UPJOKE

Brought To You By Jokes

The KKK is brought to you by the sports drink...

White Powerade

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day I hope to watch a cable show that says "Brought to you by..

The bill you pay every fucking month."

I was watching a hulu video and an ad came up saying "This episode was brought to you by the invisible children."

Now I know how the internet works.

What do you call an incredibly strong STD?

Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

You guys wanna hear a construction joke?

..... hold on I'm working on it.


(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids this day. Policeman V/S the girl.

A policeman on his horse says to little girl on her bike, "Did santa get you that?"
"Yes," she replies

"Well tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year," and fines her $5. The little girl look up at the policeman and says, "Nice horse you've got there. Did Santa bring you that too...

The pirate comes up onto the deck

The pirate comes up onto the deck and finds the captain.

"The cannons be ready, Sire!" announced the pirate.

The captain replies, "Are".

This joke was brought to you by the grammar police.

Did you hear about the new squirrel diet?

It's just nuts.


this joke is brought to you by amazon for rating 6 of my recent purchases, have a nice day.

I’m sick of martial arts.

I have kung flu.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old)

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it?

Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

What’s green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender.

This joke brought to you by one of my first grade students who loudly shared it at lunch this week.

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan
(This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long?

A "Pi"-thon.

(brought to you by the bad puns initiative)

The lobby of my local Dairy Queen was closed due to short staff.

They should've hired taller employees


(Joke brought to you by my 9yo sister)

At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks

This joke brought to you by my ten year old son

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Eddie Money, Eddie Rabbit, and Eddie Van Halen are all teaming up to make a new album!

The first ever album brought to you by Ed, Edd, and Eddie.

New Heist in GTA 5

Brought to you by Washington DC

Why are obtuse angles so depressed? (BPI)

Because they're never ***right.***



\- brought to you by the Bad Puns Initiative (BPI)

Why did the robber go to the circus?

“To steal the show.” This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)

What is cardboard's favorite sport?

**Boxing**

-brought to you by my 8-year-old son

What's the difference between myself and curtains.

The curtains aren't going to hang themselves.

(This joke brought to you by the Epstein Family. Epstein: We aren't gonna hang ourselves.)

What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

Why will the Moon replace YouTube

It has lots of big craters

This joke brought to you by my girlfriend, you wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school .

I wouldn't get a job at that mattress store if I were you...

I heard they have a high turnover rate.

*joke brought to you by lack of sleep

I really love whiteboards.

They're remarkable.

(brought to you by my English teacher. )

Why did the amputee have to sue to walk into the bar?

The owner was lack-toes-intolerant.

This joke was brought to you by literally every other post in r/boneappletea.

There was a murder at a Mexican restaurant.

A detective looked at the grisly scene, scattered with cheese and tortillas.


As he crouched down to discuss the situation with a fellow lawman, he asked, "What's the quesadilla?"



*Pun brought to you by my 9 year old*

"Knock Knock", "Who's There?", "I ate a pile up..."

"Knock Knock",
"Who's There?",
"I ate a pile up..."
"I ate a pile up who--"

(Say it aloud for full effect. Brought to you by my 8-year-old.)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

-To get to the idiot's house
-Knock Knock
-Who's there?
-The chicken
-The chicken who?
-The chicken who crossed the road
.
.
.
.
Brought to you by my 3-year-old sister. :D

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