So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.

Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.

a caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven?

the dark knight rises.

The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.

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Two Muffins are sitting in an oven...

... one muffin says to the other "Damn its starting to get really hot in here." The other one says, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Hot actors are like hot ovens

It usually makes the news whenever someone puts a baby inside them.

A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven?

It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.

Roast beef and pork are both pulled from the oven

The pork says to the beef, "we meat again".

(Courtesy of my 8 year old)

My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch

I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.

I put a slice of bread in the oven and forgot to set the timer.

As soon as I could smell it burning I knew it was toast.

I found out my toaster oven isn't waterproof ...

I was shocked!

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What happens if you put a dildo in the oven?

You get dill bread.

My friend’s grandma had two ovens and stored bread in one of them...

One day she preheated the wrong one

All the bread was toast

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven and bake it until it’s bill withers.

I once chased out a guy who was trying to steal meat cooking in one of the ovens

You meet a lot of strange people at the Morgue

A woman announced that she was pregnant. Everyone congratulated her until she said that it wasn’t a baby, but rather, a joke...

It turned out she had a pun in the oven the whole time

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

What do you call two burger buns that came out of the oven stuck to each other?

Sesamese twins.

What do you call a woman who can service a car, cook, wash the dishes and repair the oven?

A Swiss army wife.

(Not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings)

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My wife and I just discovered an easy way to burn 2000 calories an hour during sex

Note to self: Leave bedroom door open so we can hear the oven timer next time.

What do you call a small gesture of acknowledgement directed towards an oven?

A micro wave.

Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?

His buns were toasted.

When I opened my oven door a big rat ran out.

I tried to shoot him but he was out of my range.

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Two rocket scientists, Dave and Archie, are in the staff kitchen...

Dave is trying to get the toaster oven to work so he can toast their breakfast. Nothing seems to be working. He tried unplugging/replugging it. He tried cleaning it out.

After several minutes, a frustrated Archie finally speaks up.

"Figure it out, Dave!" he says. "It's not sex."

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I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

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Three muffins are sitting in an oven

Muffin1 says "Man, it sure is hot in here."

Muffin 2 replies "Yeah, it's Australia"

Muffin 3 exclaims "Holy shit! Talking muffins"

Ik it's kinda old.

To your cake batter, slowly stir in the GPU and CPU and sprinkle crushed motherboard. Put in oven on bake.

Once done, serve and enjoy! PC cake.

A man buys his wife an electric blanket

The wife is nervous about sleeping under all the wiring but soon enough she relaxes and drifts off into a contented sleep. Unbeknownst to the husband, the wife had put a pork roast in the oven to cook slowly overnight for next day's dinner. In the middle of the night, the husband wakes up and smells...

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A grandson sees his grandpas drinking a beer and asks “grandpa can I have some of that” grandpa replies

“Can your dick touch your ass?”

“Well no not yet” says the grandson

“Ask again when it can” the grandpas says!
Later that day the young boy sees his grandpas smoking a cig
“hey grandpa can I smoke some of that” he asks

The grandpas asks him “can your dick touch your ass y...

An old man is at home on his death bed

When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just o...

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A dad puts a deer in the oven and doesn’t tell the children what they’re having

Dad: “We’re having what Mum calls me”
Kid: “DONT EAT IT ITS A FUCKING DICK”

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What's the difference between a microwave oven and anal sex?

One browns your meat.

A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

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In 1944 during a prisoner revolt at the Nazi's most infamous concentration camp, an SS guard was burned alive by prisoners in a crematorium oven.

That is what I call the Auschwitzaroo.

A Jew, an Hindu and Karen survive a plane crash in the woods

They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help.

At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it.

The Jewish man says:

"Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and ...

How does a criminal prosecutor fix a half-baked closing statement?

She puts it into a conviction oven.

A Brazilian Man just died and went to hell

Satan looks at the man and says: “You’re not in hell just yet. Because you’re from Brazil, I’m going to let you choose a hell of your own desires.”

The Brazilian Man said: “I hate Brazil. Let’s try the American Hell.”

