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Toasts Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Toast of the Night

Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won th...

The Enterprise-D had just accomplished a major Starfleet mission, so the crew went to celebrate at Ten Forward. Captain Picard and Chief O'Brien were chosen to give the toasts.

First O'Brien gave his toast; "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."

Next Picard gave his toast; "Cinnamon, eggs, bread and maple syrup."

The bartender, Guinan, admired O'Brien's toast, but was absolutely confused by Picard's.

So O'Brien explain...

Toasts are like parents...

If they are black, you have nothing to eat

What do astrounauts put in their toasts?

Space jam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts. It was then I realized...

...I'd accidentally ordered Avogadro's Toast.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man Raises a Toast at the Bar

He toasts, "Here's to spending the rest of my life between my wife's legs!" The crowd hoops and hollers and declares that he won Toast of the Night.

Man goes home and says, "Honey! Honey! I won Toast of the Night!"

"That's great dear!" Says his wife. "What did you toast?"

"Here...

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