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Farting under the covers is no longer called a Dutch oven...

It's a free Covid test. If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.

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Two muffins are in an oven

One says, "It's getting really hot in here!"

The other responds, "Fuck me, a talking muffin!!!"

What did the twice-baked potato say before it was put in the oven?

Damn, foiled again!

My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony?

One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham

Just burnt my hawaiian pizza in my oven tonight..

Should have used aloha temperature....

Lena is listening to the news as she makes dinner…

It’s rush hour around St. Paul and she knows Ole will be on his way home from the office. As she’s putting things in the oven, she hears a story about a car going the wrong way on the interstate! She immediately calls Ole to let him know he needs to be careful.

“Ole, are you headed home soon?...

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"...

The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.

The genius

A man is walking along a trail, he met a guy carrying a lock the size of an oven in his arms, the man then asked him:

"- That's a strange lock, where did you get it?

\- If youcontinue to walk on this trail, in a few hundred meters you'll saw the lamp on the side, rub it and a genie wil...

How do you to turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the oven 'till his Bill Withers

Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven rather than a cooking tray?

The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180°”.

Instructions said to preheat oven at 180 degrees

Not sure i'll try this recipe again, turning the oven upside down was a real back breaker...

What did the dutch man say when he invented the dutch oven?

Now we're cooking with ass!

Why should you knock on the oven before opening it this Thanksgiving?

Because it could be dressing!

I’ll show myself out…

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Dill Bread Recipe

This old recipe was handed down to us from Aunt Gladys. The secret is her great dill dough. All the ladies in the Church Choir always rave about Aunt Gladys great dill dough.

Ingredients
1 package (1/4 ounce) active dry yeast ...

Our oven broke Thanksgiving morning

So we all went cold turkey.

You should never put anything in the oven at 180 degrees...

You are just going to drop all the food...

Just burned 2,000 calories.

I promise that's the last time I leave brownies in oven while I nap.

Hot actors are like hot ovens

It usually makes the news whenever someone puts a baby inside them.

"Hey, you've reached your oven...

you know what to do after the beep."

Did you know that 'Muffins' spelt backwards...

...is what you do, when you take them out of the oven ?

A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven?

It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.

So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.

Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.

What did the fridge say to the oven?

You're kinda hot

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For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe

I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it.

You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to che...

There is a man, he is dying in his bed in his home. He smells something amazing.

It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate, four of them, just out of the oven.

And with his last hum...

Chef Tips

A chef walks into a bar, orders dinner and watches an episode of Hell's Kitchen on the bar TV. "You know, I used to be one of those chefs that yelled and shouted all the time," the bartender comments. "And then I discovered oven mitts."

My friend’s grandma had two ovens and stored bread in one of them...

One day she preheated the wrong one

All the bread was toast

I found out my toaster oven isn't waterproof ...

I was shocked!

Roast beef and pork are both pulled from the oven

The pork says to the beef, "we meat again".

(Courtesy of my 8 year old)

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Dave's wife is out for the night and he decides to eat some shrooms.

Dave's wife is out for the night and he decides to eat some shrooms. He passes out and wakes up at the pearly gates of heaven.

St Peter greets him and explains that he's actually died from eating some bad shrooms. However, if he makes dinner for Jesus and his 12 disciples *AND* they happen to...

I just burned 1200 calories...

I left the pizza in the oven too long.

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A woman was reading Cosmo next to her husband…

“Walter,” she said.

Walter grunted; she continued “Let me read you this hot sex tip I just read in Cosmo. I think we should try it.”

“Girls, you know your boy toy has fun with you in the bedroom, and that he’s never going to complain. But even the hunkiest hunk can get tired of the...

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A dad puts a deer in the oven and doesn’t tell the children what they’re having

Dad: “We’re having what Mum calls me”
Kid: “DONT EAT IT ITS A FUCKING DICK”

When I opened my oven door a big rat ran out.

I tried to shoot him but he was out of my range.

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What happens if you put a dildo in the oven?

You get dill bread.

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An obituary

Sad news: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy. The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly.
Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours.
Dozens of celebrit...

Why was there spaghetti coming out of the oven vent?

It was an impasta.

What did the baker say when he left his bread in the oven for too long?

Yeah this bread is toast

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What's the difference between a microwave oven and anal sex?

