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Black Widow Jokes

Why do black widow spiders kill their partners after they mate?

They can't stand to listen to the snoring.

My best friend said his junk was bitten by a black widow last night.

He told me she was in her early 40's.

Did you know that Scarlett Johansson kept getting lost on the set of Black Widow?

She kept Romanoff.

Why do the avengers make Black Widow share her location on her phone?

To stop her from Romanoff

Black Widow is just the right amount of hot.

In other words, Natasha Warm Enough.

A Black Widow joke

Q: How do you kill a Black Widow?

A: You take away her food stamps

Was told his one at a family reunion, don't know how old but thought it was funny as hell!

Me: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don’t understand why?

Wife: I’m pretty sure it’s to stop the male from snoring before it starts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Captain America lose track of Black Widow at the amusement park?

She was secretly Romanoff.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets bitten by a black widow

A man gets bitten by a black widow spider and he dies. When he arrives in Heaven, he meets God. He asks God, “God, there is something I just don’t understand. What is the purpose of making something so small, so powerful?” God replied, “I never saw you complain about your brain or your penis!”
...

I rolled up a newspaper to hit a black widow.

I was then removed from the funeral.

I’m worried I’ve become very obsessed with Wonder Woman, Black Widow and Captain Marvel lately.

I think I might be a heroine addict.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just got bit by a black widow...

People are fucking crazy.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

How do you kill a black widow?

You take away her food stamps.

The best way to avoid getting bitten by a black widow...

...is not wearing a red tie to her Crip husband's funeral.

Should I ever encounter a black widow with the opportunity to seduce and betray her, my final words to her would be

“For all the men that came before me”

When Marvel named a movie after Chadwick Boseman's wife, they crossed the line

Seriously? Black Widow? Show some respect!

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