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Pancakes Jokes

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

Making pancakes

An Englishman and Frenchman are together making pancakes, the Englishman retrieves 2 eggs from the fridge and cracks one into the mixing bowl. As he goes for the second egg, it slips from his hand and explodes on the floor. "Oh bollocks!" The Englishman cries. The Frenchman turns to him and says "do...

Why do girls prefer waffles over pancakes?

They've got pockets!

How would you describe a bad joke about pancakes?

Wawful.

Who Flips Frankenstein's Pancakes?

Count Spatula.

What does a German say after eating pancakes for breakfast?

Gluten Morgen

This is my first joke. Be nice!

A doctor says grimly to a patient, "You are a very sick man. You've been diagnosed with covid, monkey pox, swine flu, Ebola, and bubonic plague all at the same time."

"Is there anything that can be done to help me?" asks the patient.

"Amazingly, there is," says the doctor. "First, we'...

Pancakes asks Sausage to go to the movies

Sausage asks: Hey, should we invite Bacon?

Pancakes says: Of course! I love Bacon.

Sausage asks: What about Eggs?

Pancakes shakes his head and says: Nah man, Eggs Benedict lately.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Kids Got Pissed at Me for Cooking Pancakes this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke to tell your friends in-person

So, like the title says, this joke only works if you're telling it to your friend in real life! Make sure it's someone you're somewhat close with, though.

So a guy walks into a three-story building. That's very important to the story, so you gotta remember it. How many stories does it have?...

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around?

Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes!

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed h...

I hate french pancakes

..they give me the crepes

Why do Jedi's always burn their pancakes?

They refuse to turn to the darkside.

My wife makes my pancakes too thin.

Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pizza walks by two pancakes

Pancake: " Look at that bitch with all that make-up!"

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes

A couple was raising a young boy. The two parents were concerned about their child, as he had an abnormally small penis for his age. So they consult a doctor, and after a close examination, the doctor tells the parents, "Just feed him plenty of pancakes. Eventually he'll reach a good size."

T...

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar. They walk up to the counter and order some drinks. The bartender says,

Sorry, we dont serve breakfast

There were 3 moles living in a hole...

One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so...

Foreplay is like pancakes...

three minutes on each side.

What did aunt jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?

Oh how waffle!

I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

How do cannibals eat pancakes?

They wait by tall buildings.

Revenge

Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast.

One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.
...

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."

"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"

"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

I dreamed last last night that I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road

I tossed and turned all night

Where do all the naughty pancakes go?

Flipping Hell!

First Pancake

A young mother was preparing breakfast for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. They both said they wanted pancakes. As the pancakes were almost finished and the syrup was being heated in the microwave, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother, who was also a Sund...

Just opened a Sandwich & Pancakes restaurant!

I named it “Not all Heroes, We’re Crepes”

How do you get up on a horse made of pancakes?

Using the syrups.

A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.


The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

I tried making pancakes...

But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym

My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes yesterday.

She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

I really feel like having some pancakes...

maybe I don't...I just can't stop waffling.

Me: I'll have a stack of 24 pancakes, please

Waitress: That's a tall order!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

What does the pope put on his pancakes?

Papal syrup.

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn’t want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn't…

Then I was.

Then I wasn't.

Then I was.

Now, it looks like I'm just waffling…

What'd the Parisian chef say when he messed up his Pancakes?

"Aww Crepe."

You know what they say about family - blood is thicker than water.

But maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.

What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes?

A flip-flop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Support your local mailman

On John's last day as a mailman after 40 years serving the same neighborhood, the first house on his route gave him a nice gift envelope with $100 in cash.

At the second house, they gave him a box of high-quality cigars.

At the third house, they handed him a selection of great fishing ...

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

A family of moles on an early breakfast morning.

The big ol papa mole raises his head up out of the hole and smells the air then says "i smell pancakes!"

Then the big ol mama mole sticks her head up out of the hole, smells the air, and says "i smell pancakes!"

Then itty bitty lil ol baby mole wiggles up between big ol papa mole and b...

Two pancakes were talking. One said to the other, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "hello."

The other said "ugh, get away from me, you crepe."

The Good Date Potato Pancake Joke

Was recently told this joke by my professor.

A boy is going on a date. Nervous, he asks the father for tips. The father runs the basics down and stresses one thing. "Now son, there are only three things you can talk about : Food, Family and Philosophy".

The boy has no reason to doubt h...

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice.

"My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence retu...

A family of moles wake up from hibernation.

They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there’s a layer of concrete that wasn’t there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.

“Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It ...

Did you hear about the guy who didn't like people watching him eat pancakes?

He always ate them syruptitiously.

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...

The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"

Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three moles are crawling through their borrow on their way to breakfast, one right after the other.

The first mole says, “I can already smell that sizzling bacon.”

The second mole says, “I’m pretty sure I can smell hot pancakes with fresh butter and syrup.”

The last mole says, “the only thing I can smell is molasses.”

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....


Has anyone heard a version of this before?

A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens where greeted by the pope

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Univers visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and currently we await his return to us.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, alwa...

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old Mailman

A 65-year old mailman decided it was time to retire. When the small
commmunity he worked for found out, they decided they should do
something nice for him, since he'd served them for the past 45
years.

So, the last day on the job, the mailman went up to the first house,
and the ho...

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