One browns your meat.

I once chased out a guy who was trying to steal meat cooking in one of the ovens

You meet a lot of strange people at the Morgue

What do you call a woman who can service a car, cook, wash the dishes and repair the oven?

A Swiss army wife.

(Not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings)

What do you call a small gesture of acknowledgement directed towards an oven?

A micro wave.

Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?

His buns were toasted.

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In 1944 during a prisoner revolt at the Nazi's most infamous concentration camp, an SS guard was burned alive by prisoners in a crematorium oven.

That is what I call the Auschwitzaroo.

I have this stupid obsession to check whether the oven is on and that the doors are locked.

I really hate my job at the crematorium.

What do you call two burger buns that came out of the oven stuck to each other?

Sesamese twins.

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I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

Happy anniversary

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.

Two-and-a-hal...

A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

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Splashed out and finally got a microwave oven. Its one of the really high tech ones.

Its got buttons and settings for all kinds of foods, even popcorn. Its got multiple power settings and a memory.

So I got a whole frozen chicken and popped it in. Pressed "Defrost", then "Chicken" then, "1.8 kgs".

The display showed 15 minutes and I pressed "Start".

Then the mi...

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The bread I made came out the oven shaped like a voluptuous womans butt!

I tried not to let it turn me on, but dat ass dough!

If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven...

is doing it in the shower a German oven?

To your cake batter, slowly stir in the GPU and CPU and sprinkle crushed motherboard. Put in oven on bake.

Once done, serve and enjoy! PC cake.

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I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex

I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.

An old man lies on his deathbed. The end is near and family is gathering.

His memories run through his head as he lies alone while people talk in the other room. Sad things, joyful things. So many joyful memories. He thinks he smells his favorite cookies baking. Wait, the smell is real! His wife is making cookies, something she has not done for years!

He rall...

My earliest memory of my mother is playing hide and seek with her, I would be sat peering out of the oven window and she would say...

"Your getting warmer"...

My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove.

However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

What do you call Marty McFly in the oven?

Roast Chicken

Give a man an edible, he'll be baked for a day...

Put a man in an oven, and he'll be baked for the rest of his life.

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An old Jew is walking home from work

An old Jew is walking home from work and passes a fancy restaurant. He looks in the window and sees rich people talking and laughing as they eat delicious cheese blintzes.

The old man is inspired: "blintzes for dinner!" and continues his long walk home. When he gets home, he announced to his ...

I only had 5 minutes to season my Lamb before it went in the oven

It was a race agaisnt thyme

The brownies I started making in my easy bake oven in 1987

are done if anyone wants some.

My local Baker says he can bake 20 loaves of bread in one hour with one small oven...

I said prove it.

A cake in an oven

Society needs to stop discriminating, we don’t question a baker having a cake in the oven but as soon as I put 4 children and 2 horses in a volcano im the bad guy

When building a brick oven it’s important to make the hole big enough to fit a chicken

And also to use a door, so he can’t get out

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother’s face through the oven window.

As we played hide and seek and she said: ‘you’re getting warmer’.

2 Muffins are in a oven

One of them says, it's hot in here,

The other one screams ahhh! talking muffin.


I know this is bad but my biology teacher said it and wanted to prove it was a bad joke.

Holland’s kitchen appliance manufacturers are the real heroes

Imagine how hard it must be to sell someone a Dutch oven.

My mum fed me yeast and put me in the oven.

Just how I was raised.

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Nazi general: " Soldier, why did you put a American in the oven before the 9 Jews?"

" Sir, I was greasing the oven!"

The oven and the woman are just alike

Because you have to get them both hot before you stick the meat in.

Why do they call me an oven?

Because when I get turned on things get really hot

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

I rewrote Hansel & Gretel but changed the oven to a mobile stove.

The title is now Hansel & Griddle.

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When I was a kid I put paper in an oven to get it to burn...

...but the knob only went up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

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A very rich man and a monk

(This is an old joke translated from bengali so forgive me for mistakes or reposts).


A very rich man had married a village girl and they were looking for a nice house.

Unable to find any apartment they went to visit a local monk of the village who was rumored to make wishes true o...

Everytime I hear, there's a bun in the oven

I can only think of the inefficiency in cooking one bun at a time.

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