UPJOKE
inaccuratefalseimpropererroneouswronginappropriatefaultymistakenuntruecorrectinvalidincorrectlycorrectnesserroraccurately

I hate it when people use "you're" and "your" incorrectly

There so dumb

It boils my blood when people use to, too, and two incorrectly

Like cmon guys it's really not to hard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife hates it when I quote old movies incorrectly

But frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit!

A man bids on a rare antique, item 23 in the catalogue, upon which he is incorrectly named the winner of the auction; the error is fixed five seconds later

Won two three for five secs.

I just realized I have been using the phrase “sunk cost fallacy” incorrectly all my life.

Oh well, it’s too late to do anything now.

What word do people almost always pronounce incorrectly?

Incorrectly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt

Is there some way to describe reading Braille incorrectly?

The words are right on the tip of my tongue.

What’s the only word that’s spelled incorrectly in the dictionary

Incorrectly

My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride

Unbelievable!

What word in English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer : Incorrectly

The only way to spell incorrectly correctly

Is to spell it incorrectly.

Incorrectly pronounced French jokes?

Oh please, so quiche

I've been spending a lot of time trying to come up with a way to wear my mask incorrectly.

I feel like the answer has been right under my nose this whole time.

(Edit: i actually think it would actually be worded better as "i finally found a way to wear my mask incorrectly")

What happens when you play the drums incorrectly?

You get repercussions

Do you know the definition of incorrectly?

If it goes in smooth and feels good then it's incorrectly!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

What would you do I if told you

that you read the title incorrectly.

What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?

They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.


(Edit)
Thank you for the awards.



As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't ...

An old Minnesota farmer found out the Minnesota and Iowa state border had been surveyed incorrectly.

When they told him his house was actually in Iowa by 10 feet He said, "Thank god. No more Minnesota Winters!"

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled

I n c o r r e c t l y

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

Why do left handed people always write incorrectly?

Their right hand has nothing left and their left hand has nothing right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Western Omelet

A retired man walks into his favorite diner after it just reopened from a long COVID-19 shuttering, eager to resume his daily routine of breakfast, coffee and reading the newspaper. A new waitress approaches greets him and explains that new contactless policy that eliminates the old plastic laminate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis



Subject: Women



Symbol: Wo



Discovered by: Adam



Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.


Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

A 5G cell tower was built in a rural neighborhood

After the cell tower was erected, people living near the tower started reporting worrying symptoms, such as, as dizzy spells, vomiting, and insomnia.

Over the next few months, these symptoms increased in both frequency and intensity--sometimes people would completely lose consciousness and fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy with a speech problem goes shopping.

(Sorry in advance for grammar mistakes)


There was a young boy with a speech problem, so he used to say words incorrectly.

One day, his mother asked him to go to the shops to get a bun, a bucket, and a cocker spaniel. So he went to the baker and says "Can I have a bum please?"
...

What does Excel have in common with an incel?

Both will incorrectly assume that something is a date.

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.


The woman ignores him.


*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*


The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the ...

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