My kids said they wanted to hear my joke about burnt toast

I told them it was too dark.

Don't cry over burnt toast

That would just make it soggy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Burnt Toast

A 14-year-old kid comes home from school crying after the first day of school. His mom asks what's wrong, and he says, "Today we took showers in gym class, and I noticed that compared to everyone else, my penis is small and I'm practically hairless! The other kids noticed, too, and they started to...

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man in hospital

A nurse goes into an older man's hospital room and asks the man, "What would you like for breakfast today?" The older man sits up and begins to describing what meal he would like to have brought out to him...

"I would like a glass of orange juice but instead of using a clean cup, I would like...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I entered a gameshow to win a million dollars...

The gameshow required guessing the unknown using your five senses.

In round one, I stuck my hand into a covered box and guess what was inside by feel. Without hesitation I knew it was seaweed and tinfoil. I would know that feeling anywhere.

In round two, we were paired and had to guess...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married truck driver goes into a brothel

He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast."

The madam replies "For $500 I'll give you my best looking girl and a 3 course meal."

The truck driver replies "You don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick."

A man walks into a bar

Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu." When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says Yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon-well done on one ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little 6 year-old boy won't talk.

His Mother takes him to the doctor, who says,"He's fine. Just give him time."
A couple months later, his Mother takes him to a Child Psychologist, who says, "He's fine. Just give him time."
A couple months later, his Mother is cooking his breakfast and she accidentally burns his toast. Scrapin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.

"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.