The 108+ Best Box Jokes

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Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use the...

What’s worse than a box full of snakes?

A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.

My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday.

I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.

PETA is like a box of chocolates

They kill dogs

An Irishman is walking on a beach when he stubs his toe on an old metal box

He opens the lid
And a Genie pops out and praises him for letting him out after 500 years…

He offers him a wish… and the Irishman says… every evening after dinner when I pee, I want to pee the finest Irish Whiskey…

Done says the genie and vanishes in a flash…

That evening af...

Andrew Tate arrested in Romania after a pizza box showed he was in the country. Police arrested him within 30 minutes

As any longer would mean they had to give him a free garlic bread.

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When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.

Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans.

She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she ha...

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Guy walks into a bar with a box under his arm, sets it on the bartop and orders a beer. Curious, the bartender asks about the box and the man replies 'it's my pet octopus. He just got done teaching music lessons so I stopped in for a drink on the way home.'

Bartender doesn't believe it and asks for proof.
"Sure," the man says. "bring me any instrument, and this octopus will play it beautifully."

Bartender produces several instruments from behind the bar, and the man opens up the box, sets the octopus on the bar and it immediately begins playi...

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold.

I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

A couple have been married 25 years, and one day, the husband found a box in the attic with three bonnets and $2,500.

He asked his wife and she responded, "Every time I got mad at you, I knitted a bonnet." The husband was proud that in 25 years, he had only angered his wife three times.

"OK," he said, "that explains the bonnets, but what about the $2,500 dollars?"

The wife smiled and said, "That's mon...

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A man walks in to a bar with a box under his arm and says to the barman, “If I can show something you have never seen before will you give me a free drink?”

Now the barman has seen mostly everything in his time and says, “Sure, impress me and hell, I’ll give you a free tab for the eve!” So the man puts down the box and opens it and then he pulls a small piano out of it and places it on the bar and then a little man as well. The little man walks up to ...

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The waiter came to my table and asked "Do you wanna box for your leftovers?"

So I knocked his ass out with a left hook.

The doctor said my voice box is damaged and I may never speak again.

I can’t tell you how upset I am.

Life is like a box of chocolates

**It doesn't last long for fat people**

My Ex reminds me of a boxing ring.

It’s not unusual to find three men inside her.

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I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe sex.

she wants a box of condoms

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"

Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

Lady...

My biggest talent is that, I can always tell what's in a wrapped box

it's a gift.

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

A mailman notices a mail box with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his day....

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
...

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A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-balls and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my w...

A bounty hunter rides into town with a completely sealed box.

He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, “I’ve got your bandit just as you requested ‘dead and alive’.”

The mayor says, “not ‘dead AND alive’, ‘dead OR alive’. ”

The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, “I guess we shoul...

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Fifty Shades got $47 Million at the box office...

There seems to be a lot of women who don't get offended by a billionaire grabbing a girl by the pussy.

People think that just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, i should walk around carrying a big ol' boom box on my shoulder.

But I refuse to go with that stereotype.

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The whites are useless.

They put Chuck Norris in Schroedinger's box, and when they opened it...

...he was STILL both dead and alive.

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what's the difference between a black man and a box of donuts?

One of them's already full of holes before the cops see them.

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I ordered a box of dildos for my wife for her birthday.

When it arrived, she jumped frightfully when she opened the box. Guess you could say I gave her a case of the willies.

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A 12 year old boy goes in the confession box and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest replies angrily, "You better not be cheating on me, you little bastard"

At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy...

She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship.

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before land...

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What did Netflix do when they found uncensored shots of Sandra Bullock's vagina in Bird Box?

Bandersnatch.

I'm sorry.

When my friends talk about the 80s they think of boom boxes..i had to stop them.

That's just a stereo type

A boy is jumping up and down on a big box in the middle of the city street yelling "16!"

Most people are just walking right past the kid, but an old man stops and says to him "boy, what are you doing?"

The boy says to him "you gotta try this! It's so much fun!"

The old man says "that doesn't look like fun"

The boy says "trust me, it is, c'mon just try real quick"...

What will a cat say when it get stuck in a box?

LET MEOW!

Back in my day I went to the store with only $1 and came back with 2 bags of chips, 1 carton of milk, and 3 boxes of chocolate

Now they have cameras

(actual true story) I saw some board games in the middle of the road that must have falled off of a car; the Scrabble box had burst open and there were tiles everywhere.

A case of a wreck tile dysfunction.

What do you call a boxing match with no boxers?

