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Can't Breathe Jokes

"can you take off the corset, I can't breathe" said my wife

"sure, if it will make you stop laughing and tell me how I look in it" I replied

Did you know you can't breathe while smiling?

Just kidding, wanted to make you smile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend hates giving blow jobs. She feels like she's choking and can't breathe.

I told her it's all in her head, but that made things worse.

Did you know that you can't breathe with your tongue out?

Pull your tongue back, you look like a donkey.

I think my girlfriend is allergic to nuts.

She's on her knees right now, her face is red, and she can't breathe.

Why is Covid-19 such a problem for Republicans?

Because people that can't breathe turn blue.

I organized a "Fat Lives Matter" march. We all got very tired...

I can't breathe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In these uncertain times I think of what my grandfather wouldsay if he were still alive

Get me the fuck outta this box! I can't breathe!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is experiencing back problems..

..and his back problems are starting to affect his ability to breathe and speak normally. He schedules an appointment with his doctor to assess and fix the problem. The man arrives to his appointment and says "Doc.. I.. c-c-can't talk.. c-c.. can't breathe.. back hurts.. help!" So, the doctor doe...

Have you heard the Eric Garner joke?

It's so funny I can't breathe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm going to hell for this one...

So I was fucking this black girl the other night and the likes it really rough. Very rough.

Anyways, she in the middle she suddenly just started shouting at me "Stop! Stop I can't breathe!"

So I just looked at her and said: "hey honey...let's not make this political here..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Dying Dad's Will

A son visits his father in the hospital and finds his old man lying in bed hooked up to oxygen. The two father and son had a big fight long ago and so they haven't talked to each other in years. He seems thankful and almost happy his son's come to visit him. Sullen, the son sits down on the chair ne...

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