UPJOKE
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What do scientists bring to parties?

Sodium, Carbon, Helium, Oxygen, and Sulfur!
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What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, fluorine, and tungsten…because they are NSFW.
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What's the best type of dog to bring to a library?

A hush puppy
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What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class?

Her algae bra
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What gun would Jesus bring to war?

A nail gun.
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What fruit can’t you bring to a wedding?

A cantaloupe
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"The strengths I bring to this job? Excellent numeracy, a perfect memory,

and a fourth one... ugh, what was it?"
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What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat?

Depends
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What does a necrophiliac bring to the first date with a girl?

A shovel.
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What are the perfect snacks to bring to a coming out party?

Twinkies.
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What’s a librarians favorite thing to bring to a BBQ?

A shush kebab
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What will Santa bring to naughty boys and girls this year

Coalrona
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What did Santa bring to the potluck?

Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.
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What does Raptor Jesus bring to the world?

The Velocirapture.
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Think of all the new jobs Trump will bring to America:

Wall builders, death squad patrollers, bounty hunters and immigrant poachers.
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What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?

Baby backs.
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What snack did the pirate bring to the Super Bowl party?

Chips Ahoy
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What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party?

A turn up
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What does a priest bring to a sporting event?

Penance
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What's the best thing to bring to your holiday party?

A Christmas tree. Because they're lit.
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What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue? (OC)

Brats!
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In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.
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