A Jake Paul fight

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A big, burly, 6’10” 283lb guy walks into a bar carrying a brown box...

Everyone is staring quietly because of the sheer size of some random guy seemingly on a mission.

He walks up to the counter and orders two shots of whiskey. After downing them both in succession, he reaches into the box and pulls out a huge snapping turtle, shows it to everyone around. Then t...

A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.

They arrived today, safe and sound.

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
“Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy-eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a twenty-eight-year-old girl, and also, on the side, her nineteen-year-old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in ...

If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?

During my boxing career, I was the 2nd best boxer in my country.

I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.

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Black Boxes in pickups

About 8 years ago, when the trend towards really large pickup trucks began, there was a major increase in accidents with pickups. At the urging of insurance companies, the three major car makers started adding a "black box" to each truck. It would record the last 60 seconds, showing speed, accelerat...

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Guy gets hired as a salesman at a huge big box store...

....the type of store that sells everything.

At the end of the first month he is top salesperson, and the boss calls him in for a chat.

"You're amazing" says his grateful boss, "your first month on the job and you're top salesperson already! Not sure how you do it, for example just the...

my family is like a box of cereal

Those who aren't nuts or fruits are flakes

I just saw my wife trip over and drop the box of clothes she just ironed.

I..watched it all unfold.

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So, I was just in the laundry room, scooping the cat box, when a little turd rolled under the washing machine.

I guess you could say I really lost my shit.

I had a ford Fiesta once, then I left my prescription of Adderall in the glove box overnight,

when I came out in the morning, I had a Ford Focus.

I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box,

so I wrote ‘Free Tibet.’

A collector of rare books ran into a friend who told him he had just thrown out an old Bible that he had found in a dusty old box.

The collector's friend mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed the Bible.

"You don't mean Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

"Yes, that was it!"

"You fool! You've thrown out one of the first books ever printed! A copy was recently auctioned off for hundreds of thousand...

Me as a server in a restaurant: "Do you wanna box for the rest of this food?"

Guest says yes, so I start to put on my gloves

A man hasn’t been to church for a long while and decides he’d better go to confession before starting to go again. When he enters the confessional box he’s amazed to find that it’s got a bar lined with finest whiskeys and a huge array of the finest cigars.

As he’s looking at this in wonder, the priest comes in.

The man says, “Father, forgive me, it’s a long time since my last confession. I must say though, that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.

The priest says, “Get out,you idiot. You’re on my side.”

I was thinking about spending $100 to watch the boxing match tonight...

But why would I spend money to see Mayweather when I can just look outside?

Box of condoms = $6.99

Cashier's face when you ask where the fitting room is = Priceless

A man went to the register with only a box of condoms.

The cashier asked 'Sir, do you want a bag?'

He replied 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'

Box

I worked at a carboard box factory, but it folded

Why do you never have to buy a box of eggs in France?

Because one egg is always un oeuf

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life is NOT like a box of chocolates.

its more like a jar of jalapenos: what you do today can burn your ass tomorrow.

I remember seeing Bruce Jenner on Wheaties boxes as a kid and wanting to be him.

Apparently he looked at Wheaties boxes and wanted to be Mary Lou Retton

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Sal the boxing promoter gets a call Saturday morning of fight night

“Hey boss, it’s Joe at the gym. Big Frank’s had an accident and broke his thumb. He can’t fight for a month”
Sal goes into a melt down. Big Frank was his heavyweight prospect and the headline of that nights card in the Big Apple. Faced with refunding the tickets he gets on the phone to all the ot...

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track.""What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector."Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the...

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The box of condoms

Young couple finishes having sex when the female rolls over and looks at the box of condoms sitting on the nights stand, and notices that there are only six left out of the original dozen

She says,

\- ”We only used one. What happened to the other 5 condoms?”

The young man thinks...

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Signal box operative

New job

Guy goes for a job as a train signal box operative.

The examiner tests him for his thinking abilities.

"Ok. You have a train coming down the A line what do you do"?

"Simple, just give him a green go signal and the jobs done"!

"Great" says the examiner.<...

Why is fisherman bad at boxing?

Cause he only throws hooks

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Boxed In

There was a young girl from Peru

Who filled her vagina with glue.

She said with a grin,

“If they pay to get in,

They’ll pay to get out of it, too.”

A good analogy is like a box of chocolates-

you never know when you’re going to get a mixed metaphor.

What do you call wine that comes in a box?

Cardboardeaux

My friend was wondering if he should explore his kinks about masochism and boxing

I said knock yourself out.