He went to the American Hell, was stabbed by 2 Pitch Forks by demon...

What is the hardest part about cooking vegetables?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.

I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven

I guess I should have put it on aloha setting

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

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The bread I made came out the oven shaped like a voluptuous womans butt!

I tried not to let it turn me on, but dat ass dough!

I have this stupid obsession to check whether the oven is on and that the doors are locked.

I really hate my job at the crematorium.

My earliest memory of my mother is playing hide and seek with her, I would be sat peering out of the oven window and she would say...

"Your getting warmer"...

A cake in an oven

Society needs to stop discriminating, we don’t question a baker having a cake in the oven but as soon as I put 4 children and 2 horses in a volcano im the bad guy

What do you call Marty McFly in the oven?

Roast Chicken

I only had 5 minutes to season my Lamb before it went in the oven

It was a race agaisnt thyme

My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove.

However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

My local Baker says he can bake 20 loaves of bread in one hour with one small oven...

I said prove it.

All the witches be going to KFC tonight

They love some coven-ready chicken.

Boy: Why are girls so much hotter than boys?

Girl: Coz boys have two 5watt bulbs and one 40watt tube, whereas girls have two 500watt bulbs and one 3000watt oven.

Hey y'all, I tried my best to convert this from Hindi to English.

If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven...

is doing it in the shower a German oven?

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A Few Very Important Lessons You Will Learn Only After You Have Kids

A "King Style" water bed contains enough water to turn a 200 Sq m apartment into a 12 cm deep lake.

The voice of a 4 year old can deafen 200 normally talking adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you tie a dog leash to a room fan, the motor of the latter is not powerful enough to lift 23...

A man had a problem, he couldn't stop heating meat

Whenever he saw cold meat, he sought out the nearest oven or microwave and heated it.

His wife took him to multiple doctors, who sad there was nothing wrong with him.

Eventually they go to a psychologist, who recommends they remove all the cold meat and heating appliances from the hous...

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

They don’t like conventional ovens.

I used to be on of those chefs who shouts and swears a lot

But then I discovered oven mitts

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I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex

I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.

I just burned 3,000 calories!!

My fault for leaving my brownies in the oven while I took a nap though.

I burnt 800 calories this morning

Forgot the pizza in the oven.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother’s face through the oven window.

As we played hide and seek and she said: ‘you’re getting warmer’.

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A father of 3 and one of his sons were cooking pizza

They put the pizza in the oven and waited

When the timer went off, the father went to pull it out when the son said “Let me pull it out.”

The father then said “You shouldn’t, it’s really hot.”

The son replied “Dad, you have 3 children, I don’t trust you to pull out.”

I swear

I went to US a few years ago and asked for directions to nearest gas station.

A dude comes up and says" Go straight for 3.5 football field and you will see there is a 4.2 washing machine wide road and 6.8 fridge wide road. Go in the fridge road and you will see the gas station after your c...

The brownies I started making in my easy bake oven in 1987

are done if anyone wants some.

I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.

Friend: How?

Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

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The International Council of Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When sh...

I rewrote Hansel & Gretel but changed the oven to a mobile stove.

The title is now Hansel & Griddle.

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Nazi general: " Soldier, why did you put a American in the oven before the 9 Jews?"

" Sir, I was greasing the oven!"

Everytime I hear, there's a bun in the oven

I can only think of the inefficiency in cooking one bun at a time.

God said, "Come forth, John, and you shall recieve eternal life"

John came fifth and won a microwave oven

A baker decided to bake some muffins the afternoon

The baker was making some chocolate chip muffins for her and her one friend, after some time she putted the muffins into the oven and set to bake.

after several minutes,

the one muffin said: Good Grief it's hot in here!

the other muffin said: Good Grief, a talking muffin!?

What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories?

Leave the pizza in the oven.

Why do they call me an oven?

Because when I get turned on things get really hot

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

A statistician had his head in the freezer and his feet in the oven...

And said, "On the average, I feel comfortable".

My mum fed me yeast and put me in the oven.

Just how I was raised.

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I keep my porn in the oven!

My wife will never find it there!

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