Why do jedi always burn their pancakes?

Because they wont turn over to the dark side.

I dreamed last last night that I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road

I tossed and turned all night

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

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A pizza walks by two pancakes

Pancake: " Look at that bitch with all that make-up!"

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

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What's the difference between Tony Blair & a chef who keeps dropping his pancakes?

Nothing, they're both useless tossers...

How do you get up on a horse made of pancakes?

Using the syrups.

I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

What do you want for breakfast?

There were two elderly people who were trying to decide what to have for breakfast. Keep this in mind: because of their age, neither of them have the greatest memory anymore.

The husband asks the wife, "what do you want for breafast?"

The wife responds, "Oh... just a bowl of oatmeal wo...

What did aunt jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?

Oh how waffle!

My wife makes my pancakes too thin.

Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

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My grandfather’s favorite joke

An old fisherman makes camp up in the wild north country near a blue-green lake, and in the morning he starts to make breakfast. As he’s cooking, a little family of moles living in a mole-hill nearby begin to smell what the old fisherman’s cooking. The mother mole says “Hey! Old Fisherman’s cooking,...

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My Kids Got Pissed at Me for Cooking Pancakes this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

Library of Congress bomber…

Yesterday’s attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :

-the Richmond Mall’s Supreme Food Court

-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave

-...

Foreplay is like pancakes...

three minutes on each side.

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A mailman is making his route. On his last day before retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky negligee and says, "Today is your last day, isn’t it? Come with me; I have a surprise for you."

She takes him by the hand and leads him into the house where he finds a complete breakfast feast laid out for him—eggs, pancakes, bacon, the works. The mailman stuffs himself, pushes back from the table, and says, "Thank you ma’am, this was wonderful, but I really should finish my route."

She...

Where do all the naughty pancakes go?

Flipping Hell!

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Just a slip of the tongue

A guy boards the flight and looks over at his row mate to see they have something in common and strikes up a conversation-

Guy 1 - Wow, what a coincidence. We both have a black eye!

Guy 2 - Yeah, it was really just a slip of the tongue. I was at the ticket counter and the woman behind ...

Just opened a Sandwich & Pancakes restaurant!

I named it “Not all Heroes, We’re Crepes”

"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."

"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"

"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."

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Having children is like making pancakes.

The first one is always fucked up, but you make all the other ones better and didn't drop none on the floor this time.

A group of moles are hibernating for the winter in a burrow by a small farm on the countryside

One morning, one of the moles pops his head out of the hole.

“I smell maple syrup in the air!” Says the mole, “every start of spring the farmer’s wife cooks pancakes. It’s time for us to leave!”

The mole leaves the burrow. And a second mole sticks his head out.

“He’s onto someth...

The wife asked me to go out and get something for the pancakes.

She wasn't impressed when I came back with a bra.

What do bus drivers put on their morning pancakes?

Traffic jam

First Pancake

A young mother was preparing breakfast for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. They both said they wanted pancakes. As the pancakes were almost finished and the syrup was being heated in the microwave, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother, who was also a Sund...

What do call someone who steals pancakes?

A Crepetomaniac

Me: I'll have a stack of 24 pancakes, please

Waitress: That's a tall order!

I really feel like having some pancakes...

maybe I don't...I just can't stop waffling.

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Pancakes!

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed h...

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket. "Do you have a brother?" "No." After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn’t want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

How do cannibals eat pancakes?

They wait by tall buildings.

What'd the Parisian chef say when he messed up his Pancakes?

"Aww Crepe."

An old man is eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walk in.

The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man's pancakes.

The second biker spits out his tobacco in the old man's coffee.

The third biker takes the entire meal and shoves it off the table.

The old man, without saying so much as a word, gets up, pays the waitress, and exi...

I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn't…

Then I was.

Then I wasn't.

Then I was.

Now, it looks like I'm just waffling…

A man walks into a greasy spoon for breakfast....

Waiter says “what will it be, mac? “
The customer says “ I gotta catch a train - so I’ll just have a short stack of pancakes , also coffee ... and waiter - will they be long?”
The waiter says “No buddy, they’ll be round...”

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Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

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Pancakes

A couple was raising a young boy. The two parents were concerned about their child, as he had an abnormally small penis for his age. So they consult a doctor, and after a close examination, the doctor tells the parents, "Just feed him plenty of pancakes. Eventually he'll reach a good size."

T...

I tried making pancakes...

But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

What does the pope put on his pancakes?

Papal syrup.

What do pancakes do when they are scared?

They crepe themselves ;D

Two pancakes were talking. One said to the other, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "hello."

The other said "ugh, get away from me, you crepe."

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

Did you hear about the guy who didn't like people watching him eat pancakes?

He always ate them syruptitiously.

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Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

I'm scared of french pancakes

They give me the crepes

So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...

The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"

Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in ...

The Good Date Potato Pancake Joke

Was recently told this joke by my professor.

A boy is going on a date. Nervous, he asks the father for tips. The father runs the basics down and stresses one thing. "Now son, there are only three things you can talk about : Food, Family and Philosophy".

The boy has no reason to doubt h...

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

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