What's the difference between pay-per-view boxing and charismatic religious broadcasts?

When a boxer knocks someone out it's for real.

Little Jimmy said to his big brother: "Look at this! On my juice box! It says it's made with 100% pure concrete!"

"No no no, Jimmy. Concentrate!"

"I am concentrating!"

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An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was filled with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, didn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card out of the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student looked at his teacher and ...

I just lost a boxing match in Transylvania

I was working for Dracula part time and had to run an errand half way through. Referee said I was apparently out for the Count.

the waitert asked me if i wanted a box for my food

i said no but ill wrestle you for em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife asked me what's in the giant box they just delivered to my porch.

I said it's a condom.

What do you call a stale box of Cheerios?

Cheeriolds.

How is Korean boxing like baseball?

They always knock out one of the Parks.

An altar boy enters the box to confess...

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or l...

I think my fuse box has a curse on it

Must have been the Mains Witch

An elderly woman is going through some old boxes of clothes.

She picks out an item, turns to her husband of forty years and says “Look dear, I wore this when we first started dating and i can’t believe it still fits.”

The husband replies “Yes honey, you’ve always liked that scarf.”

How many dwarves can fit in a box?

I'm not sure you should ask Snow White

I walked into wal-mart. I buy box of soda and ramen cups. The lady at the check-out looks at me and my purchase and goes...

"You must be single"

"Because of what im buying?"

"No, because youre ugly"

The little black box

A couple was married for 23 years and were very open and honest with each other. The only exception to this was the woman made her husband promise to never look in her little black box.

One evening he could no longer fend off his curiosity, he opened the box. To his surprise he found 1 quarte...

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal,

but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part of it.

So one day, he began climbing. He climbed over the other Cheerios, and gradually got his way up the box.

It took a lot of trying and determination, ...

A drunk man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in the confession box and says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies "No use knockin' mate, there's no toilet paper in this one either.”

My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate

Everyone got a piece

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.

Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

Box of cereals walks into a bar.

Sorry, we don't serve your kind.

- Is it because I'm square ?

No, it's the bar code.

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?"

There was a mohel who had the odd habit of keeping the foreskins in a box in a closet.

One day he noticed that they'd naturally tanned into very supple leather, so he took the boxful to a bag maker, to see if anything could be done with them. The craftsman told him to return in a month.

When he did, he was presented with a shaving kit.

"All of that leather, and this was ...

What do you call a vampire that defecates in a box?

Vladimir Poo-Tin.

What's a box of Kleenex favourite spa treatment?

Deep tissue massage

My wife said you’re a pisces, you live outside of the box

I told her no, I live outside of the aquarium. She didn’t laugh :(

What's dumber than a box of rocks?

...the hippie trying to sell them

and that my friends, as a geologist, is my favorite rock joke.

An englishman, a frenchman, a spaniard, and a german were all standing watching a street performer do some exciting juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden box and asks them, 'Can you all see me now?'

'Yes'

'Oui'

'Sí'

'Ja'

Have you read the nutritional information on a box of Fruit Loops?

You're better off eating the toucan.

I ordered some disposable lenses and got an empty box.

They said I must have selected Contactless delivery.

life is like a box of chocolates....

it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

I'm gonna watch 2 guys duke it out in the Indian Boxing Championships this weekend.

Now that is a pun jab I would like to see.

I got a jigsaw puzzle for xmas. It said on the box "3yrs+"

but I finished it in only 3 days!

Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.

He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered

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Saw a sign in a pet shop window today for a talking centipede, for only $500.00! I thought to myself, "What a bargain!" and I took it home in a little box...

When we got home, I opened it up and asked the centipede if it would like to go down to the bar for a beer, but the centipede didn't answer.

A couple of minutes later, I asked again, but still no response.

I started to get a little ticked off, thinking, maybe this little bugger can't ...

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Hellen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson, Hellen Keller never heard the bell

Me: A box of condoms, please.

Cashier: That’ll be $3.99. Do you want a bag with it?

Me: Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

What does a beatboxer do when he's extremely angry at some boxes?

He realizes he has anger issues.

Could you imagine taking a punch from someone that played Muhammad Ali, a boxing legend, in a movie??

Chris got lucky it was just a slap! Good thing Will's fist was as open as his marriage.

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On our first date, she said she always thought the dick in a box gag was funny. I figured I'd try it out a couple of dates later, but before I could even open the box, she screamed...

..."Why the fuck are you proposing so soon?!" and ran away.

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