The 69+ Best Pancakes Jokes

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

How would you describe a bad joke about pancakes?

Wawful.

Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around?

Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar. They walk up to the counter and order some drinks. The bartender says,

Sorry, we dont serve breakfast

Have you met my one legged friend?

Her name is Eileen….she works at that breakfast place that just sells pancakes.

Why do Jedi's always burn their pancakes?

They refuse to turn to the darkside.

I hate french pancakes

..they give me the crepes

I dreamed last last night that I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road

I tossed and turned all night

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A pizza walks by two pancakes

Pancake: " Look at that bitch with all that make-up!"

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

The new blonde waitress at the truck stop

A nasty and mean looking trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out ther...

My wife makes my pancakes too thin.

Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.

What did aunt jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?

Oh how waffle!

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My Kids Got Pissed at Me for Cooking Pancakes this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

Papa Mole, Mama Mole, and Baby Mole

There was a papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole tunneling through the ground one right after the other. They were digging and digging and digging when all of a sudden, Bam! The papa mole ran into a wall.

The papa mole was a bit shaken up. He stuck his head out and saw it was Waffle House...

How do you get up on a horse made of pancakes?

Using the syrups.

A family of moles on an early breakfast morning.

The big ol papa mole raises his head up out of the hole and smells the air then says "i smell pancakes!"

Then the big ol mama mole sticks her head up out of the hole, smells the air, and says "i smell pancakes!"

Then itty bitty lil ol baby mole wiggles up between big ol papa mole and b...

"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."

"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"

"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three moles are crawling through their borrow on their way to breakfast, one right after the other.

The first mole says, “I can already smell that sizzling bacon.”

The second mole says, “I’m pretty sure I can smell hot pancakes with fresh butter and syrup.”

The last mole says, “the only thing I can smell is molasses.”

What do you want for breakfast?

There were two elderly people who were trying to decide what to have for breakfast. Keep this in mind: because of their age, neither of them have the greatest memory anymore.

The husband asks the wife, "what do you want for breakfast?"

The wife responds, "Oh... just a bowl of oatmeal w...

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

You know what they say about family - blood is thicker than water.

But maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.

A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...

Be first

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."

Kevin turned t...

Foreplay is like pancakes...

three minutes on each side.

The wife asked me to go out and get something for the pancakes.

She wasn't impressed when I came back with a bra.

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Having children is like making pancakes.

The first one is always fucked up, but you make all the other ones better and didn't drop none on the floor this time.

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Pancakes!

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed h...

Where do all the naughty pancakes go?

Flipping Hell!

Just opened a Sandwich & Pancakes restaurant!

I named it “Not all Heroes, We’re Crepes”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard it?

A horse, Dave and his boss, the Pope, a cab driver, a drunk and his wife, a ventriloquist and a Welshman, two kids and their mother, three captives, a teacher and little Johnny, and a preacher and little Sally walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Th...

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice.

"My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence retu...

How do cannibals eat pancakes?

They wait by tall buildings.

Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where an old-timer is having breakfast.

One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.

Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.

“Not much of a man, was he?” s...

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Three Jewish pigs walk into a diner

And they get seated at a booth. They're each peering through their menus when the waiter comes up to the table and says, "what'll it be fellas?"

The first pig says, "I'll have the blueberry pancakes. Extra butter".

The second pig says, "I'll have the fish and chips. Hold the tartar s...

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Pancakes

A couple was raising a young boy. The two parents were concerned about their child, as he had an abnormally small penis for his age. So they consult a doctor, and after a close examination, the doctor tells the parents, "Just feed him plenty of pancakes. Eventually he'll reach a good size."

T...

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn’t want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn't…

Then I was.

Then I wasn't.

Then I was.

Now, it looks like I'm just waffling…

Me: I'll have a stack of 24 pancakes, please

Waitress: That's a tall order!

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

I really feel like having some pancakes...

maybe I don't...I just can't stop waffling.

What'd the Parisian chef say when he messed up his Pancakes?

"Aww Crepe."

What do pancakes do when they are scared?

They crepe themselves ;D

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

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Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....

Has anyone heard a version of this before?

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Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.

So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

I tried making pancakes...

But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

What does the pope put on his pancakes?

Papal syrup.

Two pancakes were talking. One said to the other, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "hello."

The other said "ugh, get away from me, you crepe."

Did you hear about the guy who didn't like people watching him eat pancakes?

He always ate them syruptitiously.

So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...

The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"

Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in ...

When I went to the park today, I saw an old man sitting on a park bench crying.

I asked him what was wrong.

He replied, "I have a beautiful 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning, and then gets up and makes me pancakes, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I asked, "Well then, why are you crying?"

He says, "She makes my favourite lunch...

What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes?

A flip-flop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my birthday, my brother made me pancakes!

I told him to stop flattening my fucking birthday cake.

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

breakfast

I was making pancakes this morning. The wife sneaked up behind and startled me.

"Oh honey you scared the crepe out of me!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mailman is making his route. On his last day before retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky negligee and says, "Today is your last day, isn’t it? Come with me; I have a surprise for you."

She takes him by the hand and leads him into the house where he finds a complete breakfast feast laid out for him—eggs, pancakes, bacon, the works. The mailman stuffs himself, pushes back from the table, and says, "Thank you ma’am, this was wonderful, but I really should finish my route."

She...

The Good Date Potato Pancake Joke

Was recently told this joke by my professor.

A boy is going on a date. Nervous, he asks the father for tips. The father runs the basics down and stresses one thing. "Now son, there are only three things you can talk about : Food, Family and Philosophy".

The boy has no reason to doubt h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I believe it's a true story... who knows?

Someone told me this joke many years ago. They say it was an English couple in Algarve (Portugal) but I believe this can be a joke (Btw, English not my main language...)

A man and woman enter an hospital. The man has blood on his dick and the wife has a burn on her face and back.

The d...

A group of moles are hibernating for the winter in a burrow by a small farm on the countryside

One morning, one of the moles pops his head out of the hole.

“I smell maple syrup in the air!” Says the mole, “every start of spring the farmer’s wife cooks pancakes. It’s time for us to leave!”

The mole leaves the burrow. And a second mole sticks his head out.

“He’s onto someth...

Library of Congress bomber…

Yesterday’s attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :

-the Richmond Mall’s Supreme Food Court

-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave

-...

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