is referred to a local bar, high up on the roof of a major newspaper building…

One night he decides to visit it. As he exits the elevator, he sees two other men: A classy, well-dressed bartender and a more blue-collar-looking patron in glasses. He sits down next to the patron and orders a drink.

The patron leans over to him and says, “First time here, right?”

“Ye...

Trump mistakenly referred to 9/11 attacks as 7/11 attacks

It seems someone has been providing him fake cues.

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Why is 17 referred to as the "Hot Cousin" in black jack?

Because you want to hit it but you'd probably bust and everyone be pissed at you.

Why is the Higgs Boson referred to as the "God Particle?"

Because it gives us Mass

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