I found out my toaster oven isn't waterproof ...

I was shocked!

My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch

I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.

And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life."

But John came fifth and only received a toaster oven.

Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?

"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.

"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"

"No problem, Toaster Oven."

A long time ago, a spanish civilization was extremely advanced in technology.

In fact, their technology was so advanced in their current time period that they were thought to be using magic. While others built their shelters out of sticks, they built their shelters out of adobe bricks. While others cooked with fire pits, they cooked with electric stoves. While others fought w...

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