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Seer Jokes

A man goes to see a seer

He knocks his door, from the inside the seer shouts "who is it?"

Disappointed, the man walks away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon

The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.



The dungeon's architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. Th...

A patient with a serious illness was visiting his old doctor

Before showing the exam results, the doctor needs more informations about his patient, and asks:


-So, what's your job?


-I'm a seer.


-Hmm nice.


Then the doctor puts it on the paper, very slowly.


-Can you do it faster, please? I don't have all day...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler went to a fortuneteller to ask when he will die

The seer told him, “You will die on a Jewish holiday.”

“How are you sure about that?”, Hitler demanded.

“Because”, she replied, “any day on which you die will become a Jewish holiday.”

The year is 1900 and it is sunny summer day in Germany

One person, named Hans has a day off. He decides to go to seer to find about something about his future.

He went to the seer. It was old lady that could see peoples' future in her magical globe. She closes herself with Hans in one dark room and starts the ritual.

All of a sudden she g...

A newlywed couple was on vacation when they heard about a prophet who lived in the hills nearby...

They were told by their hotel concierge that he always spoke the truth and could tell them their future, so, filled with curiousity, they went to see him. As they approached the hut, they noticed a terrible smell coming from inside but they pressed on.

The old man was sitting in a chair, wit...

The tale of Thanksgiving.

It's that time of year, so raise a cheer, here's to drinking beer and shooting deer. Here's to friends who are sincere and friends who will endear. When others appear we give them a leer, but not so severe that they leave out of fear. We send pioneers to explore the frontier, and they return bearing...

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