What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, fluorine, and tungsten…because they are NSFW.
What's the best type of dog to bring to a library?
A hush puppy
What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class?
Her algae bra
What gun would Jesus bring to war?
A nail gun.
What fruit can’t you bring to a wedding?
A cantaloupe
"The strengths I bring to this job? Excellent numeracy, a perfect memory,
and a fourth one... ugh, what was it?"
What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat?
Depends
What does a necrophiliac bring to the first date with a girl?
A shovel.
What are the perfect snacks to bring to a coming out party?
Twinkies.
What’s a librarians favorite thing to bring to a BBQ?
A shush kebab
What will Santa bring to naughty boys and girls this year
Coalrona
What did Santa bring to the potluck?
Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.
What does Raptor Jesus bring to the world?
The Velocirapture.
Think of all the new jobs Trump will bring to America:
Wall builders, death squad patrollers, bounty hunters and immigrant poachers.
What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?
Baby backs.
What snack did the pirate bring to the Super Bowl party?
Chips Ahoy
What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party?
A turn up
What does a priest bring to a sporting event?
Penance
What's the best thing to bring to your holiday party?
A Christmas tree. Because they're lit.
What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue? (OC)
Brats!
In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?
Your lunch.
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